The Survivors' Stories
by NYPDm07
Summary: It's been nearly a year since Adam and Lawrence have escaped the bathroom of Jigsaw's evil games. They haven't seen each other since the hospital. Until a rainy, Friday night.  Lawrence/Adam.
1. Chapter 1: It Begins With a Phone Call

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters, unfortunately. **

**Other: Hello! :) Alright, so this is my first chapter...And my first story on fanfic. This is a LawrencexAdam slash. :) Like it should have been in the movie LOL. Well, I hope you guys like it. **

Darkness began to swallow up the sky. The colors of sunset began to fade away, retreating back to where they came from, to prepare for tomorrow's next explosion of gorgeous colors. While they disappeared slowly, fading so discreetly that most people didn't even notice they had gone until they looked up with surprised, wondrous expressions, startled that they hadn't even noticed that the sunset had morphed into darkness. The sky was beginning to turn an inky black. It was too early for the stars to pop out of their hiding places; they shyly remained hidden. The swollen, gray clouds that had blanketed the sky all day, threatening to release rain, finally did. People on the streets of New York whipped umbrellas from their bags, prepared.

Lawrence Gordon wasn't as lucky as those people. He hadn't been prepared; no, he'd been inside the hospital all day, performing a major operation, and hadn't been able to spare a fleeting glance out a window. If he had, maybe he could have borrowed an umbrella from someone. But he hadn't. Luckily, his taxi had just rolled up, and he hopped inside quickly. There were spots of rain all over his white lab-like coat and his black briefcase, which he set down by his feet.

"Where you goin'?" the cabbie asked impassively, a fat cigar dangling from the corner of his mouth. The whole taxi smelled putrid from the smoke the cigar gave off, and Lawrence tried not to gag as he gave the cabbie his address.

After he'd been discharged from the very hospital he worked at, Alison had demanded a divorce. She was terrified and stressed, and she wanted nothing to do with him anymore. She blamed him for everything that she and Diana had had to go through. Not that Lawrence was very heartbroken; he had lost his love for the beautiful woman years ago, which was why he'd had so many affairs. There was no love. Her smiles had grown less cheerful around him. There was always something about him that she wanted to criticize or complain about. She never wanted to have sex anymore, and turned away whenever Lawrence tried to kiss or hug her. Lawrence was sick of the constant degrading and nagging, and started sleeping around. When Alison found out, she was furious, but stayed with him, only because of Diana's very young age. She was older now, though, at seven years old, and Alison and Lawrence finally broke it off. Alison had custody over Diana, of course, but Diana stayed with him from Saturday to Tuesday. Today being a Friday, Lawrence would receive Diana tomorrow. He'd be going home to an empty apartment tonight.

And for some strange reason, the thought of going home to an empty apartment suddenly reminded him of a certain person. A young man named Adam Faulkner. He hadn't heard from the young man in many months. Almost a year ago, Lawrence had been kidnapped by a serial killer named Jigsaw. He had been chained to a pipe in a dirty, rancid smelling bathroom with Adam, who had been chained to a pipe across the room from him. Adam was a small man, maybe five feet and seven inches. Which was short, compared to Lawrence, who was six feet and two and a half inches. Adam was very thin, and the only muscle he really had was quite lean, and mostly on his biceps and torso, with a head of unruly dark hair, and pale greenish-gray eyes. Those eyes were large and innocent, doe-like, reminding him of a child's. Everything about Adam reminded him of a child. The way his eyes had been always shining with tears of mostly frustration and fear, but also confusion. The kid had such an attitude. He was an angry, rude, hot-tempered boy who couldn't speak a sentence without cussing. There had been dark bags under his eyes, as if the guy rarely slept, yet his hair was such a mess, as if he was always sleeping but never tidying up. But there had been something about Adam that made Lawrence's heart pang.

"_Don't leave me!" Adam screamed, begged, tears streaming down his face. Blood poured from his shoulder, soaking his white shirt. Lawrence had shot him. He didn't want to kill Adam. He had only meant to stage Adam's death, to make Jigsaw release him so he could save his family. But then, Adam saved Lawrence's life. A man had tried to kill Lawrence. And Adam, who was bleeding horribly from the gunshot wound Lawrence had given him, grabbed the lid to the tank of the toilet and beat the man repeatedly over the head with it, sobbing. He wouldn't stop beating him. Blood was everywhere, splashing all over Adam. Even after the man had died and crumpled to the floor, Adam continued hitting him, unable to stop, until Lawrence had grabbed the boy's arm and yanked him forward. Adam had clutched at his wound, barely able to breathe through his uncontrollable sobbing. _

"_I have to get help. I'll come back for you. I promise," Lawrence had whispered to the boy. Adam shook his head, gasping, and clung to Lawrence._

"_Don't leave me," he begged. And without thinking, Lawrence had kissed Adam's lips. They tasted salty and metallic from tears and blood. Adam didn't pull away, only stared miserably at Lawrence once the kiss was broken. The doctor crawled to the door, blood pouring from the stump at the end of his leg. He'd sawed his own foot off to escape the chains, and reached over as he passed it. He grabbed his abandoned foot and tried not to vomit as he did so. Maybe he could have his foot re-connected._

"_Lawrence! Don't leave me!" Adam had screamed. So pitiful, so terrified. Tears filled Lawrence's blue eyes, but he continued, trying to ignore the kid's screams. _

_After a while, he'd managed to crawl to the front door, where he passed out. When he woke up, he was lying on a hospital bed in the very hospital he worked at. He was warm and woozy; the morphine was in effect. A nurse walked into the room. She looked startled to see his eyes open._

"_Dr. Gordon, how do you feel? You've been unconscious for two days!" she said, hurrying to his bedside, checking his vitals. _

"_I feel fine. How is Adam?" he said. The nurse stared at him, confused. Then she grimaced, finally understanding._

"_Faulkner? They just brought him in today. I'm afraid to say he's not in a very good state. He's in complete shock. He's a wreck, mentally," she replied. Lawrence cringed._

"_He's been stuck in there for two days? Why? What happened?" he asked. The nurse set down her clipboard and sighed._

"_The police came and found you. The paramedics took you away. They didn't know Adam was there. Yesterday, you moaned his name after surgery. The surgeons managed to attach your foot back. It'll take a lot of therapy, but you'll be fine. Anyway, you were talking about him. About how you had to get him, how he was still in the room. So the police went back and found him. It took hours to get the chains off. But he's just arrived. I believe he'll be fine," she said. Lawrence felt awful. Guilt bit deep into his heart. The kid had been in that room for two more days. All alone in that terrible, cold, dirty room, suffering and afraid. He could only imagine how Adam must have felt. How he must've given up hope._

"_May I visit him?" Lawrence asked, licking his lips nervously. The nurse stared at him for a long moment, weighing her options. Finally, she heaved a sigh._

"_Alright, but don't let anyone catch you. I'll give you ten minutes," she said. She helped Lawrence out of his bed, and down the hallway. As the nurse opened Adam's door, Lawrence's stomach filled with nervous butterflies. Would Adam hate him for taking so long? But there wasn't much time to worry before the nurse had opened the door. Adam's head was turned to the side, and his eyes were wide open, focused on the window. He was a sickly, pasty pale, white as chalk. The bags under his eyes were a very dark purple, standing out terribly against the whiteness of his face. He was even thinner than Lawrence last remembered. Adam's jaw was tight; he was gritting his teeth. Those lovely eyes of his were glazed over, his hair sticking up in all directions. _

_The nurse sat Lawrence down at a chair by Adam's bed and then left. Once the door was closed, Lawrence took Adam's hand and gripped it tightly. The kid's hand was frozen and shaking._

"_Adam," Lawrence said softly, brushing the boy's bangs out of his eyes. Slowly, Adam's head rolled to the side, facing Lawrence. For a moment, his eyes studied Lawrence's face, as if struggling to remember who the man was. Finally, Adam licked his lips, his lower lip beginning to quiver, and a few tears trickled down those white cheeks._

"_Hey, man," Adam said, his voice slightly husky from screaming so much in the time he'd been locked in that room._

"_I'm so sorry," Lawrence whispered, brushing the back of his hand against Adam's cheek. Adam sobbed and pressed his hands over his face, not wanting the older man to see him cry. But the boy's body shook with those violent sobs, and Lawrence stood up with trouble. He lifted Adam up into a sitting position and hugged him tightly. Adam buried his head against Lawrence's chest, digging his fingers in between Lawrence's shoulder blades. He clung to the doctor as if letting go would mean death, and Lawrence's heart ached._

"_I'm so, so sorry," Lawrence murmured, rubbing Adam's back._

_After that, Lawrence left his number and address with Adam. And he never saw or heard from him again._

Now, almost a year later, Lawrence walks into his empty apartment on the second floor, tossing his coat onto the floor along with his briefcase. He hadn't thought about Adam in nearly ten months. He wondered where the kid was, what he was doing, and how he was. He supposed he shouldn't refer to him as 'kid'. After all, Adam was twenty five. Lawrence was thirty two. But Adam just acts so damn childish. He _looks_ childish, with that small frame of his. Adam was simply adorable, Lawrence thought. With those large, helpless eyes, that small body…He was adorable. Just by looking at him, Lawrence had wanted to hug him, to stroke his hair and promise safety. He had wanted to protect him. He loved him.

Lawrence shook his head, trying to clear these thoughts. Nonsense, that's what this was. He was simply exhausted from work that was all. He walked into the kitchen, flicking on the lights, and turned the coffee machine on. It was quiet in the house without Diana. Diana was the love of his life. She was a sweet, darling little child. She was so kind and caring, so curious, always asking questions. She was rarely silent. Lawrence smiled at the thought of her. Diana had dark brown curly hair that cascaded to her hips; so different from Lawrence's short, straight blonde hair. She got it from her mother. Her eyes were very large, almond-shaped, the color of rich, milk chocolate. She looked nothing like Lawrence. She was gorgeous, absolutely lovely.

He poured himself a mug of steaming coffee, adding a dash of Half and Half. Lawrence walked into the living room, stepping over Diana's toys, and had just sat down when the telephone rang. He sighed, frustrated, and set down his mug. Rubbing at his temples, feeling an oncoming headache, he glared at the phone. Would he ever acquire the peace and quiet he longed for? After all, he'd been working ever since the break of dawn. Nonetheless, he reached over and grabbed the phone, answering it.

"Doctor Gordon speaking," Lawrence said impassively with an edge of impatience. For a moment, there was no answer. He could hear the rain pouring on the other side of the phone; the person calling was outside. Then he heard a few deep, shuddering breaths.

"Hey, man," the person finally spoke. The voice was quiet, a little husky. Lawrence lurched up, his eyes widening with shock.

"Adam?" he exclaimed with disbelief, his heart skipping a beat.

"No, it's Santa Claus. Ho, ho, ho," Adam mumbled thickly, sarcastic. Lawrence bit his lower lip. Adam didn't sound right.

"Are you drunk?" Lawrence asked. There was silence for a long time, and Lawrence would have thought Adam had hung up if he hadn't heard the rain continuing to pour. Finally, the kid answered.

"I wish. Listen man, I need you to come pick me up," Adam whispered. His voice was shaky and thick, still.

"Of course I will. Where are you?" Lawrence said, immediately throwing his coat on.

"I'm outside your apartment," Adam replied, breathing heavily. Lawrence sighed, relaxing slightly.

"Oh, well then come on in, the door's unlocked," he said. There was a long silence, again.

"I…I c-can't. I can't walk any longer. I…I.." Adam's voice trailed off, and the line cut off. Adam had hung up.

**Thanks for reading! Please review! :)**


	2. Chapter 2: Adam Comes Back

**Disclaimers: I do not own Saw or any characters.**

**Other: Hey! :) I'm back - and so are Lawrence and Adam! So, I left you with a nice cliffhanger. Why couldn't Adam walk any further? Well, this chapter explains why. ^^ But the best part? Adam and Lawrence are reunited! ...For now. ;D Thanks for reading this far, haha.**

Lawrence, frozen, stared in confusion at his phone, which was beeping rapidly, letting him know the connection had been broken. His body took on a numb-like feeling, goosebumps popping up on his arms and neck. He hadn't heard from the boy in almost a year, and suddenly he calls, apparently unable to walk into Lawrence's home. He didn't know what Adam must have meant by not being able to walk any longer. What if this was some cruel joke? But for whatever reason, Lawrence didn't think it was a joke. He tossed the phone onto the couch and hurried to his door, not allowing himself to run. Running would make him seem like he was panicking. And if Adam saw him panicking, and he was only messing with him, Lawrence would feel very stupid. So he rushed outside, not even bothering to shut the door, and went down the stairs two at a time. The elevator would take too long. Once he was outside, the rain was already pouring so hard it was difficult to see well. Lawrence squinted his eyes, searching for Adam. He didn't see him. He stood there in the rain, gazing about, trying to force the feelings of anger and hurt away. He even went as far as to jog out into the rain, looking around. But Adam was nowhere to be seen. Finally, absolutely soaked, he gave up. He wasn't sure why Adam would play such a dirty joke, but he didn't even want to think about the kid. He'd only upset himself further. Instead, he turned around, and began heading back to his apartment with a sigh. Lawrence glimpsed to his right on his way inside.

And there, curled up in a tight ball by a tall bush, was Adam. Lawrence broke into a run in that direction and knelt down by the boy. Adam's eyes were squeezed tightly shut, and blood ran down his face in a thick stream. His mouth and nose were covered in the bright red blood as well, and there were large red stains on his gray cotton shirt. He was shaking. Lawrence scooped him up into his arms and carried him into the apartment. Adam was unbelievably light, Lawrence noted, as he hurried him into the living room. He set Adam down onto the black leather couch and tugged his shirt off, tossing it onto the glass coffee table, where it landed with a wet slap. His jeans soon followed, as well as his socks. His shoes were removed and dropped carelessly onto the floor. Now that Adam was undressed, aside from his boxers, Lawrence moved Adam's lean body into a more comfortable position. He was unconscious; his body had lost all tension, and he looked even younger.

"Alright, let's see what we've got here," the doctor muttered under his breath as he knelt down beside the couch. He examined the damage. There were large, dark bruises all over Adam's pale body. They were fresh, it seemed, so they would get even darker over night. He also had very shallow, minor stab wounds, which Lawrence quickly cleaned and stitched. It was obvious that the person who had done this to him had wanted to afflict pain, not death or serious injury. Adam had a nice gash at his left temple, his lower lip was plump and split, and his nose was bleeding rather heavily. All in all, there were no serious injuries. Lawrence cleaned each scrape, cut, and bruise, as well as his face, for it was caked with blood. Once the wounds were cleaned, he bandaged them securely.

This all took about half an hour, and when he finished he examined his work. He looked at Adam fondly. It was clear that the kid hadn't slept or eaten properly in weeks, perhaps months. There were deep purple bags under his eyes, and he was an almost unhealthy pale, and as thin as he'd last remembered, though he _had _gained a few pounds, five at most. What was also clear was that Adam had done drugs but had cleaned up. There were tiny red puncture marks up Adam's arms where heroin might've been injected, and the soft flesh around Adam's nose and mouth were red, which indicated possible usage of cocaine or pot, maybe both. There were no bumps, however, which definitely meant that he had stopped using drugs. If he hadn't, Adam would've looked a whole lot worse. He felt a little proud for the kid. It wasn't easy getting unhooked. It was hard, painful work.

Adam's body was lean, and the muscle he had weren't acquired by working out. Those were muscles that he had taken on from running for his life many, many times. Which made sense; after all, he had been a druggie at some point, and he was still a freelance photographer, and a voyeur at times, though Lawrence knew he never took sexual pleasure while working as a voyeur. He did what he did for the money and for his passion of photography. It was very dangerous work, because people got angry if they found out they've been being stalked, or when their spouse or whoever hired Adam finds out those dirty secrets they've been keeping and Adam had exposed.

Lawrence felt a sudden urge to hug this worn out boy. He wanted to protect him, to help him feel better. Lawrence pushed the silly, random ideas out of his head and stood up. He started a fire in the fireplace, and then dumped Adam's soaked clothes as well as his own into a hamper. He was cold and wet, and in desperate need of a shower. So for the next twenty minutes, he stood in the shower, allowing the hot water to warm his flesh. Lawrence gazed impassively at the mosaics that layered the walls of the bathroom. It was strange knowing that Adam was asleep in his living room. They'd spent a day chained to a pipe in a dirty, foul-smelling bathroom, with a supposedly dead guy in the center of the bathroom, nearly a year ago. Lawrence had _shot _Adam, who ended up saving his life. Adam had endured a lot in that bathroom. He watched Lawrence cut his own foot off. Lawrence vaguely remembered the intense pain, but he did strongly remember Adam screaming at Lawrence to not do it, that help would come eventually. The boy had collapsed onto the floor, sobbing hysterically as Lawrence ignored his pleads. And, of course, Lawrence could never forget how Adam had so desperately pleaded him not leave him all alone in that dreadful bathroom. The short kiss they had shared before Lawrence abandoned him, leaving the poor kid all by himself in that hell hole for two more days. Lawrence was surprised Adam hadn't been shipped off to a loony bin when he was freed.

The doctor got out of the shower once the water ran cold. He did his nightly rituals; brushing his teeth, shaving, and throwing on a pair of pajamas. When he walked out into the living room to check on Adam, he found the boy still asleep. His young, adorable face was flushed a sort of pink from the heat of the crackling fire, and he looked very comfortable.

_Enjoy it, _Lawrence thought, a faint smile on his lips. He then retired to his bedroom, where he slept on a bare bed, having given his blanket to Adam.

_A cold, sweaty hand caressed his tear-stained cheek, and he shuddered, not daring to open his eyes. _

"_All of your life you had hidden away. You had locked yourself away, avoided others. Now you truly are locked away. And do you even deserve to be let out? If you were to be freed, you would only continue cowering behind the wall you have built around your mind and heart. Would you try to let people in?" purred Jigsaw. Adam cringed as the killer's nails dug into the flesh of his cheek. _

"_Do you honestly believe you deserve to live? Do you? Nobody cares about you. Nobody loves you. What would you be returning to? A trashy apartment and a low-paying, pathetic excuse of a job. There are no special people in your lives; no loved ones, no family, no friends. Tell me, you sweet child, you. Why do you bother living?" Jigsaw removed his hand from Adam's face, only to stroke his hair. Adam's heart was absolutely racing with terror. His trembling body broke out into a sweat._

"_If you're going to kill me, then do it, asshole," Adam snarled, surprised by how steady his voice was. Jigsaw chuckled._

"_Kill you? Why, I don't kill people, Adam. I only sit back and watch the games. If you win, you live. If you lose, well, I suppose you die. But I myself have never actually killed anyone, Adam."_

_Adam shook his head, ducking his head between his knees so that Jigsaw wouldn't see the fresh tears that coursed down his bloody face. _

"_You're insane," Adam said. Jigsaw laughed. It was an unpleasant, scratchy laugh that sent chills down Adam's spine. The laugh was followed by a series of dry coughs. _

"_Am I? Am I really insane? Or am I actually a genius who gives people wake up calls, who helps people achieve a second chance at life? Really, Adam, you must stop being such a shallow minded child. I must be going now. Enjoy yourself," Jigsaw said pleasantly. Adam heard him get up from the bloody, dirty tiled floor. He heard him leave the room, shutting off the lights, closing and locking the door behind him. When Adam opened his eyes, there was complete and utter darkness. There was not an ounce of light; he couldn't even see his hand in front of his own face. Panic and sudden claustrophobia ballooned within Adam, and he curled into an even tighter ball, trying to make his body even smaller, to protect himself and create a false sense of security. He could hear Jigsaw's mocking, horrifying laugh from outside the room, and he let out a dry sob. Lawrence would never come back for him. If he had even survived the crawl to the front door, that is._

Adam's eyes slowly opened. He was warm and comfortable. There was a fire crackling close by, but other than that there was only a pleasant silence. For a good ten minutes, he simply lay there, gazing sleepily at the fire, enjoying the comfort he was in. He hadn't been so warm and comfortable since…It had been way too long; he couldn't even remember the last time he'd felt so…safe. Yes, he definitely felt safe lying here. But, of course, wonderful things never last long. He eventually shifted, and the memories of last night flooded mercilessly back into his mind, along with the memory of his nightmare. His body ached like hell, and he wished he hadn't moved. He groaned quietly, rubbing at his eyes, licking his lips. His lower lip was swollen, and it tasted faintly of blood.

"Good morning. How do you feel?"

Adam flinched violently, startled by the sudden voice of Lawrence. He raised his head. Lawrence was standing about a yard from the couch, wearing formal wear as usual; black formal pants and a baby blue colored silk dress shirt, un-tucked. Lawrence smiled apologetically.

"Like I've been hit by a fucking bus," Adam replied bitterly, scowling. Lawrence nodded.

"Yeah, you look it, too. Bruises cover a good fifty percent of your body. What happened?" the doctor said. Adam stared at him blankly, and then glanced downward at his bare chest, as if just realizing that he was mostly undressed. He blushed, lowering his head.

"You took my clothes?" he asked, bewildered and embarrassed.

"Calm down. I left your boxers on, didn't I? I'm a doctor; I've seen everything before, I doubt you have anything nobody else does. Besides, you can't just sleep in soaked clothes. You'll get sick that way. I cleaned you up and bandaged you," Lawrence explained. He bit his lip to keep back a smile as Adam remained blushing. The younger man shifted on the couch with a wince.

"That's still really weird, though! I mean…you undressed me…while I was _sleeping_. Next I'll find you watching me in the shower," Adam muttered, his fingers playing with the edges of the blanket. It was a nervous habit, Lawrence realized; Adam was incapable of sitting still. He was always fidgeting or moving. Even in the bathroom, the kid had always been pacing or pulling at the chain that connected his ankle to the rusty pipe.

"That wouldn't be so bad," Lawrence commented absent-mindedly, without thinking. Adam looked at him, tilting his head to the side. Now it was Lawrence's turn to blush. He avoided eye contact with Adam, but couldn't help but notice a devilish grin appear on Adam's face.

"Hey. Come here," Adam suddenly said. Lawrence glanced over at Adam. He had lied back down against the pillows on the couch. He looked quite cozy and adorable, which was the only reason why he walked over. When he was right by the couch, he opened his mouth to ask what he needed, but Adam grabbed his arm and pulled him down. Their faces were a mere inch apart, if even. Lawrence gazed calmly at Adam. Why wasn't he afraid or startled? He only felt hope and expectation. Adam slid his free hand up Lawrence's shirt and felt up his warm, firm, muscular torso.

"How is it fair that I am mostly naked, and you are fully clothed, Dr. Gordon?" he murmured, brushing his lips slowly across Lawrence's jaw. His fingers traced every line of muscle on the doctor's chest and moved his hand across his ribcage, to his back. Lawrence closed his eyes half-way, silent. Adam's hands were a little cold and kind of rough, but they felt good. Adam's hand wrapped around the back of Lawrence's neck and pulled him even closer. Their chests were practically touching, and Lawrence thought that Adam was going to kiss him. But no, Adam was still teasing him. He put his lips to the doctor's ear, one hand falling to Lawrence's thigh, very close to his crotch. A spark of heat flashed in Lawrence's stomach and groin; he was turned on.

"You know what I really…really…want…no…need?" Adam whispered, his voice deepened and husky, absolutely dripping with sensuality. Lawrence shivered at the sound of Adam's voice, growing slightly hard.

"Wh-What?" the doctor asked, tripping over his own words. Adam didn't reply for a moment, taking Lawrence's earlobe between his soft, warm lips. The boy smirked at the sight of the beginning of a bulge in Lawrence's pants.

"A beer," Adam replied, releasing Lawrence and grinning widely at him. Lawrence stared at him, shocked, and a little dazed. Realization dawned. Adam had only been messing with him, purposefully turning him on to tease him. Lawrence smacked Adam's shoulder, tense. Adam glowered at him.

"Hey, man! I'm all bruised up over here!" he complained. Lawrence rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen to get them both a beer.

"Good," he called back, and opened the fridge, studying the contents. There wasn't much; a few cans of beer, a jar of pickles, an unopened package of hotdogs, a bottle of ketchup, a bottle of mustard, a jar of jelly, a jug of milk, a carton of orange juice, and a bag of fruit. He grabbed two cans of beer and closed the refrigerator.

He was a little shaken up by what had happened. He was also a little confused and disappointed. Why would Adam do that? And why hadn't he gone further? He realized how hard his heart was pumping. Had he really been turned on by the younger man? A blush crept to his cheeks. Well, according to his cock and heart, he had been. He sighed. Was it so wrong? Lawrence stopped at the corner of the kitchen, pressing the cold can to his forehead, taking a few deep, steadying breaths. Alright, so Lawrence was attracted to a man; a younger, very adorable man. So what? He nodded a few times to himself, and then stepped out of the kitchen and into the living room.

Staring at the couch, he gaped, surprised. No, this was _not _happening. _No way. Not again. _

**Thanks for reading! Please review! :)**


	3. Chapter 3: His Apartment

**Disclaimers: I do not own Saw or any of the characters. Yes, I have included some direct quotes from the movie (they're italicized, and in the form of flashbacks). I do not take credit for them. **

**Other: Good morning! I was rather eager to post the third chapter. I hope you guys are enjoying my story. :) Thank you for reading this far. I promise it'll only get better as I get used to fanfic and writing this. Anyway, I won't hold you back with my rambling. Go ahead, read and enjoy. Don't forget to review! :) Feel free to post suggestions or ideas. **

Lawrence stared at the couch, stunned. _No way. Not again. _Adam wasn't there. The blanket was on the floor in a crumpled heap, and there was no small, lean body lying on the couch. In the two minutes he'd spent in the kitchen, Adam had completely disappeared.

"Adam, this isn't funny," Lawrence called impatiently, setting down the two cans onto the coffee table once he'd walked over. His gaze swept across the room. No answer had come back to him; there was only a heavy silence aside from the soft crackle of the fire. The doctor checked the rest of his apartment. The kid was gone. Finally, he walked into the small atrium that led to the front door of his apartment. The said door was open a crack.

"You infuriating child," Lawrence murmured under his breath. Adam had escaped. He stood there for a full minute, looking at the door before actually shutting it.

"Little Adam, you can't hide from me. You see, I have your cell phone, you fool," he said aloud, going into his bedroom. He opened up the second drawer of his nightstand and pulled out Adam's cell phone. Luckily, the phone had been mostly protected by the bush Adam had been lying near, so it was barely damaged. The screen was a little cloudy, but that was about it. He opened up Adam's contact lists, and scrolled down. There were not a lot of contacts, thank God, and he knew which one to call as soon as he saw it.

**The Bitch (Landlady)**

_Real mature, Adam, _Lawrence thought, rolling his eyes, holding the phone to his ear. He couldn't stand still. For some reason, anxiety ate away at his stomach. So he paced the bedroom while the phone rang. Each second felt like an hour. Six rings later, an elderly, grandmother-like sounding woman answered.

"Adam Faulkner, your rent was due three months ago. I was kind enough to wait this long, because I pity you. But no, I will not wait any longer. You have until tomorrow to pay the rent, or you will have one day to pack your things and leave my apartment." Her voice sounded like she regretted having to say this, and he felt sympathy for the old lady. Adam probably treated her terribly.

"Good morning, ma'am. My name is Dr. Lawrence Gordon, and Mr. Faulkner is a patient of mine. He escaped from my hospital this morning, and left his cell phone behind. I was wondering if you would give me his address so that I may return it. On my way to return his phone, I'll pay his rent, too," Lawrence said politely, adding his last sentence after a moment of thought. It was obvious Adam had no money. And knowing the kid, he'd end up living on the streets because he'd be too stubborn to admit he needed somewhere to live.

"Oh! I apologize, doctor. I am Lucille Norman. That is awfully kind of you to come all this way to return the phone. I understand you're his doctor…But why would you pay his rent?" the woman said. She gave him his address as well, And Lawrence wrote it down into a small notebook.

"Mr. Faulkner and I…have been through a lot together. I owe him that much, let's say," Lawrence replied. He thanked the woman and hung up.

Well, now he had Adam's address. All he had to do was drive on over. It wasn't a long drive; maybe ten minutes at most. He grabbed his checkbook and left the apartment.

Adam was not the most pleasant person to be around. And Lawrence knew that from the very beginning. He was an angry, apathetic _child_. He remembered when Adam had lurched out of the bathtub, choking and gasping. When Adam had finally gotten the water out of his lungs, they had a very small conversation consisting of Lawrence insisting that no, Adam was not dead.

"_What's your name?" Lawrence asked. He felt bad for the kid who had just woken up in a nasty bathtub. From what he saw, the boy looked very small and helpless, like a soaked puppy._

"_My name is Very Fucking Confused, what's your name?" Adam had snapped back. And helplessness went out the window. _

Not only was Adam impatient and irritable, he was also paranoid.

"_Do you see any scars?" Adam suddenly asked, looking over at Lawrence. Lawrence stared at him, a little confused._

"_What?" he asked, not understand what Adam wanted to know._

"_Huh? This is what they do, man! They kidnap and drug you, and before you know it, you're lying in a bathtub and your kidneys are on eBay!" Adam explained, his voice bordering hysteria._

"_No one has taken your kidneys," Lawrence assured, unable to resist grinning. Adam was not soothed._

"_Can you tell from way over there?" Adam asked anxiously._

"_Well, you'd be in terrible agony or you'd be dead by now, trust me," Lawrence said._

"_What are you, a surgeon?" Adam sneered, obviously still afraid. Lawrence chuckled._

"_Actually, yes; I am indeed a surgeon."_

He was also not exactly the brightest bulb on earth.

_Adam pressed play on the tape recorder after sliding his tiny tape inside the box._

"_Rise and shine, Adam. You're probably wondering where you are. I'll tell you where you might be. You might be in the room that you die in. Up until now, you've simply sat in the shadows watching others live out their lives. But what do voyeurs see when they look into the mirror? Now I see you as a strange mix of someone angry, yet apathetic. But mostly just pathetic. So are you going to watch yourself die here today, Adam, or do something about it?" said a dark, chilly voice.  
"I don't get it," Adam said flatly after a moment of silence._

But despite these things, Lawrence still found that he loved him; which was why he was doing what he was; breaking into Adam's apartment.

Adam lowered his sore, aching body onto the couch. He hadn't even been sitting for a minute before Lawrence came into the room. Adam groaned loudly, annoyed.

"Oh, come on in, make yourself at home," he snapped as Lawrence sat down on an armchair beside the couch.

"You should be thanking me. I came all this way to give you your cell phone back. And I paid your rent," Lawrence said calmly, almost pleasantly. Adam blinked, catching his cell phone when Lawrence tossed it to him.

"You…You didn't have to do that, man," he mumbled, not looking at Lawrence. The doctor shrugged. There was a long silence, in which Adam fidgeted nervously and Lawrence looked around the room at ease. He now understood what Adam had meant when he said, once he woke up in the bathtub and had started yanking at the chain, "I went to bed in my shithole apartment and I woke up in an actual shithole," in the bathroom of Jigsaw. The place was an absolute wreck. It was quite obvious Adam didn't care about tidying up after himself. Dirty laundry and trash were everywhere, and he had a pyramid of empty beer cans going on in the far left corner of the living room.

"Do you ever clean up after yourself?" Lawrence commented. Adam crossed his arms over his chest.

"Why are you even here? I left for a reason. Did you honestly think we'd become tight buddies who go drinking every Friday night? Get your head out of the clouds, Lawrence. We aren't friends," Adam snapped. Lawrence looked at him.

"Why not?" he asked. Adam ignored him, tilting his head back to rest against the cushion of the couch.

"Okay…So are you going to tell me what happened last night?" Lawrence asked, after deciding that Adam was not going to answer his last question. There was a brief silence before Adam responded.

"Why should I?" the kid retorted.

"Well, because I brought you into my home, cleaned you up, dried you, bandaged and stitched you up, made you comfortable, and gave you a warm, dry place to sleep," Lawrence replied coolly. Adam shrugged, closing his eyes. Lawrence didn't think he was going to answer. He opened his mouth to ask another question, but Adam suddenly spoke.

"A woman hired me to follow her husband around. She suspected him of having an affair. Well, after stalking him for about six hours, I realized that 'an affair' was a major understatement. He was fucking everyone he could get his hands on. He'd told her that he was going to work. But instead, he went to at least twelve houses and had sex with the people of that house. And they weren't even all just him and a woman. He had fucking _threesomes._ It was disgusting, man. I took pictures of everything, obviously," Adam told Lawrence. He licked his lips, took a deep, shaky breath, and continued.

"Finally, later that afternoon, I was inside the house he'd gone into. I was sitting in the closet, watching him have at it. I don't know what happened. My camera's flash was on, and I didn't realize it. When I took a picture, and the fucking flash went off, they both froze. I would've booked it then, but the guy had locked the bedroom door before getting in bed. I ran to the door, but my fingers had just touched the lock when the guy grabbed me by my shoulders and smashed me against the wall. I can fight. But this guy was at least half a foot if not more taller than me, and he outweighed me by a hundred pounds. Well, more like seventy or eighty, but whatever. The guy just repeatedly smashed me against the wall, shouting at me. After about four hits against the wall, I thought my skull was going to shatter. He threw me to the floor, grabbed a wooden baseball bat from the closet, and beat me with it until I was unable to fight back. He would've killed me. But the chick was freaking out and screaming at him to stop. So he just grabbed me and dragged me outside. I don't remember really how I got to your apartment. I just…started limping. And before I knew it, I couldn't walk any further, and just collapsed by a bush," Adam explained.

His eyes widened suddenly.

"Shit! My camera's still in that closet!" he cried. He let out a long, exasperated groan. Lawrence stared at him.

"Adam, you barely got out with your life, and you're worried about your camera? Look, don't worry about it. You need to take some time off of that job anyway, to recover," the doctor said. Adam glowered at him.

"Thank you, Doctor Fucking Obvious. I'm going to go shower and change into some clothes," he snapped. Lawrence nodded and watched him go into the bathroom.

In the ten minutes it took Adam to shower, brush his teeth, and change, Lawrence had cleaned up the apartment out of pure boredom. He collected all of the clothes off the floor and dumped them into the hamper. The trash was all thrown into a garbage bag, and he made Adam's bed. The apartment smelled stale and less than pleasant, so he went to open the windows. But once he brushed the heavy curtains aside, he realized they were boarded up with heavy duty plywood. He stared at them, confused.

"What're you, my fucking maid?" Adam asked from behind, looking around his cleaner apartment.

"Why are your windows boarded?" Lawrence asked, turning to look at Adam. The boy merely got onto the bed and lay down. His shirt tugged up slightly, exposing a bit of his stomach. He ignored Lawrence. But the doctor was done with being ignored. He decided to figure things out for himself.

"You're afraid of Jigsaw getting in through the windows, aren't you?" he asked softly. Adam froze, his body tensing up immediately. Lawrence nodded, knowing he'd guessed correctly. He moved over to the bed, studying Adam, whose face was flushed. Lawrence felt that urge – again – to hold Adam. But he wanted more than a hug. He wanted to kiss those lips and touch that trembling, small body. He leaned closer to Adam, who gazed up at him curiously.

"What would you do…If I kissed you…again?" Lawrence asked quietly, stroking Adam's cheek. Adam's eyes widened slightly, his breath hitching.

**Hmmm...Will Adam let Lawrence kiss him? :D Looks like you'll have to wait and find out! I hope you liked this chapter! Please review, thank you. :D**


	4. Chapter 4: Diana and Adam Come Home

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters. **

**Other: Good evening, everyone! :) Thank you for reading this far; I hope you guys are enjoying it. **

Adam stared up at Lawrence, his heart racing, heat flaring up in his belly.

"Ah…Um…I…I…"

Lawrence ended his nervous babbling by covering Adam's lips with his own. Adam flinched, his eyes widening in shock. Lawrence thought he was going to push him away, or hit him, but much to Lawrence's surprise and pleasure, Adam only reached up with shaking hands and grasped at Lawrence's neck, timidly tugging him closer. His nervous, almost shy, movements only made Lawrence want him even more. His hand moved under Adam's shirt, startling the boy. Lawrence's warm hand explored Adam's thin, cold torso, tracing over his many scars and bruises, making Adam shiver. Lawrence broke the kiss to fill his lungs with air, and looked down at Adam, who was blushing and avoiding eye contact as he took in shaky breaths. Lawrence ran his fingers through Adam's soft hair, kissing him again. This time, Adam opened his mouth slightly, hesitantly, and Lawrence took the opportunity before Adam changed his mind. Adam's mouth tasted minty as Lawrence's tongue slipped inside. After all, he'd just brushed his teeth. But he could faintly taste the traces of smoke. He had forgotten Adam was a smoker, and was almost startled by the taste. Adam's hands, now under Lawrence's shirt, moved up Lawrence's warm back. His hands were cold and shaking, but Lawrence didn't mind, especially as the kid's fingers massaged his back. The boy curiously felt each muscle on Lawrence's back and chest. Lawrence's body was much more different than his.

Lawrence removed his lips from Adam's, and put his mouth to Adam's neck, earning a pleased gasp from the younger man. He gently bit at the soft flesh, smelling of smoke and a delicious smelling soap. When Lawrence began to kiss Adam again, the boy sat up, sliding away. He was shaking and blushing, and Lawrence saw a large bulge at Adam's pants.

"Th-This is…" Adam mumbled, his lips numb and swollen from kissing. Lawrence smiled.

"Different?" the doctor asked. Adam nodded, staring at the blanket. Lawrence looked at the clock. It was almost noon. Alison would be dropping Diana off in twenty minutes, and Lawrence had to get back to his apartment. He looked up to find Adam watching him, his head tilted to the side slightly. It was cute, seeing him like this, and Lawrence wanted to kiss him again. But he didn't want to overwhelm him.

"I've got to get going. Alison's bringing –" His voice trailed off as Adam's eyes suddenly grew wide, and he looked sick and horrified.

"Adam, what's wrong?" Lawrence asked, concerned. He reached for him, but Adam jerked back.

"You…You're married! And you just kissed me! I…I don't go for that. I don't help people cheat," he said, anger and hurt clouding Adam's flushed face. Lawrence smiled, relieved that it was nothing serious.

"We divorced a month after I got out of the hospital," Lawrence assured him. Adam relaxed slightly, once again fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"Anyway, Alison's bringing Diana over to my apartment in about twenty minutes, so I have to get back. If you need me, you have my number and address. I'll call you later tonight, okay?" Lawrence said. Adam nodded, still not looking at him, and Lawrence left the bedroom. He walked to the door and was about to leave, when all of a sudden Adam called his name. He turned around, and almost immediately Adam was in his arms. The kid buried his head against Lawrence's warm chest, wrapping his arms around Lawrence's waist. Lawrence was surprised, but he held Adam tightly, rubbing his back. Adam's eyes closed, inhaling Lawrence's scent. He didn't really have a special scent, really, he simply smelled like clean, dry laundry. But it was a very soothing smell, and Adam didn't want to move. He felt safe, here in Lawrence's arms.

But, of course, after a long, silent minute or two, Lawrence released Adam. He held the boy's face in his hands gently, looking down at him. Adam's gaze fell to the floor, as if ashamed.

"What's wrong?" Lawrence asked. Adam shook his head.

"Nothing; I just don't like people looking at me so…intensely. As if they're judging me," he mumbled. Lawrence nodded, and turned back to the door.

"I'll call you later tonight," the doctor said, and left. As soon as the door was closed, Adam locked it completely, and then checked all the windows to make sure they were securely boarded and locked.

Now that Lawrence was gone, the apartment held a quiet, lonely feel. Adam sat down on his couch, pulling his knees tightly to his chest, and played with the hem of his shirt, his eyes focused on the floor. His boner was scraping almost painfully against his jeans, and he slowly lowered his legs away from his chest, glancing down at the bulge. Lawrence had turned him on. A man, and not just a man, but an older man; Adam had never been interested in men; never. He'd never even thought about being gay. But no woman had ever given him a feeling like this. He wanted Lawrence to come back. And that was different; Adam was more of a one night stand sort of guy. He didn't like getting close to people. Because people always left you and broke your heart. He didn't have the courage to masturbate to the thought of Lawrence, even though his briefs were damp and sticky with pre-cum. So he hurried to the bathroom, his cock painfully hard and throbbing, and took a very cold shower, forcing Lawrence out of his mind.

"Hey, baby!" Lawrence exclaimed, pulling Diana up and hugging her. He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"Hi, daddy!" Diana cried, giggling. He set her down and exchanged good-byes with his wife, shutting the door quick enough to almost be considered rude, and locked the door. Diana wandered into the living room and looked at the blanket. She then looked up at her father.

"Daddy, did you sleep on the couch last night?" she asked, hopping up. She noticed spots of blood all over the carpet and couch, and fear filled her eyes. Lawrence hurried over and scooped her up.

"Daddy, were you hurt?" she asked. Lawrence shook his head.

"No, no, baby, I'm perfectly alright. A…friend…of mine was hurt, so I let him sleep on the couch," he said. He wasn't sure what to call Adam, exactly. Not that he'd really explain to his seven year old daughter about his love for a younger man. Diana nodded, understanding. Lawrence set her back down and turned on the television for her. Spongebob was on, much to Diana's delight. He sat down beside her on the couch, and she snuggled against him. He couldn't get his mind off of Adam, even as he watched the bright yellow sponge race across The Krusty Krab, laughing that insanely annoying laugh.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Night came, and Lawrence had just finished reading Diana a story. She was tucked under the covers of her bed in the room he'd reserved for her. It was a pink theme, because she loved pink, and the room was filled with toys, books, and everything else a little girl could want. He spoiled her, he knew, but Diana never took it to her head; she was too sweet.

"Daddy, can I play with my doll for a few more minutes? Please? Pretty please, with rainbow sprinkles and a cherry on top?" she begged. Her mother had gotten her a baby doll, and it was currently Diana's favorite toy. She brought it everywhere. When they went places, she would put the baby doll in its carriage and wheel it around. People found this adorable, and so did Lawrence.

"Alright; I have to make a phone call, anyway. But when I hang up, I'm turning your lights off and you have to sleep, alright?" he said. Diana grinned widely and nodded, hopping out of bed and racing to her baby doll's crib.

Lawrence left the room, leaving her door open. He sat down on the couch in the living room and dialed Adam's number. The phone rang and rang, but he didn't answer. Lawrence frowned. He called three more times, once every twenty minutes. But Adam still didn't pick up. Now Lawrence was very worried. He went to Diana's room, and she looked up from holding a toy bottle to her baby doll's mouth.

"Honey, we've got to go to my friend's apartment. Remember I told you about him? The young man who was chained in the bathroom with me last year? He was the same man who slept on the couch. I have to go check on him, okay? Let's go," he said hurriedly, picking up his daughter, who clutched her baby doll tightly.

"Okay, daddy," she said. Like Adam, she was small for her age. She was about the size of five year old. He carried her out to his car, buckling her into the backseat, and sat down behind the wheel. The only reason why he'd carried her was because she was quite absent-minded sometimes, and walked a little slow. He was in a rush. Lawrence started the car and sped off in the direction of Adam's apartment.

When they got there, Lawrence found the front door locked. Diana stared up at her father, concerned and curious. Her daddy looked afraid and worried, and she wanted to know why. But she kept silent, knowing that he was busy. Instead, she cradled her doll and quietly, softly sang a lullaby to it.

"Adam," Lawrence called. Father and daughter stood there silently for a few minutes, waiting to hear Adam walking to the door. But there was only silence. So Lawrence grabbed Diana and ran her down to the landlady's room. He called out for her until she came out. She was a short woman, with her gray hair bunched up in curlers, and she wore a long flannel nightgown. She smiled at Diana, who smiled back.

"Ma'am, I need the key to Adam's apartment. I think something's wrong, and I need to get inside. Hurry," he said. The old lady nodded and scurried away. When she came back, she gave him the key, and Lawrence once again grabbed Diana's arm and ran her up to Adam's apartment. He fit the key into the lock and turned. The door clicked – it was now unlocked. He grinned, triumphant, and swung the door open. Well, he tried to. But there was a chain higher up that held the door semi-locked. He cursed. Then had an idea.

"Diana, slip your arm through the crack and unchain the bolt," he said, picking her up. Diana nodded, and squeezed her thin arm through the opening of the door. She tugged at the chain, working at it for a few minutes, and then the door opened all the way.

"Thank you, Diana, that was perfect," he said. The little girl smiled sleepily at her father, and they entered the room quietly. Every single light was on. There was no sign of a disturbance, much to Lawrence's relief. They explored the apartment silently, checking for Adam, turning off lights as they went. The bedroom door was closed, and locked. So Lawrence reached up and felt along the ridge on top of the door until his fingers brushed cold metal – a key. He took it and unlocked the door, quietly opening the door. All of these lights were on as well, and he also had four nightlights on. Adam was curled up in a tight ball, his head ducked in between his knees. He was asleep, but fitfully so. Lawrence sighed, relieved that he was alright. Diana looked up at her father after curiously studying the sleeping man.

"Daddy, is he okay?" she asked, pointing. Adam was trembling. Sweat trickled down his face. He was having a nightmare, presumably. Lawrence nodded. He didn't want to wake him up, but at the same time, he did. If he woke him up, Adam would be shocked, angry, and afraid that Lawrence had broken into his apartment so easily. If Lawrence could do it, why not Jigsaw? But if he didn't, Adam would have to suffer through a nightmare. Lawrence decided he'd get over the nightmare in the morning, but he wouldn't get over the fact that Lawrence had been perfectly capable of breaking in. So he nodded to his daughter.

"Yes, he's fine. Let's shut off his lights so he can sleep," he whispered. He flicked off the lights and turned away with Diana. Suddenly, Adam started screaming. His terrified screams echoed in the room, and both Lawrence and Diana jumped, startled badly. Diana looked up at her father with wide, frightened eyes. Lawrence turned on the bedroom lights and looked at Adam, who was now sitting up completely straight, tears in his eyes.

"Wh-Why did you t-turn the lights off?" Adam asked, the tears falling and coursing down his face. He buried his face into his knees. Lawrence walked over and pulled Adam into his arms, hugging him tightly.

"I'm sorry, Adam," he murmured, stroking the young man's back. Adam clung to Lawrence. The boy's body was slick with sweat, but Lawrence didn't pull away. Diana crawled onto the bed and put her hand on Adam's knee. He didn't raise his head from Lawrence' shoulder, but he tensed a little.

"It's alright," Lawrence said softly. Diana watched Adam, finding it strange that an adult man was crying.

"Are you afraid of the dark?" she asked, fascinated. Adam hesitated, and then nodded. Diana smiled brightly.

"Well, you shouldn't be. My mom and daddy told me there's no such thing as monsters. Are you afraid of a monster?" she said. Adam's fingers dug deeper in between Lawrence's shoulder blades, and a quiet sob escaped from the boy. He nodded again. Lawrence continued rubbing Adam's back, pressing a kiss on top of Adam's head.

"I'll show you there's no monster," Diana said. She looked under the bed and in the closet. She also looked behind the curtains and under the dresser.

"No monsters here!" she exclaimed when she was done. Lawrence stood up, holding Adam, who wrapped his legs around Lawrence's hips, burying his face once again into Lawrence's shoulder.

"Diana, let's go. Adam's going to spend the night with us," he said to his daughter, who nodded. They left the apartment, locking the door behind them. Lawrence helped Adam and Diana into the car, and drove back to his own apartment. Adam was silent the entire drive home, staring out the window. Diana chattered the whole time, and Lawrence smiled at them. When they got home, Diana ran into the apartment and into her bedroom, where she tucked her baby doll into its crib. Lawrence grinned at Adam.

"There's no such thing as monsters, love," Lawrence said playfully. Adam glowered at him.

"Fuck you," he said, sitting down onto the couch. He lit up a cigarette and smoked it. Lawrence understood; Adam was embarrassed about the way he'd reacted. The doctor sat down next to Adam, who had his knees tucked up to his chest again.

"So you're afraid of the dark," Lawrence mused. Adam tensed up.

"You would be, too, if you were locked in a room for two days without a single fucking ounce of light," he snarled. Lawrence nodded in agreement, and Adam went back to smoking moodily. His dignity was cracked from having a seven year old girl attempt to assuage his fear of the dark.

"Would you like to sleep in my bed or on the couch?" Lawrence asked. Adam blinked, licked his lips, and then looked at the floor, a slight blush creeping up his neck.

"The couch," Adam mumbled after a moment, as if it were the most obvious answer in the world. Lawrence nodded and picked the blanket up off the floor, putting it onto the edge of the couch.

"Alright, well, the pillows and blankets are still here from last night. I'll leave the lights on," Lawrence said. Adam remained silent, his eyes looking haunted. The doctor felt a pang of sorrow in his heart, but he didn't say anything. Adam just wanted to be left alone, apparently. So instead Lawrence tucked his daughter into bed before retiring to his own bedroom. He closed his eyes and drifted off to sleep.

It seemed like moments, but when he looked at the digital clock by his bed, he saw it had actually been hours since he'd fallen asleep. A light weight had been added to the bed, and someone was crawling across the mattress towards him.

"Diana, did you have a nightmare?" Lawrence asked sleepily, rolling over.

"No, but I did," Adam replied. Lawrence opened his eyes and found the younger man sitting beside him. As usual, he was fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"Lie down, kid," Lawrence said. Adam obeyed. He smelled of smoke, and though Lawrence normally loathed that scent, it was different with Adam. It suited him, in a way. Lawrence wrapped his strong arm around Adam's waist and easily dragged him closer, until Adam's back was pressed up against Lawrence's torso. Lawrence ran his fingers slowly through Adam's hair until he heard the boy's breathing even out. He'd fallen asleep. The doctor smiled, and soon afterwards, he was asleep as well.

**Thank you for reading! Please review. :)**


	5. Chapter 5: A Bad Day

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters, unfortunately.**

**Other: Hey! Finally, it's Friday. A weekend full of fanfic. :D Anyway, I'm sorry for taking so long to update chapter five. It's also the shortest chapter so far. I felt that Lawrence had to be grumpy for once. Everyone has one of those days, and Lawrence is no exception. So both characters had their change for this chapter. For those of you who have been waiting...The next chapter will be quite smutty in a way. ;D Enjoy reading this short chapter. I promise the next chapter will be better. :) **

As the weeks went by, Adam began taking down the wall that he'd built ever so carefully around his heart. He didn't sulk and smoke as often as he did at first. He was more prone to following Lawrence around and talking. He never talked about what happened last year, or about family. Just random things, like videos he'd watched on the computer, photos he'd taken. Simple subjects like those. When he wasn't talking to Lawrence, he was using the very expensive and extravagant camera Lawrence had bought him. That camera was like a part of Adam. Just like Diana with her baby doll, Adam always had the camera with him. He didn't live with Lawrence, and they hadn't made any physical contact since the time Adam had slept in Lawrence's bed after having a gruesome nightmare three weeks ago. Sometimes Lawrence would brush Adam's hair out of his face, but that was as far as it ever went. They didn't discuss their relationship. They were friends, for now. Life was getting better. Adam was recovering bit by bit.

One afternoon, Lawrence came home early. He simply said that they didn't really need him today. But he seemed very stressed out. Adam followed him everywhere he went, talking non-stop. Not only was he talking so much, but he talked so fast. It was starting to bother Lawrence. Normally, Lawrence enjoyed the times when Adam spoke to him. He didn't mind the way he spoke, as long as he was talking, Lawrence was happy. But not today; he'd had a terrible day, his paper work was piling up faster than he could fill them out, and a patient hadn't survived a surgery. He wasn't in the mood for Adam's ramblings. He was hoping that by being silent, Adam would get the hint and leave.

But Adam was in a very good mood. He'd taken plenty of gorgeous photos, and was waving the developed photos in Lawrence's face. The smell of drying chemicals only made Lawrence's headache worse.

"And look how awesome they turned out! I mean, it's so bright and windy outside, so I didn't think my photos would turn out right, you know? But they came out perfect! Look at this one. It's that one oak tree in Central Park. Look how beautiful the details are! You can see every hint of shadow. The leaves are everywhere, and –"

Lawrence interrupted Adam much harsher than he'd intended.

"Would you stop pushing those things in my face, kid? I don't care!" he snapped, shoving Adam away from him. He'd forgotten how light the kid was; the boy actually fell backward onto his ass. Adam looked up at the doctor, startled, confused, and hurt. He licked his lips and looked down at the photos, which Lawrence hadn't even glanced at.

"Oh, uh, yeah, of course, I mean, they're just photos. Nothing important, you know? I'll just…I'll just go, um, you know, label them, or something," Adam mumbled. He clumsily got up and backed away from Lawrence, gazing down at his photos.

Adam disappeared into Lawrence's home office, the door clicking shut softly behind him. Lawrence stared at the door, shame and horror suddenly flooding him. What had he done? The kid was finally opening up to him, and Lawrence just pushed him away, quite literally. He knew it was hard for Adam to act happy. He was traumatized for life, the kid. He couldn't sleep without the lights on, he always checked the closets before going to bed, and he never slept peacefully. He always woke up after only a few hours of sleep, and he regularly had night terrors. Not only that, but Adam was prone to panic attacks. Lawrence took three aspirins and washed them down with a glass of cold water. He could hear Adam messing with drawers in the office, searching for a sharpie or some other writing utensil. After a few minutes, the shuffling stopped, and the radio in the home office clicked on. Hard rock, or maybe heavy metal (Adam had once explained the difference to Lawrence, but the doctor had completely forgotten. Not that he honestly cared – they were both loud and annoying genres of music.) was heard. It wasn't being blared, thank God.

Lawrence rested on the couch. He decided to tackle his problems one by one and organize them away into the file bins of his mind. This procedure normally lessened the stress and confusion. Problem number one: His paperwork was absolutely towering in his office at the hospital. There were three stacks of them. Lawrence never had an issue with paperwork. But ever since Adam came into his life again, Lawrence had taken many days off or left early to check on Adam and make sure he was taking care of himself. So, because of this, the paperwork had piled up. Solution: He would simply take home half a stack a day, and finish them periodically; taking rests in between each sheet to avoid stress.

Problem number two: A patient had died. There was nothing he could do about that. He had done the absolute best that he could do. But brain tumors are complicated, and there was only a twenty percent chance of the woman actually surviving the surgery. People die. He was a doctor; he should know better than to sulk about death. He just wouldn't allow himself to mope.

Problem number three: Alison wasn't giving Diana to him on the days she was supposed to. If Alison wanted to take Diana to Alison's mother's house on Saturday, which was when Lawrence was supposed to receive her, she would simply take Diana. No phone call, no nothing. It angered Lawrence greatly. Solution: He would call Alison and talk it out. If she continued doing this, he would talk to his lawyer. It wasn't fair of Alison to keep Diana on Lawrence's days.

Problem number four: Lawrence had a headache. Well, he _had. _He'd taken the aspirin, and already the headache was barely noticeable.

Lawrence felt so much better now. His stress was now under control, and he felt more relaxed. He decided he'd go take a hot bath to completely erase the stress that remained before apologizing to Adam. Maybe they could go out to dinner. The doctor walked down the hallway, but noticed with unease that something was different. He couldn't really figure it out, but there was just something that had changed.

_Oh, well. _Lawrence thought, going into the bathroom. He stripped his clothes off, plugging the drain of the bath tub, and turned the hot water faucet. After a good while, the tub was full, and he twisted the faucet 'off' before lowering his body into the bathtub. The hot water swallowed his body, and he sighed, closed his eyes, and scrubbed at his tan flesh with a bar of _Dove _soap. Long curls of steam floated lazily into the air, and he watched them through half-closed lids, massaging shampoo into his blonde hair. Just as he ducked his head under the water to rinse the shampoo out, realization washed over him, and he shot up. Water splashed everywhere as he strained to hear the music that Adam had been playing. But there was nothing. Only silence. And that was _not _normal. He leaped out of the tub, nearly slipping on the huge puddle on the tile floor, and grabbed his bathrobe, throwing it on.

Any other person would've been bewildered by Lawrence's behavior. Yeah, so Adam turned the music off, who cares? No. That was wrong. Adam hated silence. He was always playing music, or listening to his iPod that Lawrence had bought him. And if it wasn't music, the TV was on, or he'd sit in a room where people were talking. He rarely spoke himself at these times; like at the dinner table, for example. He'd sit there and silently listen to Diana and Lawrence's conversation. Something was wrong if Adam wasn't playing music.

Lawrence burst into his home office, his gaze sweeping the room, until it landed on Adam. The kid was lying on the floor, the radio only a few feet away, having been ripped out of the wall. He was curled up into a very tight, secure ball, his arms wrapped so tightly around his knees that the muscles in his biceps were jumping, his knuckles white, his head buried into his knees. He was breathing so fast and shallow that Lawrence briefly wondered if he was having an asthma attack. His flesh gleamed with sweat, and his whole body shook badly, blood streaming from his nose, tears trickling down his sweaty cheeks. Lawrence rushed over to the small, quaking body, and knelt down trying to unfold Adam's body. But he wouldn't budge.

"Adam," Lawrence said, brushing the back of his palm across Adam's forehead. The kid jerked violently as Lawrence pressed his hand to Adam's chest. The doctor could feel Adam's heart racing unbelievably fast. For a moment, he didn't know what was wrong, and was considering calling for an ambulance. Then it struck him; Adam was having a panic attack. Adam had only had a panic attack one other time near Lawrence, but it was very small compared to this. The kid had simply started shivering and hyperventilating, insisting that he couldn't breathe. He had then crumpled to the floor, sobbing hysterically, crying that he was going to die. It was scary, but not as terrifying as this.

Lawrence grabbed Adam, who still wouldn't uncurl, and held him tightly in his arms.

"You're alright, Adam, you're okay. I'm here, I've got you, and everything's going to be just fine. Relax, love; I've got you," he murmured softly into Adam's ear, running his fingers through Adam's damp hair. The kid didn't respond in any sort of way; he simply continued making those strangled, gasping breaths. Lawrence moved his hand under Adam's shirt and stroked his sweaty back.

"Calm down. Relax each muscle one by one, and control your breathing. Focus your breathing. You're not going anywhere, and nobody's going to hurt you. You aren't going crazy. I'm going to sit here with you until I know you're alright," the doctor said softly but firmly. Adam jerked his head. It might've been a nod, but Lawrence couldn't tell.

After ten minutes of stroking Adam's sweaty, shivering body and calmly telling him what to do, Adam's breathing slowly started evening out. And after twenty minutes, Adam's shivering was dulled to a tremble – a normal 'after-shock'. The kid lost all tension in his body and lay weakly in Lawrence's arms, uncurling his body from the painfully tense position it had been in. Adam was silent, simply trembling and sweating, and then finally sobbed. Lawrence shifted Adam so that the kid's head was resting against Lawrence's shoulder. Adam was too weak from the panic attack to do anything but just sit in Lawrence's lap and cry himself to sleep. Panic attacks were very frightening and exhausting, Lawrence knew, and carried him to his bed. He laid the kid out on the bed and then left the room.

Lawrence walked into the bathroom, grabbed a towel, and then went back to his bedroom, where he dried the sweat from Adam's arms, neck, and face.

He was worried, of course. He hadn't known how long Adam would suffer through the attack. Well, considering the fact that Lawrence held him for about half an hour, and he had been in the bath, wondering what was different, for fifteen minutes, Adam had been having the attack for at least forty five minutes. Panic attacks could last for hours.

The doctor stretched out on the bed beside Adam and stared up at the ceiling, a new thought popping up in his head. He loved Adam…a lot. The problem was convincing the kid.

**Thank you so much for reading. Please review. :)**


	6. Chapter 6: Feelings are Developing

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Good morning, everyone! :) Here's the sixth chapter. I did include a /little/ smut. It's simple, but only because it's supposed to be just a taste of the real thing. ;D It's pretty much to make you want more of Lawrence and Adam, and to soothe your wants for a while. Trust me, there will definitely be some hot, serious smut soon, so be patient. xD Anyway, I've been told that this chapter was adorable, so hopefully you guys will agree. I'm not going to continue rambling, haha. Go ahead and read the chapter and enjoy it. I'll have the next one up sometime today, most definitely. Thanks for reading this far!**

Adam slept until the next morning. When the disheveled boy came trudging into the kitchen, his half-closed eyes glancing blearily around the room, his dark hair sticking up crazily in the back, Lawrence couldn't help but feel a little aroused. The fact that Adam could look adorable and sexy at the same time from simply rolling out of bed after sleeping for at least eighteen hours was amazing. Adam noticed the doctor watching him, and he stopped walking, rubbing the heels of his palms against his eyes.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" the kid mumbled. He stretched and yawned, his tee-shirt tugging up and revealing a smooth stomach. Lawrence's fingers itched to touch that skin, to feel his sinewy torso. Sure, Adam was a thin, small guy, but he had his muscles; he really did have a lithe yet sinewy body. It was difficult to describe the guy's body.

"No reason. How do you feel?" Lawrence replied, scooping the bacon and eggs out of the frying pan and onto a plate. He suddenly felt a warm pressure against his back. Adam's head rested between Lawrence's shoulder blades, his arms slowly wrapping around Lawrence's waist. The doctor didn't move or speak.

"I'm sorry for bothering you yesterday," Adam said quietly, his throat rumbling against Lawrence's back as he spoke. Lawrence blinked, startled.

"No, no, Adam. _I'm _sorry. I was in a horrid mood, and I took it out on you. I didn't mean what I said at all. I love your pictures, and I'd really like to take a look at them after breakfast, if it's alright with you," he insisted. Adam nodded, closing his eyes, absorbing Lawrence's body heat. He didn't reply. The two were silent; Adam embracing Lawrence from behind, and Lawrence struggling to think of what he was supposed to say or do. But before anything came to mind, the kid had released him and had taken the plate of food, wandering off to sit at the table. Well, slump more like it. Adam set the plate down on the table and collapsed into the chair, looking so exhausted that it was hard to believe he'd been sleeping for more than eighteen hours.

Lawrence joined him at the table, silently eating his breakfast, occasionally looking over at Adam, who slowly picked at his food, taking small bites. Adam wasn't a breakfast person, Lawrence knew.

"How did you sleep last night?" Lawrence asked, finishing his food quickly. Adam had his elbows propped up on the table, his face buried into his hands.

"Okay," Adam replied dully. He'd had nightmares all night, Lawrence guessed. Suddenly, Adam jerked, knocking his orange juice over. The juice spilled everywhere, and the glass exploded on the hardwood floor. Lawrence and Adam stood up at the exact same time.

"Adam?" Lawrence asked, concerned. Adam's nose crinkled.

"What's that fucking smell?" the boy demanded. Lawrence inhaled deeply through his nose.

"I don't smell…Oh, _Jesus Christ_," Lawrence said, pressing his hands to his mouth and nose, disgusted. A horrible, putrid, bitter smell filled the apartment. He felt like he was going to throw up. Adam stormed over to the door and flung it open. An elderly gentleman stood a few feet away, smoking a huge, fat cigar. He looked over at Adam.

"Dude, do you fucking mind?" Adam snapped. The old man shook his head.

"Not at all, kid," the man said with a chuckle, strolling down the hallway. Lawrence shut the door quickly before Adam could flip out. He chained the door locked. Adam's face was red with anger.

"He called me _kid_," Adam said angrily. Lawrence turned away so that Adam wouldn't see that he was grinning widely. He walked over to the table and bent down, picking up pieces of broken glass.

"Yes, well, you called him _dude_," Lawrence replied, searching for any more pieces of glass. He didn't want Adam or Diana to randomly step on a piece. Not that Diana was even there. It was only Wednesday.

"So? It's not like I called him an old geezer," Adam grumbled, shuffling into the bathroom. While Adam showered, brushed his teeth, and put on deodorant, Lawrence mopped up the orange juice. It was amazing how far a liquid could spread. He made a mental note to never give Adam a glass again. From now on, he would receive plastic.

Adam came out of the bathroom twenty minutes later, smelling fresh and dressed in a gray hoodie and a pair of dark-washed jeans. He walked barefoot into the living room and flopped down on the couch. Lawrence took this opportunity to join him on the couch. For once, Adam didn't smell like smoke. The kid – er, young man – looked up at Lawrence.

"I'm going out today," Adam said nonchalantly, his eyes searching Lawrence's face. The doctor smiled faintly.

"Where will you be going?" Lawrence asked, curious. Adam's gaze moved to the ceiling.

"Oh, I dunno. I just need to get out, you know?" he replied. Lawrence nodded. He would've loved to ask Adam if he could join him, but he had work tonight; which was why he was glad that Adam was going out tonight; he wouldn't be lonely at Lawrence's apartment.

"Yeah, I understand. I'm going to be working late tonight, anyway," Lawrence said. The two men spoke for at least an hour before Adam got up and declared that he was leaving. Lawrence smiled and said goodbye, watching as the young man slipped out of the apartment. The door shut quietly behind him.

It was too quiet now. Uncomfortably silent, actually. No music was playing from the home office, the TV wasn't on, and Adam wasn't grumbling about how he wished he could smoke in the apartment. Lawrence turned on the TV, just to break the God awful silence. Adam hadn't been gone for five minutes, and already Lawrence missed him.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

As night fell, Adam found himself sitting up in a tree, gazing in through a window of a huge house, his camera in hands. He felt a little adrenaline rush; it was dangerous work, spying on people. He was nervous, especially after the beating he'd received about a month ago. He paused. Had it really been a month since he'd been associating with Lawrence? It seemed like it had only been days. Adam hadn't been living with Lawrence; though he may as well have been. After all, he spent about five days out of seven at Lawrence's apartment.

Adam leaned forward, forcing his mind off of Lawrence. He had to focus. The old man advanced upon the rather young girl. It was disturbing, the huge age difference between the two. The man had to be about sixty five, and the girl was about twenty, at best. He shuddered. The girl seemed to actually be enjoying herself. She touched his face affectionately.

The age gap between him and Lawrence wasn't large, really. Only a seven year difference and Lawrence was extremely attractive. Adam thought of those gorgeous blue eyes, the way he always looked at Adam with such care and patience. He smiled at the memory of hugging Lawrence this morning. Lawrence was always warm and fresh smelling, like clean, dry laundry fluttering in a spring breeze, hanging on a clothesline. It was a weird simile, Adam knew, but that's just how it was. Lawrence just had a crisp, clean smell that made Adam smile and feel safe.

Adam shook his head. Focus. He watched as the old man and young girl kissed passionately, his hands knotting into her hair. She lowered him onto the bed, and he took plenty of pictures as they had sex. It made him want to vomit, really. All of a sudden, just as they were finishing up, Adam lost his balance. He cried out without thinking, startled, and fell from the tree. He must've fallen at least twenty feet, hitting the ground hard. He was knocked out for a moment or two. Long enough for the old man to race outside.

Adam staggered clumsily up, saw the man holding a long carving knife, and ran. The old man chased him. And _damn_, he was fast for an old geezer. But Adam was a whole lot faster. He ran as if he had never smoked a single cigarette in his entire life. It was incredible and unbelievable that a guy like Adam could run so fast. The old man definitely couldn't keep up. Instead, he simply threw the knife at Adam. Luckily, it missed him, and he ran all the way home.

He reached his apartment, drenched in sweat from running so hard and long. He took ragged breaths and collapsed to the floor.

"Maybe I _should _ease up on the cigs," Adam muttered to himself, inspecting his body for damage. He'd twisted his ankle badly while running, and he'd pulled a few muscles in his back and shoulders. There was an uncomfortable ache in his neck. But there were no bad wounds. He then checked his camera. His face had broken the camera's fall. Sure, he'd have a nasty black eye tomorrow, but at least the camera was perfectly unharmed.

He fell asleep on the floor, cradling the camera to his chest.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

_Adam found himself lying across Lawrence's soft bed. The sheets were cool against Adam's naked body, and it felt good. He looked up at Lawrence a little hesitantly. He wasn't sure if this was what he wanted. But Lawrence only smiled at him, caressing his cheek._

_"It's okay, Adam," he murmured, as if reading Adam's mind. "I can wait."_

_Adam licked his lips, looking at Lawrence's nude body. He had a perfectly toned and muscular body. He imagined that gorgeous man stroking his back, kissing him with those lips, and flushed, turned on._

_"No…No, I want you," he whispered, a little embarrassed. Lawrence kissed him deeply, and Adam made a small sound of pleasure, opening his mouth. He ran his fingers through Lawrence's soft, blonde hair, then down his spine. The man shivered, smiling against Adam's mouth. He lowered his lips to Adam's neck, biting at the flesh there. He licked where he had bitten, as if soothing it, and then sucked at the reddening flesh. _

_Adam swallowed a moan, his hands pressing against Lawrence's warm back. Lawrence moved down to Adam's chest, taking Adam's nipple between his teeth. Adam gasped, arching his back a little, growing hard almost instantly. Lawrence licked at it, his eyes sparkling almost mischievously. He moved onto the next one, earning a pleased sound from Adam. He kissed Adam's lips again, his tongue finding its way into Adam's mouth. There was no specific taste in this kiss like there had been for their first kiss, but it was still a wonderful kiss. Lawrence was a passionate, strong kisser. He knew exactly how to make Adam feel amazing. Lawrence straddled Adam, brushing his lips across Adam's jaw, and grinded his erection against Adam's, looking down at Adam. Adam groaned, thrusting his hips upward, but Lawrence pressed them back down. _

_"Lawrence…" Adam mumbled, barely able to speak. His mind was racing and he was so hard it was painful. _

_"Not yet," Lawrence replied, pressing another kiss to Adam's numb lips. He made a trail of those electrifying kisses down Adam's torso, down to his crotch. He licked at Adam's inner thigh, messing with the soft, hot flesh there before taking Adam's cock into his mouth. Adam felt an explosion of heat in his groin and the bitter taste of pre-cum entered Lawrence's mouth. But that didn't stop Lawrence. He took it deep into his mouth, humming, and Adam gripped at the sheets, cursing and moaning. _

_"Lawrence…dammit…please," he begged breathlessly. Lawrence only shook his head, and sucked at the head. Adam shook all over, overwhelmed by emotions, his bones and muscle turning to jelly. He was going to come, and he knew it. One more explosion of heat, and then…_

Adam woke up, his boxers sticky and wet. He was trembling, and wiped sweat from his face. Had he really just had a wet dream about Lawrence? He showered quickly, changing into a gray cotton T-shirt and a pair of black jeans. The dream had been intense…He felt a little aroused just thinking about it. If Lawrence was that amazing in his _dreams_, how about in reality? Adam blushed at the idea, more than just 'a little' aroused at that thought.

Adam looked at his reflection with a wince. He had the sickest black eye he'd ever seen – left eye – and it was hard to keep it open for long. There was a long, red, angry scratch along his right cheek, and his body ached horribly.

He picked up his camera, throwing the strap around his neck, and then took his iPod, limping terribly out of his shitty apartment. Adam was going to go visit Lawrence. Why? He just wanted to be with the older man. The very thought of Lawrence's name made Adam feel warm.

When he got to Lawrence's apartment fifteen minutes later, he knocked on the door, tapping his uninjured foot to the beat of the song he was listening to. The door swung open, and Lawrence stood there, a happy smile on his face, which then faltered to a look of concern. Adam threw himself at the man, burying his face against his chest, inhaling his scent and ignoring the stabbing pain he received when his bruised eye hit Lawrence's muscular chest. Lawrence's arms were automatically around him, hugging him tightly, securely.

"Welcome back," Lawrence murmured into Adam's hair, careful to avoid crushing Adam's camera. Adam nodded, closing his eyes, glad that Lawrence wasn't raining him with questions.

"Mhm." Adam made a content sound, a faint smile on his lips.

Oh, it was _so _good to be here in Lawrence's arms.

_I think I love him, _Adam thought, pressing his body closer to Lawrence's.

**Thanks for reading~I hope you liked it. Please review! :)**


	7. Chapter 7: Lawrence's Love

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Good afternoon, everyone! Here's chapter seven. Adam's a scaredy-cat when it comes to pain. Yes, he's been shot in the shoulder, but he will still freak out when he has to have a cut cleaned. xD That's just Adam. Apparently, Diana was adored by a few people when I first introduced her into my fanfic, so I brought her back. :) In this chapter, there are a few "AWWWW" moments, so enjoy them. x3 Lawrence talks about his own childhood and family. Will Adam ever speak up about his family? Maybe. BUT, you will learn why he curls up so much. In the next chapter, of course. XD I won't spoil anything else. Go on and read and enjoy! :D Thanks for reading this far! **

"What happened?" Lawrence asked. The two men were sitting on the couch. Adam was in his usual curled up position, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, and Lawrence was sitting casually beside him, though they were both turned and facing each other.

"I was going to get a few drinks. And as I'm rounding a corner, some guy carrying a huge wooden crate comes around the corner at the same time. The side of the box hit me in the face," Adam lied quietly, gazing at the carpet. Lawrence reached out and trailed his index finger along Adam's cut, causing Adam to flinch.

"Did you clean this?" Lawrence asked. Adam shook his head, so Lawrence got up and went into the bathroom. He rummaged through the medicine cabinet until he found the brown bottle of peroxide. It wasn't going to be the most pleasant experience, but it had to be done. The doctor sat back down on the couch and put his hand around Adam's neck, gently tugging him closer. He noticed the slight blush that crept up Adam's face, but didn't say anything.

"Is this going to hurt?" Adam asked uneasily, biting at his lower lip. Lawrence spilled some peroxide onto a rag and set the bottle onto the coffee table. He grimaced.

"Sorry, Adam," Lawrence said, pressing the rag to Adam's cut. Adam yelped, shoving Lawrence's hand away.

"What the fuck _is _that shit?" Adam yelled, bouncing up and down in pain.

"Peroxide," Lawrence replied simply, watching the younger man, amused by Adam's immaturity. Even Diana didn't react like this. She sat there and squealed and cried, but she never pushed Lawrence away, because she knew it was important for her wounds to be cleaned.

"Couldn't you give me something that didn't burn like hell? Like some kind of cream or something? You're a real fucking pal, Lawrence," Adam snapped. Lawrence rolled his eyes.

"Calm down. I need to clean it, unless you want it to get infected. And believe me; you don't want an infection on your face. Just sit there and don't think about it," Lawrence said. Adam fumed for a minute, glaring at him, but finally took a deep breath. His body grew very tense, and he gripped Lawrence's free arm so tight that Lawrence considered asking him to ease up.

"Are you ready?" Lawrence asked. Adam gave a sharp nod. _He acts as if I'm about to stab him or something_, Lawrence thought, trying not to laugh at him. He cleaned Adam's cut, and after a moment Adam released Lawrence's arm and relaxed a little.

"See? That wasn't so bad," Lawrence said, tossing the rag onto the coffee table. Adam sank into the cushions, continuing to fidget with the hem of his shirt. He seemed very uncomfortable.

"Adam, are you okay?" Lawrence asked. Adam hesitated, and then said,

"After I hit my face on the box, I fell backward, and he tripped over me, and some chick tripped over him and landed on me. I'm just really sore, and I twisted my ankle," he replied. Lawrence took Adam's foot into his hands, nearly tossing him off the couch in the process. Adam quickly adjusted his position, lying on his back, the arm of the couch supporting his aching neck, and allowed Lawrence to examine his ankle.

"You sure know how to attract pain," Lawrence commented with a faint smile. He rubbed Adam's ankle. At first, it hurt, but then the muscles began to loosen up, and it felt kind of good. Lawrence, watching as Adam slowly relaxed against the couch, continued rubbing his ankle, massaging his fingers deeply into the flesh.

Suddenly, the door bell rang. Disappointment crossed Adam's features as Lawrence released his ankle, and Lawrence smiled at him.

"Don't worry. I'll continue in a minute," he said. He walked over to the door and unlocked it, swinging it open. Alison stood there, her hands resting on Diana's shoulders. She looked irritated and grim, her blonde hair thrown into a sloppy bun, her face clear of any make up. Diana was quite the opposite. Her hair had been put up into pigtails, tied with large, pink bows, and she wore a matching pink dress and white stockings. Her baby doll was in its carriage beside Diana, and the little girl held a huge duffel bag. On her back was a large and obviously stuffed backpack.

"Hi, daddy!" Diana cried, grinning happily. Lawrence returned the grin, taking the duffel bag from her.

"Hello, sweet heart. Go and put your stuff in your room, okay? Make sure you say hi to Adam; he's resting on the couch," he said, kissing her cheek. Diana nodded and rolled her baby carriage into the apartment. Lawrence and Alison watched their daughter greet Adam cheerfully before entering her lovely bedroom. Lawrence then turned to Alison.

"It's Thursday," Lawrence said, the smile gone. Alison scowled at her ex-husband.

"I am quite aware, Lawrence. I need you to take care of Diana for a few weeks. My father had a heart attack, and I am going home to take care of him," Alison said coldly. 'Home' meant California to Alison. It was where she had been born and raised. When she was twenty, she moved to New York, where she met and married Lawrence.

"I hope he recovers well," Lawrence said honestly. He liked Alison's father. They got along well. Alison nodded, turned, and left without another word. Lawrence shut and locked the door. He walked into Diana's room and unpacked her duffel, neatly folding her clothes into her dresser. Already Diana was sitting on the floor, surrounded with her boxes of craft supplies. She looked up patiently at her father.

"Daddy, you need to go away, please. I'm making something for you and Adam. It's a surprise! You can't look at it!" she said, throwing her body across her work. Lawrence chuckled.

"Alright, darling. If you need anything, Adam and I will be in the living room. I'm going to be making lunch soon," he said. He left the room, leaving the door open a crack, and joined Adam on the couch, once again taking the young man's foot. Adam didn't ask any questions. He simply watched Lawrence with a content look on his face.

"Adam...What's your family like? I didn't see them at the hospital," he said. During their stay at the hospital, Adam's family never came to visit in the week he had stayed. Or, if they had, Lawrence hadn't seen them. Did he have any siblings? Were his parents deceased?

Adam ignored this question, tilting his head to the side and closing his eyes. Lawrence got the hint; the kid didn't want to talk about it. So Lawrence talked about his own family.

"Well, I grew up in Washington with my sister and parents. My sister was younger than me by about a year, but I didn't see her a lot. She had leukemia, you see, and was almost always in the hospital. She was a very weak, sickly girl, and my parents didn't let me come see her. The only times I got to talk and play with her was when she was home for a few days. When I was ten years old, she died, and my parents were heartbroken. They had her buried beneath a cherry tree near our house, right by a lake. We visited her grave all the time," Lawrence told him.

He wasn't sure if Adam was even listening, but he continued talking.

"My parents didn't let her death ruin their lives. We were always a close family, and after our grieving process ended, we were a bunch of happy people again. We traveled a lot, and did many family things such as camping and move nights. Vacations were always important. We'd spend months planning something. Sometimes my parents would let me bring a few of my closest friends. Other times it was just my parents and I," he continued, smiling at his memories. Adam's eyes were open now. The young man was watching him with an expression Lawrence couldn't read.

"They didn't have to pay for me to go to college. I had earned enough scholarships to pay for everything. And, as you know, I became a doctor. I moved to New York after graduating from college. My parents still live in Washington in the same house I grew up in. They absolutely adore Diana. They spoil her rotten. I guess I do, too. But she's such a precious child. She loves my parents so much. Which makes me happy," Lawrence said, his smile growing. He looked at Adam.

"I want you to meet my parents. I think you'd like them. They're very kind people," he said. Adam only looked back at him, that unreadable expression still on his face. Lawrence felt a sudden urge to hug him. The boy simply looked very…huggable right now. But Lawrence held back, and continued massaging Adam's injured ankle, which he'd probably wrap up later.

There was a comfortable silence after Lawrence briefly explained his family. The only sound came from Diana's bedroom. She was apparently working very hard on her crafts. Lawrence heard her toss a pair of scissors into the plastic craft-bin and shuffle around some crayons.

"What was your childhood like?" Adam asked, his voice so quiet Lawrence almost didn't hear him.

"Well, as I said, I was very close to my parents. But I enjoyed school, too. I was a hard worker, always wanting to impress my parents. Of course, they were constantly showering me with praise; I only wanted to keep it up. I was involved in a lot of clubs and activities. But somehow I managed to make plenty of friends. When I wasn't doing chores, homework, studying, or spending time with my parents, I was out with friends. We'd go fishing a lot, and we built a tree-house in my backyard. My dad took all of us on a cruise, once," Lawrence said.

Adam buried himself deeper into the couch, closing his eyes again. He was about to fall asleep when he felt Lawrence's warm, slightly calloused hands rubbing his back. Adam made a sound of gratitude, shifting so that Lawrence could massage him easier.

"Are you really so sore?" Lawrence asked, doing his best. Adam nodded with a sigh of pleasure. Lawrence rubbed his back in deep, warm circles, massaging every knot and kink out. He found that Adam especially liked the small of his back rubbed. His hands moved underneath Adam's shirt, continuing to massage Adam's back. His fingers would occasionally brush across Adam's sides. His back was quite warm from having been pressed against the cushions.

"Do you want me to stop?" Lawrence asked, hearing Adam groan.

"Hell no," Adam mumbled, and Lawrence smiled. His hands moved up Adam's back and began rubbing his neck and shoulders. His shirt kept getting in the way and limiting how far his hands could go, so Lawrence simply removed it. Adam didn't resist – in fact, he moved to help take it off. Lawrence had just gotten back to rubbing Adam's neck when Diana came skipping in.

"I made you something!" she chortled, handing Lawrence a piece of pink construction paper cut into the shape of a heart. It was covered in glitter, and Diana had stuck sparkly stickers along the sides of the heart.

_I love you Daddy! _Was written in the middle of the heart in large, sloppy, black crayon. She'd drawn a smiley face underneath it.

"Aw, thank you very much, Diana, it's beautiful! I love you too, sweet-pea," he said, his heart ready to burst with the love he felt for his wonderful daughter. He gave her a huge hug and kissed her cheek. She smiled, her dimples simply adorable.

"I have one for you, too, Adam!" she sang, thrusting it into his face. He sat up a little bit, taking the card. It was green construction paper cut into the shape of a circle. She'd traced her hand shakily with dark blue crayon and managed to squeeze the words 'Hi Adam!' inside the small hand. She'd drawn a smiley face on his card as well, and there were Winnie the Pooh stickers covering the rest of the card.

Adam grinned at her.

"Thank you, Diana," he said, giving her a hug. She pecked his cheek and then giggled shyly, burying her face into her father's lap. Lawrence laughed, patting her head.

"What would you like for lunch, darling?" he asked.

"Pizza," Adam and Diana said at the same time. Lawrence grinned at Adam.

"I was talking to Diana, but looks like you'll be getting what you want as well, _darling_," he said, barely able to conceal his laughter. Adam blushed deeply, and tugged his shirt on. Diana took Adam's hand.

"Adam, I want you to draw pictures with me," she begged. Adam nodded and followed her into her bedroom as Lawrence ordered pizza.

XXXXXXXXXXX

Twenty minutes later, Lawrence stood in the kitchen, watching Adam fill three cups with lemonade and ice. He had to tell him. Right now. Nerves ate away at his stomach, and he felt lightheaded. He cleared his throat, and Adam glanced over at him.

"Adam," Lawrence said. Adam nodded, raising his eyebrows questioningly.

"I love you."

**Thank you for reading! Hmmm...What will Adam say or do? :D Guess you'll have to wait and find out. Please review! :)**


	8. Chapter 8: I just do

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Spring break! Yay! Here's chapter eight. I hope you enjoy it. Reviews would be lovely, thank you. **

Lawrence watched Adam, who blinked and swallowed. Something flashed through the boy's eyes…Fear? Why was he afraid? Adam fidgeted with the hem of his shirt, licking his lips, looking everywhere except at Lawrence. The silence was so tense that Lawrence didn't even want to move.

"Now would be a lovely time to say something, Adam," Lawrence said, his voice shaking a little. But Adam didn't say anything. He simply stood there silently, staring at the floor.

"Sorry. The pizza's going to be here shortly, and Diana's hungry," Lawrence said, brushing his palm across Adam's cheek. Adam nodded, taking Lawrence's hand and pressing a kiss against his wrist. He then walked off without saying anything. Which Lawrence had been expecting.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"And then, Princess Rainbow-Heart got on her unicorn named Stella, and they flew away! And the prince slayed the dragon, too! He saved the day, and married the princess, and they lived happily ever after. It was the best movie ever!" Diana shouted, waving her hands enthusiastically in the air. She choked briefly on her pizza, and Adam patted her back roughly until her coughing fit ended.

"I'm glad you liked the movie, Diana, but you can't talk while you're eating. Also, keep your voice down. We're right next to you. No need to shout," Lawrence said, amused by his daughter's cheerfulness. Diana grinned up at Adam. Her eyebrows crinkled, and she studied Adam's bruise.

"What happened to your eye, Adam?" she asked, taking a huge bite from her pizza. Without thinking, Adam said,

"Oh, my neighbor's bratty kid threw a baseball at me, and it hit me in the eye."

Diana swallowed her pizza.

"What a meanie," Diana commented sympathetically. Lawrence stared at Adam. It was then that Adam realized he'd forgotten the lie he'd told Lawrence. What had he told Lawrence? Something about a guy and a box.

"What did you just say?" Lawrence asked. Adam swallowed, licking sauce from the corner of his mouth.

"Er, that is…" Adam mumbled, struggling to remember. Lawrence sat back in his chair.

"You lied to me. And it was such a pathetic lie that you can't even remember what it was," he said. Adam's hands lowered and he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt.

"I wasn't lying. I just…I mean, Diana's….She's a kid, and…"

Lawrence cut him off sharply.

"Just stop it," he snapped. Adam lowered his head, staring dully at his half-eaten pizza. He'd lied to Lawrence. Diana watched her father with huge eyes. Her hand covered his.

"Daddy, why are you mad at Adam?" she asked in a small voice.

"Because he lied, and I don't like being lied to," he said coldly. Diana frowned, climbing into her father's lap. She buried her head against his chest.

"But you said that learning forgiveness is very kind," she said, obviously upset that her two favorite men were not happy with each other.

"Yes. When someone _apologizes, _then you should forgive them," Lawrence replied, staring directly at Adam. Adam slammed his fist against the table. Diana jumped, startled.

"What're you, my fucking _mother_?" he shouted. "I don't have to tell you anything!"

Lawrence stood up abruptly, holding Diana.

"Watch your language, Adam," he said, anger printed clearly on his face, lowering his daughter to the floor.

"Then mind your own business, Lawrence," Adam snapped. Lawrence scowled.

"Mind my own business? Is it so wrong for me to be concerned when my…my friend comes home with a terrible black eye and a cut along his face?" the doctor exclaimed loudly. He remembered at the last minute to say 'friend' instead of 'lover', because of Diana's presence and the fact that they were technically not lovers.

"Yes! I have my life, and you have yours! I don't attack _you _with questions every time you come home," Adam yelled.

"That's because you don't have to! I don't hide anything from you," Lawrence said. Adam's hands were trembling.

"Maybe I don't want you to know everything about me!" Adam shouted. Lawrence let out an exasperated sigh.

"Well why not?" Lawrence asked impatiently.

"Maybe because my life sucks compared to your fucking perfect one. Maybe I'm a_shamed _about my life. _Maybe _I like my privacy," he yelled, his eyes glistening with tears. Lawrence didn't know what to say to that. Adam never spoke about anything personal, and Lawrence guessed that it was because life had not served the boy well.

"And you think you'd be better off hiding things from me? How does that make anything easier or better? Do you think I'd judge you?" Lawrence exclaimed. Adam abruptly left the apartment. The front door slammed loudly behind him, and Diana flinched. There were tears in the little girl's eyes as she stared at the door with her father.

"Daddy?" she whispered, her voice so tentative and faint that Lawrence almost didn't hear her. He looked down, every ounce of energy drained from him.

"Yes, pumpkin?" he asked. A few tears trickled down Diana's cheeks.

"I don't want you and Adam to hate each other," she said. Lawrence scooped her up, hugging her tightly to his chest. He shook his head, carrying her to the bathroom.

"We don't hate each other. People argue sometimes," he assured her. He helped undress his daughter, turning the shower on for her.

"You and mommy yelled all the time, and now you hate each other," Diana said, climbing carefully into the shower. Lawrence sat down on the closed toilet and sighed, staring at the wall.

"I don't hate mommy. Diana…Just don't think about it, okay? Everything's going to be fine," he replied wearily. He rubbed at his temples and Diana took the hint. She finished her shower in silence, brushed her teeth, and dressed into her pajamas. When she was done, Lawrence tucked her into bed and kissed her forehead.

"Daddy," she suddenly called. He paused in the doorway, glancing back.

"Why was Adam sad?" she asked. Lawrence blinked, confused.

"He was angry, not sad," he said. Diana shook her head.

"But he was crying," she insisted. Lawrence kneaded his knuckles into his forehead.

"Goodnight, Diana," he said, leaving the room. He sat down on the couch with a sigh, staring at the ceiling. Diana had a point. There had been tears in his eyes. And Lawrence knew for a fact that Adam didn't cry when he was angry. Something had been triggered in Adam's mind, stirring up emotions. He glanced out the window. It was very dark outside, too cloudy for the light of the stars and moon to shine.

Adam was out there somewhere.

Lawrence went into Diana's bedroom twenty minutes later and pulled her out of bed gently. She was fast asleep, so he made sure to be very careful and quiet as he carried her out of the apartment. Once they reached the van, Lawrence slid his daughter onto the backseat. Diana stirred, but didn't wake up. He quickly started the car and drove off. He had to find Adam. He wouldn't let the boy walk alone in the dark.

XXXXXXXXX

Lawrence drove for about fifteen minutes before finding Adam. The kid was walking slowly along the pavement, his arms wrapped tightly around his torso. Lawrence pulled over, pulled the keys out of the ignition, and got out of the car. He made sure to lock it before running towards Adam. Adam quickly glanced over his shoulder, hearing Lawrence. When he saw him, he turned back around and broke into a run.

_This will be easy. He can't run from me. He's a small guy who's done drugs and has smoked for who knows how long. I'm a healthy person. He won't make it ten feet, _Lawrence thought, running after him. Boy, was he wrong. That kid could _run. _He ran as if the devil were clawing at his heels. Lawrence couldn't keep up. In a moment, Adam had run so fast that he was now out of sight. He'd rounded a corner, as well.

Lawrence knew the city very well, though. So did Adam, who knew it even better than Lawrence. But Adam was in a fit of panic and wasn't thinking about where to run. Lawrence sprinted down a few alleys, racing around corners, and ended up smashing into Adam. The smaller man fell over, but was up like a bolt of lightning. Before Lawrence could register the fact that Adam had even gotten up, Adam punched him in the face.

Pain exploded in his head, and warm blood gushed from his nose.

"Shit! Shit! Oh, fuck, Lawrence I'm sorry! I…I didn't mean to punch you. It's just that I freaked…I didn't know who bumped into me…And I…" Adam's voice trailed off, his hands pressed tightly to his face, his eyes wide with horror and shock. Lawrence wiped the blood from his face.

"Why did you run from me?" Lawrence asked, reaching into his pocket. He pulled out a wad of tissues and pressed it to his throbbing nose. The kid was a whole lot stronger than he looked. Lawrence considered himself lucky that his nose hadn't been broken.

"Because…I don't want you to hate me," Adam replied. He slid down the brick wall of a closed thrift shop and sat down, hugging his knees tightly to his chest. He gazed morosely at the street.

"Why would I hate you? I could never hate you," Lawrence said, standing in front of him. He wasn't sure what to do. If he sat down beside him, Adam might pull away. So he remained standing. Adam shrugged slightly. He wasn't even breathing that hard, despite having run so long and fast. It was obvious that Adam wasn't going to answer him.

"Jesus Christ, Adam. Why don't you ever tell me anything? Why don't you answer any of my questions? I just want to help you. I want you to trust me. I want to know everything about you," Lawrence said, exasperated. Adam ducked his head in between his knees, remaining silent. It was driving Lawrence absolutely crazy. He couldn't stand this silent treatment. He knelt down in front of Adam, who immediately tensed up, and leaned forward, grabbing the boy's shoulders.

"Adam, please talk to me," Lawrence begged quietly. Adam finally raised his head. His eyes were glistening with unshed tears again, and it broke Lawrence's heart.

"I don't deserve you, Lawrence! Why do you keep coming back? I just punched you in the face! I lied to you, I ran from you, I fucking stalked you last year. Is there something wrong with you? Why would you want someone like me? I don't want you to know anything about me," Adam yelled. His voice, cracked with emotion, echoed in the empty street. A few tears escaped his eyes and trickled down his face. Lawrence brushed them away, and Adam glowered at him.

"Because I love you," Lawrence said simply. Adam drove his fist into the concrete pavement, throwing his head back.

"Why?" he snarled. Lawrence rolled his eyes.

"Does there have to be a reason for everything? Adam, you are one of the cutest men I've ever met, and although you constantly act like an immature, obnoxious, angry child, I know that you're hiding a beautiful personality down there. I've seen you hold doors open for people. You're great with Diana, you cared about me in that bathroom, you actually cried for me, you saved my life, and you make me feel loved every time you smile at me. I think you need to control your actions more. But I have a feeling that you are a very broken man, and not just from the bathroom. I think somebody has hurt you deeply. I want to help you. I love you and care for you, and I will always be here for you. I will chase you down in the dead of the night, because I know you're scared of the dark. I want you to sleep in my bed so that you won't wake up alone after having a nightmare. I want you to know that you can tell me anything and my opinion of you won't change. Adam, I can't describe perfectly why I love you. I just do," Lawrence told him.

**Thanks for reading! Please review! :)**


	9. Chapter 9: A Bit of Adam

**Disclaimers: I do not own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Hey. (: So here's the ninth chapter. I promise you'll like the ending of this one. :D I know I did. Thanks for reading this far, and thank you for the sweet reviews! They really do motivate me, so keep them coming. XD Enjoy the chapter!**

Lawrence watched as Adam's eyes grew wide. There was a long silence in which Adam stared at Lawrence. The doctor wondered if anyone had ever spoken like this to him. The boy seemed so shocked, flustered, and…sad. Lawrence scooted next to him and put his arm around Adam's shoulders, pulling him close. At first, Adam remained tense, and Lawrence thought he was going to pull away. But he didn't; he relaxed against him with a shaky sigh, his eyes closing, and a tear falling down his cheek.

The two remained silent for what seemed like forever but couldn't have been more than ten minutes. Adam broke the silence. His voice was low and quiet.

"I've lived in New York my whole life. My family didn't have a lot of money, so we lived in a really shitty apartment. If you think my apartment now is bad, you should've seen what I grew up in. My dad was an alcoholic, and an angry drunk. He used to hit my mom whenever she was home; which wasn't a lot, so I was his punching bag. He'd beat me until I was unconscious. I've been in the hospital more times than I can count with both hands, and each time my dad had a perfect excuse for the doctors," Adam mumbled.

Lawrence closed his eyes, his heart skipping a beat before clenching. He could imagine Adam as a child; small, thin, and weak, like a baby bird, getting abused by his father. His throat closed up, and he swallowed hard.

"I didn't go to school a lot, because I was always either too sick or in too much pain to get out of bed. My parents would forget to buy food, and I was malnourished and sick almost all the time. If I wasn't sick, I was beaten so badly that it hurt to even breathe. My mom wasn't much of a help. She was bipolar…And a hooker. She'd bring her 'clients' home nearly every night. It was fucking horrible, having to hear them get at it," he continued.

"My mom would hit me, too. Not beat me like my father would, but the occasional smack in the face, or a shove to the floor. That sort of thing. When I was a kid, I didn't even resist. I would only cry and beg for them to stop. I was an accident; a mistake. My mom made that clear one night."

_Adam, curled up tightly in a corner of his dark bedroom, peered up at his mother through his dark bangs. His hair was an absolute mess. His skin was as pale as the moon, but covered completely with severe, dark bruises and deep cuts. The eight year old was insanely thin, and his eyes were huge, wide, and full of tears. He trembled all over, swallowing sobs as he hugged himself._

_"Did you honestly think I wanted a fucking pathetic piece of shit like you? Because if you did, you've been living a fucking lie. You were a mistake. An accident, for God's sake! I never wanted you! You were the result of drunk sex without a condom. I could never look you in the eye and call you my fucking son. You aren't a son to me. You're just a piece of shit that I unfortunately brought into this world." His mother shrieked, borderline hysteric. _

By now, tears were streaming down Lawrence's cheeks. How could anyone say something like that to their son? Especially a son so young? He didn't say anything, though, because he didn't want Adam to change his mind about the story.

"It was impossible to please them. They never spoke to me as a human being. They only screamed at me, belittled me, and beat me. I often had to steal food in order to provide for myself. I had no friends, because I didn't like people looking at me or touching me. Finally, when I was eighteen, I moved out and lived on the streets until I managed to scrape enough money to get myself into the apartment I currently live in," Adam finished.

His short story on his childhood was much unexpected. It also didn't cover more than half of what he had to live through. It would take a long time for Adam to tell Lawrence _everything._ It was obvious by the look on his face that it had taken a lot of work for Adam to tell this much. When he was ready to talk again, he would. Lawrence would wait patiently.

"Come home with me," Lawrence said softly, stroking Adam's hair. The boy shook his head. Adam ignored Lawrence when Lawrence asked why, and stood up.

"I'm walking you home," Lawrence said. It wasn't a request or a question. It was a statement; it was what he was going to do. Adam only nodded. They found the car and got inside. Diana was still sound asleep, even after Lawrence dropped Adam off at the run-down, cheap apartment.

"Goodnight, Adam," Lawrence said. Adam gave him a half-smile, his eyes looking haunted, and went inside. That was the last time Lawrence saw him for three and a half weeks.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

"What the fuck is this shit?" Adam exclaimed, holding a bar of Godiva chocolate. Lawrence glanced at him. He had finally got the kid to get out of his apartment. They were shopping at a grocery store; now that Diana was staying with him for a while, they needed food. Alison was staying with her father for the rest of the year, so that meant that Diana would be with Lawrence in that time. After Adam had told Lawrence a bit of his childhood, he hadn't left his apartment or talked to Lawrence. That is, until today. Lawrence had bribed him with dinner and beer. Plus, Diana had begged. And apparently Adam didn't like seeing children cry.

"What are you talking about?" Lawrence asked, examining the calories of a box of noodles. Adam scowled.

"Who the fuck ruins chocolate by putting nuts in? This is so fucking gross and annoying. They don't have any milk chocolate left! They're all contaminated by nuts!" Adam yelled. About six people had looked over, and Lawrence was getting embarrassed.

"Adam, quiet down. Just find a different brand," he said quietly. Adam shook his head.

"Oh, so now I can't get chocolate by the brand I like? Now I have to go get a fucking Hershey bar because Godiva can't respect the preferences of the people? This is an outrage. I'd love to go kick the ass of whoever thought to put nuts in Godiva chocolate. What a fucking bastard," Adam snapped, still very loud. They now had an audience.

Lawrence sighed and shook his head, tossing a box of Ramen noodles into their shopping cart. Diana skipped over, her baby doll strapped to her back, and a box of Fruit Loops in her arms.

"Daddy, I chose my cereal!" she called. She put it into the cart.

"Did you get Chocolate Pebbles?" Adam asked Diana, throwing the chocolate bar onto the tiled floor. An old man gave him a dirty look, and Adam showed him his middle finger.

"No, they didn't have any. But I got Fruit Loops," Diana replied. Lawrence picked up the bar of chocolate and put it back onto the shelf.

"Adam, can you please act your age?" Lawrence said, pushing the cart towards the bakery aisle. Diana took Adam's hand, and the two followed behind Lawrence.

The rest of the shopping went well. They paid for their groceries and loaded the trunk of Lawrence's van.

"Can we go to the park?" Diana asked once they were all seated in the car. Lawrence looked at his watch.

"Alright, but we have to put away the groceries first, and you need to change out of your dress and into something that could get dirty," he said. Diana whooped in joy.

When they got home, Diana ran off to her room while Adam and Lawrence began putting away the groceries.

"Where do you want me to put the bread?" Adam asked, holding up the loaf of potato bread. Lawrence pointed at the cabinet by the microwave, and Adam put the bread away. Just as they finished up, Diana came running in wearing a pair of denim shorts and a baby blue Winnie the Pooh T-shirt. Her long hair was pulled up into a ponytail, and she wore her sneakers.

"I'm ready to go," Diana announced.

"Alright, then get into the car," Lawrence said. The two men followed the little girl to the van.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Daddy, look how high I can swing!" she screamed. Adam was sitting on the swing next to her, watching with awe. Lawrence looked at Adam.

"C'mon, Adam, let's see how high you can swing," he said playfully. Adam turned a dark red.

"I…I don't know how," he muttered. Lawrence blinked, startled.

"Haven't you ever been on a swing?" he asked. Adam shook his head, so Lawrence stood behind him. He gave Adam's back a hard push, but the boy only fell off the swing. He jumped up, glaring at Lawrence.

"Why'd you push me?" he snapped. Lawrence couldn't help but grin.

"Adam, I was trying to give you a push so that you could begin swinging. Alright, sit on the swing and hold onto the chains," he said. Adam obeyed without a word, surprisingly. Lawrence took the lower ends of the chain and pulled them back. He let go, and Adam slowly swung forward. Lawrence gave him a push, and this time Adam remained seated.

"Adam, when you move forward, push your legs outward. When you move backward, pull your legs in," Lawrence said. He pushed Adam again, and Adam stuck his legs out. Lawrence laughed.

"You have to thrust your hips when you push your legs outward," he told him.

"You're joking," Adam accused.

"No, really, I'm not," Lawrence insisted. So Adam did as he was told, and he slowly began to swing. As ten minutes went by, Adam could swing pretty well by himself. Lawrence had to occasionally push him.

When it was time to leave, both Adam and Diana were pouting.

"But I wanted to swing some more," Adam grumbled.

"Me, too," Diana whined. Lawrence smiled, yanking her up into the air and plopping her onto his shoulders. She shrieked and grasped at his hair, grinning widely.

"What do you say we get some ice cream, Diana?" he asked. Adam grinned beside him.

"I say that would be awesome! What do you say, Adam?" she shouted.

"I say hells to the yeah," Adam replied cheerfully. Lawrence smacked his arm lightly for cussing near Diana, and Adam grinned up at him. His eyes were sparkling happily, and it warmed Lawrence's heart. Adam was never taken out to ice cream or brought to the park. This must be so new to him. Lawrence helped Diana into the car and got in; making sure everyone buckled their seat belts.

XXXXXXXXX

Adam sat there with his chocolate milkshake and looked up at Lawrence, who was eating vanilla ice cream in a cone. Diana sat beside Lawrence with a cup of strawberry ice cream and rainbow sprinkles. Lawrence glanced at Adam.

"What?" he asked. Adam tilted his head to the side.

"You have ice-cream by the corner of your mouth," Adam replied. Lawrence reached up to wipe at it, but Adam caught his wrist tightly. Startled, Lawrence raised his brows. Adam pulled him close and kissed him. The kiss was short, sweet, and cold, but it was still a kiss. Adam withdrew first, of course, and took a sip of his milkshake, his innocent gaze sweeping over his settings. Lawrence, stunned, stared at him. Diana hadn't even noticed. She was watching a butterfly with fascination.

"Did you just…" Lawrence's voice trailed off. Adam glanced up at him.

"Hmmm?" he asked.

"You know…" Lawrence said. He didn't want to say. Because there was a child sitting beside him. Adam blinked.

"Yeah, I did. And?" Adam said, taking another sip of his milkshake. Lawrence stared at him, a grin growing on his face. Adam merely tilted his head back and looked up at the clouds, a slight smile tugging at his lips.

**Thanks for reading! Please review. :)**


	10. Chapter 10: Adam's Night and Realization

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Last day of Spring Break. :"( How tragic. Anyway, here's chapter ten. I'm sorry for taking so long. I believe you will all like this one. :) Unfortunately, Adam isn't very funny in this one. Well, he has his moments. I promise more humor in the next one. :D And romance, of course. Things are starting to heat up, as you will see. :)**

**Thank you for all the wonderful reviews. It really does boost my confidence and self-esteem. They always make my day. :D So, go ahead and read this chapter, and enjoy it! Don't forget to leave me a review, please?. 3 :)**

_Lawrence was leaving. He was crawling away, blood flowing quickly and thickly from the end of his leg. He was leaving him all alone, all by himself, to die. He screamed, stretching out as far as he could, reaching for Lawrence, screaming and screaming. Lawrence only looked back with tears in his eyes. And then he was gone. Adam screamed himself hoarse_.

_The dead man rose from the floor. He told Adam that the key was in the bath tub. But the key had gone down the drain. He begged for release, but the man only slammed those heavy doors closed. _

_The darkness swallowed his body, filling him, enveloping him. It was suffocating and horrid. He panicked, curling into a tight ball, sobbing, his shoulder wound shrieking in agony. Lawrence would never come back. If he didn't bleed to death, Jigsaw would kill him off. And if Lawrence somehow managed to escape, he would forget all about Adam, and Adam would die all alone in the dark. _

_The scenery changed. Now Adam was four years old. He went up to his father with a broken toy._

_"Dad, my train broke," he whimpered, sniffling. His father smacked him across the face hard enough to knock him to the floor. Adam let out a cry of surprise and pain before wailing in distress._

_"Grow a pair of balls! You're a man, Adam! Only women would cry over broken shit. Don't you ever approach me with tears in your eyes, or I'll rip your testicles off and shove them down your ungrateful, sniveling throat! Men are supposed to be strong and callous! You'd better toughen up," his father shouted, his eyes bloodshot. Adam raced into his room._

_Six years later, Adam was lying in a hospital bed with three broken ribs, a collapsed lung, whiplash, and a concussion. He'd already been fixed up. There was an IV attached to his arm, and an oxygen tube was strewn across his face, the two knobs up his nose. _

_"It was a hit and run. I told the boy not to play in the street, but he never listens. I was watching TV when I suddenly heard a loud crash, a scream, and a squeal of tires. By the time I got outside, the car was gone, and Adam was lying unconscious in the street," Adam's father lied to the doctor._

_Tears trickled down Adam's bruised cheeks and he stared hopelessly out the window. The doctor believed those lies. They always did. _

_Now Adam was back in the dark room. He was hungry, cold, and in pain. Jigsaw was in the room. He could hear the killer walking around. The horrible part was not knowing where he was. Occasionally Jigsaw would laugh or cough. _

_"Poor, poor Adam, all alone and forgotten…" Jigsaw chuckled. His voice was cold and hard, like nails. He tormented Adam like this for hours, until Adam felt like he was losing his mind. _

_Oh, God, the darkness. It was so fucking dark. Silent and dark….It was agonizing. _

Adam lurched forward, his body slick with sweat, dripping from his body and hair onto the sheets. His chest was heaving, his eyes were huge, and he was breathing so fast and hard that he felt light headed. He leapt out of bed and ran from the apartment. His heart was beating wildly, skipping beats. He felt like a rabbit running from a lion.

He didn't know where he was going until he actually got there. His fingers were shaking so badly that it took him six tries before he could get the key to fit into the lock. Once the door was unlocked, he flung it open, raced inside, and sprinted into the bedroom. With a flying leap, he was on the bed, where he finally let out the scream that had been bubbling up in the pit of his stomach. Lawrence jerked awake and was sitting up in a matter of seconds, his arms immediately around Adam. Adam's long scream turned into panicked sobs, and he was barely able to breathe through them.

Lawrence murmured soft, loving words into Adam's ear, rubbing his sweaty back. Adam was shaking so badly that his teeth chattered. His sobs made it even worse, and Lawrence was afraid the kid was going to pass out from lack of oxygen. Finally, after ten minutes, Adam stopped hyperventilating and simply cried into Lawrence's shoulder until he was all cried out.

"I'm here, it's alright, everything's fine," Lawrence whispered. He kissed Adam's lips tenderly. But that wasn't enough for Adam, who immediately returned the tender kiss with a deep, desperate one. His shaking arms wrapped around Lawrence's neck, clinging to him as if he were a life ring.

Adam's tongue found its way inside of Lawrence's mouth. He nipped at the doctor's lower lip, his hands sliding across his firm chest. He brushed his thumbs across Lawrence's exposed nipples. After all, both men were bare chested; Adam wore a pair of black boxers, and Lawrence wore a pair of gray cotton pajama pants.

He moved his hands down to Lawrence's sides, gripping them tightly as Lawrence removed his lips from Adam's and placing them onto the younger man's neck, biting down on the soft flesh. Adam let out a small gasp, tilting his head back to give Lawrence more room. Lawrence sucked at his neck. The boy tasted of sweat, but it didn't matter to Lawrence.

Adam was growing excited. Lawrence could feel a hard bulge pressed against his thigh, and it turned him on. Adam's hand slipped into Lawrence's boxers and gripped his hard, throbbing cock. Lawrence's eyes widened, shocked and immediately filled with lust. His back arched and he moaned as Adam began pulling and rubbing his prick.

"Adam, I…I can't," Lawrence whispered, his voice thick and shaking with desire. Adam stared at him.

"What?" the boy asked. Lawrence forced himself to pull away from Adam. But Adam pushed Lawrence flat onto his back on the soft, cool sheets. He straddled the older man, pressing his lips back to Lawrence's, grinding his hips steadily against the older man's.

Lawrence was unable to stop for a while. For the next ten minutes, Lawrence's hands and lips explored Adam's small, sweaty body, his teeth grazing his flesh every now and then. Adam was shivering again, but this time in sexual pleasure, not fear. The boy had his eyes closed, leaning against Lawrence's warm body.

"Not tonight," Lawrence finally uttered, as Adam attempted to remove Lawrence's pants. Adam whined in protest, pushing his hardened cock against Lawrence's, stealing a moan from the older man. But Lawrence refused to do this. He sat up, watching the younger man topple backwards.

"I can't do this tonight, Adam. You're not in your right mind. You're scared, upset, and tired. I'm not going to use you," Lawrence said. Adam scowled.

"So you're going to make me go relieve myself rather than have you do it?" the boy asked, frustrated. Lawrence couldn't help but grin, and nodded. He watched Adam storm off into the bathroom, grumbling under his breath.

Of course, Adam returned after taking care of his boner and washing up. Lawrence helped him onto the bed and lied down, taking the boy into his strong arms, hugging him securely to his chest.

"You ran across the city in your boxers?" Lawrence asked in the darkness, amused. Adam grunted quietly. The doctor wasn't expecting a reply, but he got one. Adam was an unpredictable guy, most of the time.

"I wanted…to be with you," Adam admitted quietly, burying his face against Lawrence's warm chest. Lawrence stroked his back lovingly.

"Did you have a nightmare?" Lawrence asked softly. After a moment, Adam nodded, and Lawrence soon felt hot tears against his chest. He tilted Adam's head back and brushed those tears from the boy's flushed face.

"Was it that bad?" he asked. Adam rolled his eyes, trying to seem tougher.

"Well, obviously, or I wouldn't have run to your apartment in my fucking boxers," he replied. His voice was flat and without emotion, though, and Lawrence knew that the dream was horrible to the point where Adam wouldn't talk about it.

"Go to sleep," Lawrence murmured. Adam pressed against Lawrence's body securely, resting his head on the older man's shoulder, and closed his eyes, releasing a deep, shuddering breath. Lawrence stroked his soft hair until he fell asleep, smiling down at him. Adam was so relaxed when asleep. It was so different from his usual tense, stiff, wariness.

Lawrence closed his eyes as well and drifted off to sleep soon afterwards, thinking of Adam.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Sunlight streamed into the room from Lawrence's window, falling across the bed in several narrow strips, thinned by the semi-closed blinds. Lawrence opened his eyes and looked over. Adam was lying on his back, his arms crossed behind his head, staring dully up at the ceiling. His eyes were puffy and red-rimmed from crying so hard, and there were dried tear streaks down his cheeks.

The memories of the previous night flooded through Lawrence's mind, and he became wide-awake, suddenly nervous. Surely Adam would've left if he was embarrassed? But the boy simply looked exhausted and emotionally pained.

"Do you…Do you remember what happened last night?" Lawrence asked, his heart hammering in his chest. He had to know. He just had to. He watched Adam nervously. Adam didn't move or speak for a full minute or two. Finally, he gave a very slight nod. His expression remained the same, and he didn't look at Lawrence.

"How could I forget? You left me with a massive fucking boner. I think my penis broke a personal record," Adam replied gravelly, his voice husky from his hysterics last night. Lawrence couldn't help but grin.

"I wasn't sure if you were in your right mind," Lawrence said apologetically, getting out of bed. He walked across the room, Adam continuing to stare at the ceiling.

"You should move in," Lawrence suggested, glancing over at the boy. Adam didn't acknowledge him, so Lawrence just left the room to go shower.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"I have to go to work. I'll be back sometime tonight. Can you watch Diana?" Lawrence said to Adam. Adam looked up from his untouched plate of waffles. He looked like a complete wreck, and Lawrence felt guilty for asking Adam to watch the very energetic and cheerful little girl. His hair was sticking up and tousled, he kept fidgeting, and his eyes looked haunted and red-rimmed, dark, deep bags beneath them. The boy licked his lips.

"Yeah," he mumbled, looking back down at his waffles, which were probably cold by now. He rested his chin against his fists, which were curled together now. The end of a string of his gray cotton hooded sweater was in his mouth; he was apparently playing with it, like a child.

Lawrence thanked him and left.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

Two hours later, Adam found himself wearing a pair of giant, sparkly, purple fairy wings. Almost an entire bottle of glitter had been emptied into his hair, and there were sparkles on his face, neck, chest, and arms. He stared at himself in the mirror. Diana was sitting on the floor, approving of her handiwork.

"I look like fu – Edward Cullen," he commented, swallowing the cuss word. Lawrence didn't approve of cussing or smoking near Diana. Diana laughed and stood up, grabbing his arm and pulling him to her white circular table. There were two chairs on either side of the table, which was loaded with a pretty glass tea party set. She had filled the tea pot with iced tea, and there were chocolate chip cookies on the plates. Diana had made them herself.

"Sit down, Adam," she ordered happily, sitting down at her own chair. Adam obliged, grumbling.

"Would you like some tea, Adam?" she asked, her voice rose up an octave.

"No," Adam said flatly. She served him some tea, anyway, and then poured herself some. Adam watched her with a faint smile. He'd never had a sister, so he was unaccustomed to the life of a girl. She looked up at him and flashed him a smile. Sure, she didn't look like Lawrence at all, but she definitely had the same smile.

"Would you like some cookies, Adam?" she asked in the same tone. Adam smirked.

"Hell yeah!" he exclaimed, holding out his plate. She giggled and slid five cookies onto his plate.

"Don't tell your daddy I said that," he told her with a grin, taking a bite out of the cookie.

Diana had put on her formal dress-up clothes. She had braided her hair and then curled it into a tight bun on the top of her head. She wore a white, frilly, lacy dress, white stockings, and a silver, heart-shaped locket. Adam was afraid she'd spill tea onto her dress and stain it.

"Maybe you should wear a bib…Or, like, change into a dress that doesn't look so expensive…and white," he said to her. She waved a hand dismissively at him.

"No, thank you. If I stain it, my daddy can just bleach it and get it dry-cleaned. Or just buy me a new one. It's not a real dress…It's a costume, silly! And I'm not wearing a bib. Bibs are for babies," she said, taking a sip of her tea, her pinky finger raised politely. He bit back a laugh.

"Alright; but if you spill anything, don't say I didn't warn you," he replied, cramming an entire cookie into his mouth. Diana watched him, fascinated.

"Hey, Adam?" she asked after a long, comfortable silence in which they drank their tea and ate their cookies.

"Yes, love?" he replied, reaching for another cookie.

"What're _your _parents like?" she asked. His hand froze over the cookie for a minute, but then he grabbed it and pulled his arm back across the table.

"They're not like your parents, Diana. They're…" his voice trailed off and he shifted uncomfortably, accidentally knocking the tea pot to the floor. The lid popped open and iced tea splashed everywhere; the carpet began to soak it up.

"Ah, shit, I'm sorry," he said, standing up awkwardly. It was hard to move easily with the large wings. Diana didn't move from the table as he grabbed a wad of napkins and pressed them against the huge puddle.

"Adam?" she asked. Adam nodded, kneading his knuckles into the napkin.

"You're the fairy princess to my daddy. You two should get married!" Diana cried happily. He flinched, startled, his eyes widening.

"Wh-What?" he spluttered, blushing deeply. Diana leaped onto her bed and hugged her baby doll to her chest.

"Well, it's so obvious that he loves you! He's always looking at you with that look in his eyes. You know, the one Prince Charming has when he looks at his princess! Oh! My daddy's Prince Charming and you are his princess! Now, you two need to get married and live happily ever after!" she said, her voice rising to a shriek towards the end.

Adam lifted the napkin and was relieved to see that he'd soaked up most of the drink.

"Why do I have to be the princess?" Adam asked, grinning up at her.

"Because you're smaller, duh! Remember when he carried you to the car?" she said, bouncing up and down excitedly on the bed. He shook his head, letting out an embarrassed laugh.

"Well? Do you love my daddy?" she asked as Adam stood up. He fidgeted with the soaked napkin, staring at the child, stunned. There was a long silence, and then he left the room to throw away the napkin. Only to slam into a tall, strong, warm body. He jumped, startled, and let out a yelp of alarm. Strong arms wrapped around his waist, pulling him close to the warm body.

"My, don't you look lovely," Lawrence commented with a laugh, brushing his fingers through Adam's dark and sparkly hair. Adam pulled away, humiliated.

"Shouldn't you be at work?" he asked, walking into the kitchen. Lawrence followed him.

"It's my lunch break," Lawrence answered. Adam threw away the napkin. He turned around, facing Lawrence, and remained motionless, simply staring at him impassively. Lawrence smiled fondly at him and closed the distance, once again pulling him against his body. He hugged him tightly, and Adam rested his head against Lawrence's chest. He listened to the older man's heart beat. It was a calm, steady rhythm, and Adam closed his eyes.

"Welcome home, then," Adam mumbled.

_Yes, Diana, I love your daddy. I love him so much. _

**D'awww! :) I bet you guys thought they were going to have sex. Hahaha! Sorry to disappoint you. But I do believe that they will have sex in chapter twelve. ^^ Thank you so much for reading this chapter...and the rest of the story, haha. Let me know what you think so far, and if I should continue. Please review, thank you! **


	11. Chapter 11: The Fair

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: This is the longest chapter I've written so far for this fanfic. But it's worth reading, in my opinion. A lot happens, and it's probably the best and one of my favorites so far. :) I didn't have anyone read it before I posted it, so hopefully it's satisfactory to everyone. ALSO: Please REVIEW this chapter! I don't care if you're never going to read another chapter of this story and this was your last one. (Well, actually, I would care, but, still. xD) I worked SO hard on this chapter and spent quite a bit of time and thought on it. So I would absolutely LOVE REVIEWS. Let me know what you think about it. It means a lot and it's very encouraging. Make my day. :D I promise you'll like this chapter...So show your appreciation. XD**

**I dedicate this chapter to my ~darling. She knows who she is. 3 **

**And I wish I would've sent it to her before publishing this, because I am already freaking out wondering if this chapter was good enough to publish. (She's sort of my beta.)**

**Thank you for reading this far. I hope you enjoy the chapter. I know I enjoyed writing it. :)**

The smell of sticky cotton candy, roasting peanuts, hamburgers, pretzels, and other foods wafted through the air. There was a strong enough breeze to carry the mouth-watering scents. It was a hot day; the sun was shining viciously, making the people wandering around the fair glad that there was a breeze.

"It's so bright outside," Adam complained, his eyes squinted.

"I told you to bring sunglasses," Lawrence said. He took Diana's hand and led her past the fair games, ignoring her plead. The games were expensive with cheap prizes and it was hard to win. He wasn't going to waste their time. They'd paid twenty dollars each for a paper armband, which would allow them to go on all the rides.

"Sunglasses don't flatter me," Adam grumbled. Lawrence rolled his eyes. He knew that Adam was secretly bubbling with excitement. The boy loved fairs.

"Which ride should we go on first?" Lawrence asked Diana. She looked around wildly, her pigtails whipping at either side of her head. She wore a blue checkered sundress with huge yellow sunflowers printed on it, and a pair of white sneakers. On her face was a pair of sparkly yellow sunglasses.

"That one!" she yelled over the noise of people talking, music blasting, and chefs shouting their advertisements for food. Lawrence and Adam both looked over at a ride called 'Orbit'. It was a large metal ride that connected to six white boxes. The boxes could seat four people, and at the moment the ride was still. Children, teenagers, and adults were walking through the 'exit' gate.

"Alright," Lawrence agreed. They got in line. It was a short line, so they were able to hop into a box easily without wait. Adam sat beside Diana, and Lawrence sat in front of them. Lawrence saw that Diana was nervous. Her eyes were wide, and she couldn't sit still. She would look around at the people, squirm in her seat, play with the seatbelt, and heave huge sighs.

Adam, meanwhile, was slumped in his seat, his elbow on the edge of the box, his head rested against his fist. He was as calm and cool as a cucumber.

"Don't worry, Diana. It's just a ride. Adam's next to you, and I'm beside you. You're as safe as can be," Lawrence assured, reaching over and giving her hand a squeeze. She smiled brightly at him, and the man who controlled the ride walked over. He closed their little door and locked it, then leaned over and pulled their safety bars down. There were no lap-belts. The bar for Adam and Diana's seat was very shaky and unstable. Doubt and worry crossed Adam's face, and pure terror flashed across Diana's as the music began blaring.

The ride lifted into the air. It went a lot higher than they thought it would. It suddenly flipped over so that Diana and Adam were nearly lying on their backs in the seat. Immediately, they both started panicking, while Lawrence sat calmly in the seat.

"Oh my fucking God, oh fuck, oh fuck," Adam yelled, gripping his bar tightly. Diana started crying a little.

"Adam, watch your language and calm down, you're scaring Diana," Lawrence ordered as their boxes began whipping around.

"I'm going to fall out! I'm going to fall out!" Adam shouted. And, indeed, it looked like he was about to slide right out of the seat. Diana was hunched over with her arms wrapped entirely around the bar. Lawrence leaned over and grabbed Adam's knee, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

"No, you're not. It only feels like you are," Lawrence said, though he wasn't completely sure. Either way, he sat back and enjoyed the ride. It was fast with sudden drops, and even stopped to abruptly fly backwards a few times. It gave Lawrence a rush of adrenaline, and he grinned at Adam, who looked like he'd kill someone just to get off the ride.

After an exhilarating two and a half minutes, the ride came to an end, and the trio got off the ride. Diana immediately began chattering about how the ride had been scary at first, but then came to enjoy it, and really wanted to go on again.

"Maybe later; let's try out the other rides," Lawrence said. He looked over at Adam, smirking.

"You're afraid of suspended heights?" he asked. Adam glared at him, and stormed over to a crazy, wild looking ride. It was a very tall, metal machine. All along the metal bar were about twenty cages with enough room to fit two people in each cage. It was extremely fast, and flipped the cages upside down constantly. Lawrence was a little nervous, and Diana wasn't tall enough.

"You go ahead. Diana's too short, anyway," Lawrence said, trying to talk his way out of going on the ride. Adam put his hands on his hips, giving Lawrence a smug look.

"What, is the doctor scared?" he asked challengingly. Lawrence rolled his eyes.

"No, I'm not afraid of a stupid ride," he replied.

"Then go on with me. I can't go on alone, because I refuse to sit with a random stranger," Adam said. Lawrence looked over to find Diana talking cheerfully to a little girl she went to school with. The girl was begging Diana to go on 'The Dancing Bears' with her.

"Diana, go ahead and go on 'The Dancing Bears'. I'll ride with Adam on this. I'll wait for you at the exit of your ride. Don't walk off with anyone, and don't talk to strangers," Lawrence said. He glanced over at 'The Dancing Bears'. The line was long enough that Lawrence knew he and Adam would be off the ride just as Diana and her friend got on theirs. Diana nodded and ran off with the chubby blonde girl.

"Let's get this over with," Lawrence sighed. The line was short, and after watching two turns nervously, Adam was leading him to their cage. Adam clambered onto the seat, and Lawrence gracefully got into his. They were facing each other. The worker came over and pulled their lap bars down before slamming their cage door shut and locking it from the outside.

"You don't like heights; I don't like loops," Lawrence said, noticing Adam's smirk. Adam relaxed against the seat as the ride began moving up at a slow pace; it wasn't actually starting, the man was just moving the other cages down to load in more riders. Lawrence's palms were starting to grow sweaty. It wasn't that he was afraid of rides. He just didn't believe that fair rides were safe or stable. How could they be? They were taken apart in one day only to be dragged somewhere else to be quickly thrown back together.

But Adam looked completely excited. There was a grin on his pale face, and he was staring at Lawrence with a merry sparkle in his eyes. Seeing him so happy calmed Lawrence down, and he was able to return the smile. And then the ride jolted violently to a stop.

"Ah! Scrumptious fudge nuggets!" Lawrence yelped. Adam blinked, startled by his sudden outburst. Then, an amused grin spread slowly across his face.

"What the hell did you just say?" Adam asked, stifling a laugh. Lawrence blushed, unable to hide his grin.

"Sorry – Diana says it a lot, and I guess it sort of popped out of my subconscious," he explained, embarrassed. Adam laughed. He laughed so hard that he doubled over, gasping for breath, and soon Lawrence was laughing too. Adam had a wonderful laugh. It was so loud, cheerful, and absolutely contagious. He wanted to make Adam laugh again. It spread joyous warmth throughout his body, and if there had been room, he would've pulled the thin man into a hug.

The ride went well, despite Lawrence's occasional yelps of shock as the entire cage flipped over. It was a fast ride and not very enjoyable, in Lawrence's opinion. Apparently Adam thought it was fun – he whooped and grinned the entire time. While Adam took pleasure from the ride like most people would have, Lawrence only gained a headache.

When it was over, Lawrence and Adam walked through the exit gate and searched for Diana. She and her friend were just getting onto the ride, so the two men made their way over to the kiddie ride.

"What ride should we go on next, after Diana gets off the 'Dancing Bears'?" Lawrence asked Adam as they stood with the other waiting parents. Adam, smiling, looked around.

"What would I like to ride? Why, I'd _love _to ride _you_...Lawrence!" he exclaimed. Lawrence rolled his eyes.

"Adam, don't be perverted in public, especially around children…It's embarrassing," Lawrence chided. Adam grabbed Lawrence's arm and spun the older, stronger man around. He pointed towards one of the portable bathrooms. An elderly woman was laying face-down on the grass, her fingers and feet twitching. A child stood beside her, looking terrified and asking her if she was alright.

"Adam, wait here for Diana!" Lawrence yelled, running over. He nearly tripped over a thick black wire in the process, but luckily he only stumbled a little and continued running. By now, a crowd was forming, and people were shouting random things. He knelt down beside the woman, and a bald man grabbed Lawrence's shoulder roughly, to pull him away.

"I'm a doctor, don't touch me!" Lawrence snapped, shoving the man's hand away.

"Everyone, get out of the way; give some space. The man's a doctor," the bald man roared. Immediately, the people backed away about five feet. Lawrence gently rolled the woman over and felt for a pulse. He didn't feel one. Lawrence leaned over the women and began CPR, closing his eyes in concentration.

He wasn't a paramedic, and had only gone over CPR maybe three times in his life. All three times were quick and vague, but he did remember an interesting and extremely helpful fact. When doing CPR, you can perform it correctly if you do it to the beat of 'Staying Alive' or 'Another One Bites the Dust'. Of course, you obviously don't have to think of the songs; if you're a professional and know how to do it easily, then that's good. But Lawrence wasn't perfectly skilled. He was an oncologist, a surgeon, and his memory on learned CPR was vague.

_Whether you're a brother  
or whether you're a mother  
you're stayin' alive, stayin' alive  
Feel the city breakin  
and everybody shakin'  
and were stayin' alive, stayin' alive  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive, stayin' alive  
Ah, ha, ha, ha, stayin' alive._

Lyrics of the song flooded into his mind, and he gratefully used it as the memory of the beat took over his arms, allowing him to be correct as he pumped his fists against her chest, right over her heart. Adrenaline coursed through his veins, and sweat streamed down his back and chest. CPR wasn't as easy as it looked in the movies. It was hard, exhausting work. In the morning, he'd be very sore. He had to be careful not to break her ribs, which he'd do if necessary.

His eyes opened and he glanced upward. Adam was standing about six feet away, his hands on Diana's shoulders. He watched anxiously with mild curiosity and interest. Diana looked a little worried. His focus immediately returned to the woman.

"Did anyone call for the paramedics?" he asked, watching the woman's face. Her eyes suddenly fluttered open and she made a snort-sounding breath. A paramedic sprinted over and knelt down by the woman's side, grabbing her wrist.

"You've got a pulse. Very jumpy, but it's better than no pulse at all. She'll make it," the paramedic told Lawrence, who finally stopped. He sat there wearily, letting his arms and shoulders relax. Two other paramedics raced over with a stretcher, which they slid the woman onto.

"Thank…you," the old woman wheezed, looking at Lawrence with a faint smile. Lawrence returned the smile.

"Please don't talk for right now, ma'am," a paramedic said. They took her away to an ambulance, and within a minute, a wailing siren was heard.

There was a silence, and then the large crowd that had gathered burst into applause. The bald man and a younger man helped Lawrence up, clapping his back a few times. He made his way over to Adam and Diana.

Adam looked stunned and awe-stricken. His eyes were wide and full of…pride.

"Lawrence…that…that was fucking _amazing; _it was like watching a movie! You saved that woman's life," Adam exclaimed. Diana hugged her father, burying her head against his waist.

"Yay, Daddy!" she squealed. The crowd had moved onto their own business, continuing on with their lives. Lawrence grinned at Adam, and before he could even blink, Adam had his lips crushed against Lawrence's. It was a rough, quick kiss. After all, they were in public and surrounded by children. But the kiss said it all. Adam was proud and excited. When Adam pulled away after a mere two seconds, Lawrence stared at him, dazed and grinning.

"I'm going to go get you guys some cotton candy, alright?" Lawrence said, wiping sweat from his face with a throbbing, aching arm. Both Adam and Diana cheered, so he walked away, joining the line.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Adam, I want to go to the haunted house!" Diana cried, pointing at a fun house decorated with spooky, dark Halloween decorations. Adam licked his lips, tasting Lawrence's salty sweat, and cringed. It would be dark in there; very dark. But Diana was looking up at him with those huge, innocent, adorable eyes. He looked over at Lawrence. The line was really long. He wouldn't be back for another fifteen minutes or so. He glanced back down at Diana, running his fingers through his already unruly hair.

"Fine," he gave in, fear biting at his mind. But he just couldn't say no to the little girl, who whooped excitedly and grabbed his hand. She led him quickly to the 'fun house', which had no line; people just entered. Diana ran him up the metal ramp and into the fun house. As Adam predicted, it was pitch-black…And extremely cold. They had cold air bursting into their faces. Now he wasn't just afraid, as they ventured deeper into the house, hearing moaning and chains rattling. He was _terrified, _on the verge of panic.

Diana suddenly released Adam's hand and dashed off, giggling wildly.

"Diana, come back!" Adam screamed, his voice borderline hysterical. "Don't…Don't leave me!"

But the little girl disappeared, leaving Adam alone in the freezing, dark room. He heard footsteps…not little girl footsteps, but slow, heavy footsteps. His breathing hitched, and he began backing into a corner, eyes widening, a cold sweat breaking out all over his body. A man jumped out at him with a roaring chainsaw, and Adam swung out, punching him in the face, hard. The man shouted out in pain and shock, falling over, and Adam leaped over his crumpled body, racing blindly into the darkness, beginning to hyperventilate.

Finally, lost, confused, and panicking, Adam sank into a corner, curling into a tight ball. Tears trickled down his pale cheeks, and he hyperventilated, looking around wildly like a terrified rabbit.

Chains

_Lawrence's chains…_

rattled loudly. Crazy laughter

_Jigsaw's crazy, mocking laughter…_

echoed throughout the fun house. Not an ounce of light

_Of course there was no light; he was locked in the bathroom, there was only darkness…_

shone in the place. He could hear screaming

_his own pained, pleading screams_

from around the corners…or wherever they were coming from. Adam squeezed his eyes shut, feeling lightheaded from hyperventilating, which he was still doing. Cold fear gripped painfully tight at his stomach and heart.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Here's your cotton candy, sweet heart," Lawrence said, smiling, handing the bag of cotton candy to Diana. There were two big clouds of pink cotton candy and two big clouds of blue cotton candy in the bag. He didn't even want to think about how unhealthy this was. Diana thanked him cheerfully and took her bag, immediately opening it and stuffing a piece of fluffy pink candy into her mouth. It melted quickly, and pure bliss was clear on her face.

He glanced around, noticing the absence of the young man.

"Where'd Adam go? Why'd he leave you here by yourself?" he asked. Diana shrugged, her mouth stuffed with the fluffy sugar. She waited for it to melt on her tongue, and then swallowed.

"I dunno, Daddy. I guess he's still in the haunted house. I think I got out before him," she replied, licking her sticky fingers. He frowned.

"Honey, don't lick your fingers; they're dirty from touching rides and things all day," he said absently, staring at the haunted house. There were no windows to see inside. There was only one way in, and the windowless door was shut. The only exit's door was shut as well, and there was nobody standing on the ramp. He had a bad feeling about this.

"Diana, I'm going to go find him, alright? I want you to sit right there on that exit ramp of the haunted house. Don't move, don't talk to strangers, don't walk away with anyone, and don't accept things from anyone. If anyone tries to touch you or scare you, scream at the top of your lungs, alright?" he said, quickly leading her to the exit ramp where Adam should've been by now. Diana nodded and sat down, continuing to eat her cotton candy.

When he walked into the haunted house through the entrance door, he knew immediately that Adam would not be okay. It was so dark that Lawrence couldn't see his hand in front of his own face, and it was cold enough to send goose bumps spreading across his arms and neck. The hair on his arms rose, and he began walking, waiting for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

He'd walked for about two minutes, ignoring the people who jumped out at him, the sounds of chains, moans, and laughter, before he heard Adam's hyperventilating. Lawrence quickly knelt down in front of him. He tugged his cell phone out of his pocket and flipped it open, shining the light on the boy. He was as pale as a corpse, his eyes screwed shut. He was shaking uncontrollably, and his body was slick with sweat.

"Adam," Lawrence said softly, brushing his hand across Adam's sweaty cheek. The boy flinched violently with a sob, and his eyes flashed open. When he saw it was Lawrence, he practically melted into Lawrence's arms. Lawrence scooped him up and carried him through the haunted house bridal style. Within moments, Lawrence had found the exit, and he lowered Adam to the metal ramp, where the boy buried his face into his knees and sobbed, his body still quaking.

"Diana, why would you make him go inside?" Lawrence asked, unable to feel a little angry and upset with her. Diana looked over at Adam, concern shining in her eyes. She looked back up at her father, slowly standing up.

"I'm sorry, Daddy," she said, sounding genuine. Lawrence sighed, sitting down beside Adam. He rubbed his back comfortingly until he calmed down.

"I'm sorry, Adam," Diana said sadly, wrapping her arms around Adam's neck. Adam raised his head eventually and shook it.

"Don't be, it's okay, I'm…I'm alright," he said, his voice uneven and husky. He stood up, and Lawrence put his arm around Adam's waist.

They went on the Ferris Wheel next. Lawrence didn't talk about the haunted house, and neither did Adam or Diana. Father and daughter knew that Adam wouldn't want to talk about; that he'd be humiliated. Along the way, Diana decided she would sit this one out; she was feeling nauseas from the heat and candy. So Adam and Lawrence went on alone. It was a two-seater ride, anyway.

Lawrence had forgotten about Adam's fear of heights. So when the boy started fidgeting nervously when they approached the top, Lawrence apologized quickly.

"Oh, Adam, I'm so sorry. I completely forgot that you're afraid of heights," Lawrence said. Adam ignored his apology and merely stared out at the lake and trees. It was gorgeous from this height. The wind was blowing at the perfect strength, letting them smell the different types of frying, grilling, cooking food down below. The lake sparkled almost blindingly bright, and the many trees swayed gently in the wind.

It was relaxing; Lawrence could've stayed up this high all day. People crowded the fair like ants at a picnic, and they looked just as small from this high up. He could see Diana sitting on a curb staring at the road. He could hear bells ringing loudly from the game stations, and the sounds of people shrieking with joy on the various rides.

"I feel so…stupid. I'm afraid of almost everything. It's embarrassing…no, humiliating. I don't mean to be such a burden. I…I hate it so much," Adam mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Lawrence looked over at him.

"Adam, don't. You aren't stupid. You're traumatized. Anyone who would've been in your situation – "

"Don't even feed me that bullshit. You're totally fine, and you were locked in that fucking room, too!" Adam snapped.

"Not for two more days," Lawrence pointed out. Adam said nothing, so Lawrence continued with what he'd been saying before he'd been interrupted.

"Anyone who would've been in your situation would be just how you are now, Adam. It's only obvious that you would be afraid of the dark. You were locked in complete darkness for two days with a bullet wound in your shoulder, a psycho mocking you from inside and outside of the room, and you were alone. Nightmares, night terrors, and panic attacks are common symptoms that people suffer after a traumatizing event like that. Not only did you go through with the bathroom incident, but you had been shot, kidnapped, drugged, and you have had an awful childhood. I'm shocked that you aren't completely insane, to be honest," Lawrence said calmly and evenly, careful to make sure his voice didn't sound teasing or chiding.

Adam had nothing to say. Or maybe there was just nothing he wanted to say. He leaned against Lawrence, who immediately put a strong arm around him, holding him close. Together, they silently watched the sunset as the Ferris Wheel slowly began rising higher.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For the rest of the night, Adam, Lawrence, and Diana enjoyed every ride they could go on. There were no more shocking or upsetting events; only fun, excitement, and laughs. They dined on giant pretzels, 'elephant – ears', funnel cake, hotdogs, smoothies, and chips until they were stuffed. Diana ended up throwing up her smoothie after stumbling off of an exhilarating, spinning ride. But that didn't end their evening. They rode on every ride, and even stayed to watch the ten o' clock firework show. Diana sat on Adam's shoulders; Lawrence was too sore. And to Lawrence's pleasure and surprise, Adam held Lawrence's hand.

They left the fair when it closed at eleven o' clock. Exhausted, sunburned, and hyped up from their time at the fair, the three of them showered quickly when they got home, changed into pajamas, and enjoyed a movie together. Lawrence lay across the couch with Adam pressed against his chest. Diana was asleep sprawled across his back, her head resting on his neck. He inhaled the sweet smell of Adam's mint and fig scented shampoo. It sounded like a strange combination, but it was very calming and refreshing. His arm wrapped tightly around the boy's waist, holding him closer to his body. Adam didn't mind; he happily soaked up the doctor's body heat.

"I had a lot of fun today," Lawrence murmured.

"We all did," Adam replied, his eyes barely able to stay open. His finger pressed against the power button of the remote, and the television shut off. He let the remote fall from his hand; it hit the carpet softly with a quiet thud.

"I'm glad. That was the whole point of going," Lawrence said. There was a long, comfortable silence. He was about to drift off to sleep when Adam's quiet voice broke the silence.

"Lawrence?" he asked. Lawrence could feel Adam fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. He knew the kid was going to say something important, emotional, or serious.

"Yes?" Lawrence asked, his sleepy eyes opening once more.

"Remember when you told me you loved me…in the kitchen…that one time?" Adam asked, his voice barely above a whisper. His voice rumbled against Lawrence's chest.

"Of course," Lawrence replied. Adam hesitated.

"Do you still love me?" he asked. Lawrence smiled.

"I do…I always will," the doctor said affectionately. Adam's head turned so that he was looking at Lawrence. He was blushing.

"Lawrence, I love you, too," he whispered. A little bit of fear flashed across his face, but it was gone within a second.

"Why do you look afraid?" Lawrence asked, leaning his face closer. He could smell Adam's minty breath.

"I…I don't want to lose you," the boy admitted sadly. Lawrence captured Adam's lips with his own. He kissed him tenderly at first, then deepened the kiss. It was slow and passionate, expressing love and promise. Adam's hand found the back of Lawrence's neck, and he slid his fingers through the soft blonde hair. His lips parted, and Adam's tongue swept across Lawrence's lower lip before entering his mouth. Adam tasted of mint, but there was a sweet hint of the beer Adam had drunk before brushing his teeth.

Lawrence eventually removed his mouth from Adam's, allowing them both to fill their lungs with air. He pressed a kiss against the hollow of Adam's neck, his tongue tracing Adam's collarbone, making the young man let out a quiet moan, tilting his head back further.

"You will never lose me. I will never let you go. You are mine, and I am yours, and that's how it will stay," Lawrence promised, his voice dripping with affection. Adam opened his eyes. They were shining with tears. But not of fear or sadness.

"I love you, Lawrence…So much," Adam whispered. Lawrence smiled, pressing a kiss to Adam's lips once more.

"And I love you," Lawrence replied. He watched Adam's eyes close, listened to him take a deep, shaky breath, and eventually closed his own eyes.

Lying here on this couch, holding him so close and securely, feeling such love and affection…It was everything he'd ever wanted and more. Adam was his. And he was Adam's. That was enough to make his heart swell with overwhelming happiness and fill his body with warmth. He held Adam closer and felt the boy shift comfortably against his warm, firm chest. He was asleep, and soon Lawrence was, too.

**Would you like some smut? Then REVIEW...please? :) The next chapter will definitely include it...if you review. Muahaha. xD Just kidding...It will, no matter what. It must be appalling...A story of eleven chapters and no sex so far. Chapter 12 seems very promising in my mind. Thank you so much for reading. I hope you enjoyed it! :D I know that I only wish I had made Adam a lot funnier in this chapter...Unfortunately, no ideas came to mind. So the next chapter will definitely have a ton of humor and possibly smut. ;D Goodnight!**


	12. Chapter 12: I Love You

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Okay, so here's chapter twelve. There are a few things I'd like to say. First off, this chapter is longer than the last by about a hundred or so words. Second: I honestly meant to have Adam and Lawrence go to the nightclub like Adam had said. But by the time Lawrence warded off the waitress, it was already six pages long, and there are people who won't read a story if it's too long. So I quickly wrapped up the dinner to make room for the hot smut I promised. :D Thirdly, this was my first time EVER writing gay or anal sex. So any opinions are welcomed happily. I'd love to know what you guys thought about their first love-making. xD **

**Anyway, enjoy this chapter. ^^ Thanks for reading this far. xD**

It occurred to Lawrence that he and Adam had never been on a date. It was only a few days after they visited the fair, and Lawrence was at work. The sunlight poured into the room through the open window, and he sat at the chair by his metal desk, which was neatly organized. A breeze caused the blinds to clack together softly, and Lawrence found himself mesmerized by his settings. It was the perfect temperature outside, and his office was clean and quiet. It was refreshing…calming, even. It was definitely different from the loud, cheerful setting of his apartment.

Most people loathed the hospital scent. But not Lawrence; he enjoyed the immensely clean and crisp scent. He felt like he'd just taken a shower. He felt pure mentally and physically. It was a wonderful feeling.

Lawrence glanced down at his large pile of paperwork, which he had _finally _completed and organized. It was a slow day at the hospital for once, so he'd taken the opportunity to tackle the paperwork. His mind wandered back over to Adam. Adam loved him, he knew that now. Technically they were lovers. They'd shared a few passionate kisses since that night. But they'd never had an official date. The fair didn't count, because they hadn't been lovers.

His eyes closed and he inhaled deeply through his nose, relaxing his shoulders as he exhaled. He wanted to take Adam out to dinner; and not to a loud, boisterous restaurant, but a formal one. His heart skipped a beat at the thought of Adam in a tux, and he was overwhelmed by a sudden burst of lust. Yes, he was definitely going to take Adam out to dinner…tonight.

The doctor reached out and grabbed the shiny black telephone and held it to his ear as he opened up the internet on his laptop. He pulled up a few restaurant web pages until he saw one he liked. He poked at the number keys on the base of the phone and listened to the ring. A young, polite woman answered.

"Good afternoon. I'd like to make a reservation for two. Six o' clock tonight would be perfect. Thank you very much," Lawrence said, his voice taking on his professional, formal tone he usually used when speaking to patients or people of important status. He hung up the phone with a grin on his face.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"No way," Adam said bluntly from where he laid on the couch, a game system controller in his hands. His eyes were focused on the television screen, which displayed a run-down, poverty-stricken town. A man in army attire leaped out of nowhere and began shooting at the screen. Adam's thumbs furiously and rapidly hit the brightly colored buttons on the controller, and he lurched forward, his heavy headphones hanging around his neck falling off and hitting the floor. His eyes were wide and excited. Apparently, it was a first-person shooting game, Lawrence noted, seeing as two arms holding a machine gun were Adam's 'man'.

He also noted Adam's camera resting on the glass coffee table. The lens cap was hanging off; Adam had used it today. He wondered for what. Perhaps Adam would show him later. Lawrence was startled out of his thoughts by Adam's sudden angry outburst.

"What the fucking hell! That is complete bullshit! I shot him four times at point-blank range! I saw it! How the fuck did I die?" Adam shouted, glaring at the screen, which glowed red. Flashing letters spelled out 'you failed the mission'. He threw the controller onto the carpeted floor and leaned forward, shutting down the game system.

"Adam, come on. This is something I really want," Lawrence said, standing a few feet from the couch. Adam picked up his headphones and hung them back around his neck.

"No. I'm not going to get all dressed up to sit at a restaurant full of cold, boring people and eat bland, expensive food," Adam said stubbornly, looking up at Lawrence. He didn't look as tired as he usually did. The bags under his eyes were gone, and he'd gained some color in his face. His hair was a complete wreck, as usual, and his attire was something a hobo would wear; a pair of black cotton sweatpants, which, Lawrence noticed, hung low on his hips, and a stained white T-shirt. It looked like dirt and grass stains. Also, he was barefoot.

"It's not like that. I know a really excellent restaurant that serves delicious foods. You'll beg me to take you again someday. Please? Just give it a try," Lawrence insisted. Adam licked his lips and studied Lawrence. He was silent for a long moment.

"What about Diana?" he asked grudgingly. Lawrence fought back a triumphant smile.

"My neighbor, Sue, will watch her for us. She has a little daughter named Claudia. Diana and Claudia are good friends," Lawrence replied. Once again, Adam was silent. He shifted uncomfortably on the couch and fidgeted with the hem of his T-shirt. Suddenly, his lips quirked upwards mischievously, and his eyes narrowed in a way that made them seem darker. The look on Adam's face caused a lustful heat to flash across Lawrence's groin.

"Fine, I'll go to dinner with you. On one condition," Adam said. Lawrence doubted he'd like the condition.

"And what would that be?" he asked dubiously. Adam rolled off the couch and stood up, running his fingers through his dark, tousled hair. His shirt tugged up, exposing delicious hip-bones and a lightly toned stomach. Lawrence's mouth went dry. He knew Adam was doing this on purpose, and he couldn't help but fall for it.

"After dinner, I take you to a nightclub…Where we'll dance," Adam said, that smirk rising once more. Lawrence gaped at him. He had no idea that Adam liked to dance. Second, Lawrence didn't dance. He was a terrible dancer and he felt awkward in situations where he was expected to dance.

"No," Lawrence said immediately. Adam shrugged nonchalantly, his smirk replaced by a lazy grin.

"No dance, no dinner. You want to take me to your fancy schmancy restaurant, I take you to a beastly nightclub," Adam said airily, as if saying 'your loss, not mine.' Lawrence scowled. The thought of having to dance in front of Adam made his palms sweat. He didn't want to humiliate himself…But he wanted to take Adam to dinner.

The boy was walking away with his camera. Lawrence hurried over and grabbed his thin wrist, turning him around.

"Fine, I'll go," Lawrence said regretfully. Adam graced him with the same sensual smirk, looking up at him through half-lidded eyes. Holding onto his shoulder, Adam leaned in and kissed the side of Lawrence's neck.

"There had better be breadsticks at your damn restaurant," Adam rumbled against Lawrence's flesh, causing the doctor's breath to catch. Adam bit down on the flesh that connected the shoulder and the side of Lawrence's neck, causing the taller man to moan quietly. Feeling dizzy, his cock starting to harden, Lawrence gently pulled away from his lover. He refused to go to dinner with a hickey. Adam smirked, as if reading his mind, and left the apartment to get ready.

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After he'd dropped Diana off at the neighbor's apartment with her overnight bag, Lawrence drove over to Adam's apartment. By now, it was about five thirty. He was hoping Adam was ready. They had to be at the restaurant by six. He got out of his car, locked it, and made his way into the apartment. It was a dirty, run-down place meant for people with very low income, or even none at all. As he jogged up the stairs of the apartment, he could hear babies crying, people shouting at one another, dogs barking wildly, and loud music. How anyone could live here was beyond him. It reminded him to be lucky for what he had.

Lawrence knocked on Adam's door as hard and loud as he could. He was dressed in a charcoal colored suit that cost about eight hundred dollars, and a baby blue silk tie. He heard music blasting from inside the kid's apartment. The music suddenly shut off, and he heard footsteps approaching the wooden door, which swung open seconds later.

Lawrence's mouth literally dropped open at the sight before him.

There stood Adam, freshly shaved and showered, his dark hair combed, and wearing a black tux. He wore black dress pants and shoes, a crisp white collared, long-sleeved, button-down dress shirt, every button closed except for the first one, a nice black jacket, and a black silk bow-tie. The jacket was buttoned to the top and it hugged his torso in a flattering way.

He looked stunning and gorgeous, perfectly-well groomed, and simply excellent. Adam, unnerved by Lawrence's silent stare, shifted uncomfortably and began fidgeting with his tie.

"Why are you looking at me like that? If I…If I don't look good enough, I can just go change. I mean, honestly," Adam mumbled, blushing, his gaze falling to the cement floor outside his room dismally. Lawrence's eyes widened.

"No! Adam…You look...so amazing. I can't even describe how perfect…It's just…You see…Oh, screw it, Adam; you look sexy, handsome, classy, and gorgeous all at the same time. Where'd you even get the tux?" Lawrence said, tripping over his words, dazed by Adam's appearance. Adam was blushing by now, fidgeting with the hem of his jacket.

"Th-Thanks…I just found it at the back of my closet," he replied, giving the other man an awkward, lopsided grin. His eyes were trailing up and down Lawrence's body, and a soft expression appeared on his face – a look Lawrence had never seen on the boy's face and couldn't identify. Before he could study it any further, Adam stepped out of his apartment and shut and locked the door behind him.

"Well, time to sit near some cranky old hags and listen to classical music until I stab myself through the eye with a steak knife just to end my misery. And I swear to God, if there's no breadsticks, I'm going to be so damn angry. And I'm not talking about the dry, hard, cheap breadsticks. I'm talkin' 'bout the really warm, delicious, buttery ones," Adam chattered as he walked towards the stairs.

Lawrence only grinned and followed, listening to Adam's long speech about breadsticks.

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They were seated almost immediately once they got there. The restaurant was simply beautiful, as Lawrence had been hoping. The lights were slightly dimmed, but every table had a small glass bowl containing a lit candle. The floor was a thick, deep red-wine colored carpet, and the walls were a dark cream color, giving the restaurant a warm, cozy feeling. A huge Waterford crystal chandelier hung from the ceiling, a piece that must've cost _thousands. _The light reflected off of the crystals, sending sparkling rainbows dancing across the walls.

As the couple were led to a table, they passed by marvelous stone, intricate fountains, exotic plants, and gorgeous paintings. The tables were made of mahogany wood and were covered by a cream colored silk tablecloth. Soft, classical music played lightly, and people chattered quietly amongst themselves. Every customer was dressed formally, of course. There were no families, really; just couples, businessmen and women, and other people of importance.

They sat down at a table and were given heavy menus. Each meal was printed on the menu in cursive, small letters. The waitress lingered, smiling flirtatiously at Adam, her cheeks turning a pretty rosy color. Adam glanced up at her, and returned the smile. The young girl around Adam's age was now quite obviously swooning. Her voice shook slightly as she spoke.

"Good evening…My name's Melissa, and I'll be your server for tonight. What drinks would you two like?" she asked, that love-sick smile still on her face. She was a lovely girl, all right. She was about an inch shorter than Adam with long, wavy black hair and huge green eyes. Her flesh was tan, and she looked very Italian. Melissa was a petite girl with a chest that would definitely turn heads. Her eyes remained on Adam the entire time she spoke.

Lawrence was growing a little irritated. He couldn't help it. This young beauty was checking out _his _Adam, who was completely oblivious and searching the menu for breadsticks. He fought the urge to snap at her, but instead told her,

"I'll have water, please," through gritted teeth. Adam glanced at him briefly, hearing the agitation, and looked up at the girl, whose smile widened.

"I want a coke. Do you guys have breadsticks here?" he said. At the sound of his voice, Melissa blushed even more.

"N-No, but we do serve bread as an appetizer…free of charge, of course," she said, the fingers of her left hand playing with a few strands of her hair.

"Fuck it all," Adam grumbled, slumping in his seat. The girl giggled.

"Is there an appetizer you'd like instead?" she asked, her eyes still trained on Adam, who was glowering at Lawrence. Adam studied the menu again, and then looked back up at her.

"Not – "

His arm whipped out and he caught the girl's small, spare black notebook before it could hit the floor. Lawrence jerked, startled and awed by Adam's amazing reflexes. The waitress blinked, her eyes widening. Neither she nor Lawrence had even noticed the spare notebook falling from the pocket of her hip-apron. But somehow Adam had, and he'd caught it, his reflexes quick enough to impress a cat. He handed the book to the girl, who was all flustered. Her fingers purposefully brushed against Adam's hand as she took the book.

"Oh! Oh my God! That…That was amazing…Thank you," she said excitedly, grinning. Adam blinked, looking at her, confused, and then at Lawrence.

"You can go now. That was all," Lawrence said shortly to the girl. She glanced at him, a little offended by the coldness of his tone, and hurried away with a final glance and smile at Adam.

Adam looked at Lawrence, surprised.

"What's with you?" he asked, playing with the fork. Lawrence rolled his eyes and shook his head.

"Nothing," he replied. The kid was so oblivious. Lawrence forced himself to relax. He had finally brought Adam to dinner, and he wasn't going to make it an unpleasant event. Adam was looking around the restaurant subtly, not really moving his head. He looked uncomfortable – it was obvious that he had never been somewhere as lavish as this restaurant.

"What'd you do today?" Lawrence asked. It was an easy, simple question, one that would surely calm Adam's nerves. And it worked. The boy relaxed slightly, his gaze focusing back onto Lawrence as he talked about his day.

"I walked around the city with Diana and took plenty of photos. People like cityscape pictures. So we basically toured the city. After walking around most of the day, we got some ice cream and went to Central Park. Central Park is like the best place for a photographer. It's beautiful, lively, and just full of life. Besides, Diana wanted to run around and follow the nature trails. I got a really good picture of her sitting up in a tree that you'll definitely want," Adam explained. It was the most he'd ever said without cussing, and Lawrence smiled.

The waitress walked back over with their drinks and set them down carefully on the table.

"Do you know what you'd like to order?" she asked, glancing briefly at Lawrence before staring at Adam. It was obvious that Adam was growing a little nervous by the girl's stares. He shifted uncomfortably in his chair, fidgeting with his napkin. Lawrence remembered Adam telling him how he didn't like people staring at him.

Lawrence glared at the girl, taking Adam's hand possessively. The girl's eyebrows shot up, surprised and confused. Adam raised his head and looked at Lawrence, blushing slightly.

"I'm going to have the ravioli dinner with the Caesar salad side. What about you, Adam?" Lawrence said. Adam licked his lips as he studied his menu.

"Ummm…I'll have the steak dinner with bread rolls," Adam replied. The waitress wrote down their orders, glancing unhappily at their hands, and left. Adam let out a sigh of relief.

"Jesus Christ," he mumbled, running his fingers absent-mindedly through his neat hair, mussing it up. Lawrence brushed his thumb across Adam's knuckles.

"I'm surprised," Lawrence said. Adam glanced at him.

"About what?" he asked. Lawrence smiled.

"I was expecting you to snap at her. She was staring at you so intensely," Lawrence replied. Adam shrugged, taking his hand back, once again eyeing his surroundings wearily.

"Yeah, it was starting to freak me out," he said.

"She was crushing on you, Adam," Lawrence told him. Adam blinked, startled by the statement, and stared at him.

"Really?" he asked, amusement creeping into his voice. Lawrence grinned.

"God, you're oblivious. She was checking you out the entire time," Lawrence said, chuckling. Adam blushed a little, grinning as well.

The rest of the dinner went well. As time went by, the tension and slight awkwardness slipped away, and the two grew used to their surroundings and each other's company. Their food came after a long period of time, in which Adam complained twice about the slow service and the fact that there were no breadsticks. But during the time it took for the food to come, Lawrence and Adam talked and joked. Adam was hilarious as usual; Lawrence hadn't laughed so hard or loud in his life. People had shot them irritated, dirty looks, and Adam had only smirked at them. At least he hadn't done anything crude such as showing them his middle finger or, god forbid, loudly cussing them out.

Lawrence was glad he'd taken Adam out to dinner. They had an excellent, fun evening. No awkward subjects came up, such as the bathroom or Adam's childhood. The waitress continued to blush every time she looked at Adam, but she no longer stared at him as intensely as she had done earlier, and she didn't linger.

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They walked into the apartment with full bellies, Adam chattering about a new game that was coming out. The game system was Diana's, and she had a stack of little girl games like 'My Little Pony Adventures', 'Kitchen Cuties', and 'Virtual Dolls'. Lawrence had bought a few games for Adam, including the first person shooting game. He'd heard Adam talking about them earlier in the month, so he'd just went out and bought them so that Adam would be entertained while Lawrence was at work.

He watched Adam, barely listening, studying the way Adam's facial expressions changed, the way the kid moved his hands in their air as he spoke, the way the corners of his lips would quirk up every now and then in a smirk. He felt an overwhelming sense of affection and love. Adam apparently noticed how Lawrence was looking at him but not speaking, and licked his lips.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?" Adam asked uneasily, taking off the jacket and tie, tossing them onto the couch. He stretched, letting out a sigh of relief now that those articles of clothing were off. The shirt tightened slightly against Adam's muscles when he stretched.

"I love you," Lawrence suddenly said, smiling warmly at him. Adam blinked, seeming startled for a moment. He then grinned at him.

"I…I love you, too," he replied. Adam flushed and turned away from Lawrence. There was a silence in which Lawrence tidied up the kitchen and Adam paced the living room. The boy raised his head and watched Lawrence, not speaking. Finally, he walked over to Lawrence slowly, looking hesitant.

"Can…Can you say that…again?" Adam asked tentatively. Lawrence blinked and glanced over at him. He studied Adam's face, noting the hint of sadness and guilt in those almond-shaped eyes. There was no smirk or playful smile on his face. He looked like a puppy that had just been kicked hard in the ribs.

"I love you, Adam," Lawrence said. He stepped forward and put his arms around Adam, pulling him close. Adam wrapped his arms around Lawrence's waist and rested his head against Lawrence's shoulder, absorbing the other man's body heat. He felt so safe and secure. The thought of stepping out of the embrace terrified him, and he held him tighter, his fingers digging into Lawrence's back.

"Lawrence…" Adam's throat closed.

"I love you," Lawrence whispered. "I promise."

Adam's left hand trailed up Lawrence's back and neck, coming to a stop at the back of Lawrence's head. His fingers twisted around the doctor's soft blonde hair and tugged the man's face to his own, kissing him deeply. Lawrence gladly accepted the kiss. His tongue swept across Adam's lower lip and entered the young man's mouth, tracing the sensitive roof of his mouth, causing Adam to shiver slightly.

The kiss finally broke after what seemed like years, and as Lawrence fought for breath, Adam's lips brushed across his jaw. Hesitantly, Lawrence untucked Adam's shirt from his pants and slowly began to unbutton it, looking at Adam as if for permission. What he saw completely turned him on.

Adam's dark hair, which had been neatly combed about half an hour ago, was now tousled and unruly, his bangs hovering over his eyes, which were half-closed and seemed twice as dark as usual, glistening with lust and desire, the pupils huge. His face was flushed, and he looked like he'd just rolled out of bed after a warm, relaxing slumber. Adam kept eye-contact with Lawrence as the doctor undid each button before leaning in for another kiss.

They stood in the kitchen, Adam shirtless, locked in their embrace, kissing passionately, growing rougher and more desperate with every few seconds. Adam tugged Lawrence's tie off rather harshly, and Lawrence bit at Adam's lower lip in return, though the kid seemed to find it more pleasurable than painful. It was when Adam tore off Lawrence shirt, completely ruining it as the buttons scattered across the tile that Lawrence broke the kiss and embrace.

"That was a three hundred dollar shirt you just destroyed," Lawrence commented breathlessly, his lips numb.

"I honestly don't give a shit right now," Adam replied, pulling Lawrence's belt off. He threw it carelessly to the floor, the metal smacking the tile loudly, and bit down on Lawrence's shoulder, the area that begins to connect with the neck. It was hard enough to leave a mark but it brought sexual pleasure at the same time. Adam pressed against Lawrence, and the doctor could feel the other man's erection pressing against his own. Apparently Adam could, too, for an absolutely sinful moan fell from Adam's lips. The sound was completely erotic, and his boxers grew damp with pre-come.

Lawrence refused to have sex on the kitchen floor amongst their clothes and his shirt's buttons; he dragged Adam to his bedroom. By the time they got inside, both men had stripped from their pants, boxers, and socks. Adam was back into Lawrence's arms once they were on the cool sheets of the bed. He lay beneath Lawrence, his hands groping at Lawrence's extremely warm body, rubbing at his biceps, shoulders, and chest as Lawrence crushed his lips to Adams again in a heated kiss.

Adam's tongue traced Lawrence's collarbone, causing the other man to shiver. Lawrence slid his hands across Adam's torso, feeling each lean muscle, and bit at Adam's nipple. The younger man gasped in pleasure and slight pain, his hands gripping tightly at Lawrence's wrists, which were now on either side of Adam's waist. Lawrence sucked it to ease the discomfort away before doing the same to the other. Adam's back was arching slightly, breathing rather heavily though it had just begun.

Lawrence trailed his lips down Adam's body, pressing hard kisses here and there and nipping at soft, pale flesh. His tongue felt along Adam's delicious hip bones, something he'd wanted to do ever since he'd seen Adam relaxing on the couch earlier that day in those low-cut sweatpants. He kissed the inside of Adam's thighs, and the younger man thrust his hips upward impatiently; Lawrence's lips were so close to the area that begged for attention.

The doctor pressed Adam's hips firmly against the mattress, brushing his lips up the length of Adam's cock. Adam whimpered.

"L-Lawrence…please," he begged breathlessly. Lawrence grinned up at him, raising his head to look at Adam's flushed face. A bead of sweat trickled down the side of Adam's face.

"Patience is a virtue," Lawrence teased. Adam groaned, throwing his head back as Lawrence licked at Adam again.

"Virtue my ass," Adam growled. He opened his mouth to say something else, probably something sarcastic or impatient, but Lawrence suddenly took Adam's cock into his mouth completely, the seeping head toward the back of his throat. Adam probably would've choked him if Lawrence hadn't shoved Adam's hips hard against the mattress, firmly holding him down; the kid's hips had bucked up involuntarily at the feeling, and he actually cried out in shock.

Lawrence sucked at his prick, ignoring the taste of bitter pre-come, his fingers digging deep into Adam's hips every time the younger man thrust upwards. He could tell that Adam was getting close, so he sat up, leaning over a panting, sweating Adam, and yanked open the drawer of the night table, pulling out a bottle of lube and a condom.

It wasn't that he believed Adam had any STD's. It was just that he knew Adam had done a lot of wrong things in his life, and he didn't know who Adam had screwed. So he quickly rolled the condom on and popped the lid of the lube open. He dipped his fingers inside the bottle, looking at Adam, who was watching him.

"This is going to hurt a little," Lawrence told him quietly, his voice husky from deep-throating. Adam nodded, gripping the sheets tightly once he rolled over onto his stomach. Lawrence eased a finger inside of Adam's entrance. Adam tensed, and Lawrence stopped, watching Adam carefully. The boy was holding his breath.

"Breathe, Adam," Lawrence murmured, leaning over and running his tongue down the curve of Adam's spine. Adam made a small sound of pleasure and Lawrence gently began to move his finger around to ease the tightness. Adam was in obvious discomfort for a moment or two, but he slowly relaxed, and Lawrence entered a second finger. He slid his fingers deeper and began to scissor them. Adam moaned, thrusting against Lawrence's fingers. He added a third finger and pushed further, hitting Adam's prostate.

Adam jerked, gripping the sheets even tighter, uttering erotic noises. Lawrence pulled his fingers out after a moment, smiling as the younger man made a sound of protest. He pulled Adam up a little and slowly slid his cock inside of him. He stilled, waiting for Adam to get used to him. He knew what Adam was probably feeling right now; a burst of mild pain and discomfort. But then Adam was groaning, pushing backward, and Lawrence began moving, gently at first, and then picking up speed.

His hand stroked and rubbed Adam's prick in rhythm to their thrusts, and Adam was crying out in complete ecstasy as Lawrence pushed harder and faster, slamming against his prostate over and over. Lawrence moaned, leaning forward and pressing a kiss against Adam's sweaty back.

"_Harder," _Adam begged, though he could barely even utter the word. He trembled and cried out again, and Lawrence obeyed, thrusting as hard as he could, speeding up. Though they both wanted this to last forever, Adam eventually came with a loud cry, riding out his orgasm as his come stained the sheets. They were at a pace that Lawrence knew would leave them very sore the next morning. The sounds Adam made as he rode out his orgasm were enough to throw Lawrence over the edge, and as he filled Adam with a gasp of his own, Adam shuddered violently at the sensation, moaning.

His energy and strength spent, Adam went limp in Lawrence's arms just as Lawrence finished his own orgasm. Lawrence pulled out of Adam and lay beside the young man whose spasms had finally worn off. They lay panting as they enjoyed their post-orgasm bliss. When Lawrence had the strength, he wrapped a strong arm around Adam's sweaty waist and dragged him closer, spooning against his body and pressing a kiss to his neck.

"I love you," Lawrence murmured.

"You, too," Adam mumbled, unable to string together a complete sentence. He shuddered once, and then fell asleep, Lawrence going to sleep soon after.

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The next morning, Lawrence woke up. Sometime during the night, he had rolled over onto his back, and Adam was sprawled across his torso. The kid's hair was sticking up in three different directions, and he was snoring lightly. Lawrence gently slid Adam off of him and got out of bed with a wince. He was definitely sore, feeling as though he had worked out vigorously the day before. Adam would feel even worse, assuming this was his first time having anal sex.

He looked at the digital clock by his bed. It was ten o' clock! He was supposed to pick up Diana at this time. Lawrence gently shook Adam's shoulder, but the boy didn't stir. He shook him harder. Adam finally made a low noise, his eyes cracking open at the very slightest.

"Adam, I have to go pick up Diana," he told him. Adam mumbled something incoherent, his eyes shutting again. Lawrence kissed his shoulder, and then dragged the blankets over his nude body. He then pulled on a pair of clean boxers, a pair of jeans, and a dark brown collared shirt. He desperately wanted – and needed – a shower. But he couldn't take one until after he picked his daughter up.

Once he was dressed and his teeth and hair were brushed, he hurried out of the apartment. Sue's room was only across the hall, and she was cheerful, despite the fact that Lawrence was ten minutes late. He thanked her profusely, taking Diana's hand, making sure she had everything. He had work this afternoon, so everything felt a bit rushed.

"What'd _you _do last night, Daddy?" Diana asked after she had finished chattering excitedly about the fun she'd had with Claudia. Lawrence finished putting her dirty clothes in the wash.

"Nothing much, I just went out to dinner with Adam," Lawrence replied. He grinned at the memory of their sex, though, and told Diana not to disturb Adam.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked, sitting down on her own bed and brushing her hair. Lawrence's grin widened, he was unable to hide it.

"Oh, he had a very rough night. He…He worked out really hard, so he's sore. Just don't wake him, sweetie," he told her, chuckling. He then pulled out 'Cinderella', and began reading to his beloved daughter.

**The few people who are reading this must be happy to finally read some sex. XDD What'd you think of it? I hope you liked this chapter, anyway. The next one is going to be hilarious...I'm so excited to begin writing it. Thank you for reading, and please review. ;D **


	13. Chapter 13: Silly Adam

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Alright, so this is a rather ridiculous chapter. Adam is new to this whole relationship thing, and he's terrified of messing up and losing Lawrence. So when Diana, Lawrence's one and only beloved daughter, gets hurt, Adam completely panics, because he hadn't been watching the child like he should have been. Mostly because he's very sore from the sex, hahah. Anyway, enjoy this silly chapter. Thanks for reading this far! I hope you guys are enjoying it. :)**

Adam woke up four hours later, his eyes opening slowly, squinting against the sunlight that poured from Lawrence's window. His body ached like hell, and his ass was painfully sore to the point where he didn't dare move. Memories from the previous night flooded into his mind, and he turned his head, half-expecting to see Lawrence lying naked beside him. But, of course, Lawrence was gone, probably at work.

He'd never had sex with a man before. And though he was very, very far from being a virgin, he had received the most mind blowing sex last night. It was purely amazing, and his cock twitched in agreement at the memory.

"Adam, Adam, Adam!"

A voice much, much too shrill for this early in the morning – well, actually it was early to mid afternoon, but he felt like he'd been hit by a car, so it didn't matter what time it was – echoed in the hallway outside the bedroom. The door flung open, and Diana leaped onto the bed.

"What?" he mumbled, his throat feeling scratchy. He'd screamed during his orgasm, and he was being cautious with the volume of his voice; he didn't want to lose it.

"Will you take me to Central Park? Please? Pretty please with rainbow sprinkles on top?" she begged, bouncing up and down. The bed shook slightly with her bounces, making him feel almost sea-sick in a way.

"Stop bouncing. I'm very sore, Diana, I doubt I can walk," he said, struggling to keep his patience. He loved her like a sister, but she was simply an annoying bubble of energy this afternoon.

"Oh, come on, Adam! You can just sit on a bench. Please, Adam? I really want to go," Diana pleaded, obeying his order to stop bouncing. Adam sighed, closing his eyes. As usual, he couldn't say no to the adorable little girl, daughter of his lover.

"Fine; just let me shower and stuff," he grumbled. Diana cheered and jumped off the bed, running out of the room and slamming the door behind her. Adam lay motionless on the bed, afraid to sit up. But it was for good cause, he supposed, forcing himself to get out of bed. His muscles shrieked in pain and discomfort, and he staggered, grabbing the bedpost to keep from crumpling to the floor.

Oh, shit, today was not going to go very well.

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Two hours later, Adam slowly eased himself down onto a wooden bench at Central park. It was painfully bright outside, and, unfortunately, there was not a speck of cloud in the sky. The sore young man squinted his eyes, stifling a yawn with one hand covering his mouth, and watched Diana run around chasing butterflies.

It was unpleasantly hot outside, and after twenty minutes of roasting in the sun, his plain white T-shirt was clinging to his sweaty body. He swiped at his face with one arm, becoming impatient and grumpy. Why the fuck was he sitting in the goddamn heat while Lawrence got to sit in air conditioning? Adam should've been lying in bed, still, or relaxing in a bath tub. But, no, he had unfortunately rolled out of bed and showered. He had brushed his teeth lethargically before practically crawling to the closet and throwing on the simple undershirt and the same sweatpants that had turned Lawrence on.

After he was looking decent enough to mingle with society, he'd stumbled his way to the car with Diana. At first, he could only take slow baby steps. But now he was capable of walking somewhat awkwardly. Running was out of the question unless he'd like a nice stab of hot discomfort up his ass.

The sex was perfect. The consequences? Not so perfect. It was like drinking alcohol; wonderfully delicious, but you have to deal with a hangover the next day.

A sudden scream startled him from his self-pitying thoughts, and he looked up. Diana lay in a crumpled heap at the base of a tree, which she had fallen out of. For a moment, he sat frozen in terror, staring at her. She wasn't moving, just screaming and clutching at her leg. He finally snapped out of his daze of horror and jumped up. Without thinking of where he was, he clutched at his ass with a wince of pain before hobbling as quickly as possible to her side.

Then there was the issue of having to kneel beside her. Panicked, he realized he was too sore to crouch down or bend over. He stood there, his mind whirling with emotion and thought. Eventually, he threw himself down onto his hands and knees, cursing loudly.

"Diana! Diana! Holy shit, are you okay?" he said, using one hand to roll her over onto her back. The sight of her ankle made him want to burst into hysterics…Which was exactly what he did. Her ankle was swelling badly, and she had gone completely pale, tears pouring down her face from huge, wide eyes.

"_Oh my fucking God! Holy shit! Oh Jesus fucking Christ. Your leg…your leg is broken! Oh God, what if you broke your neck? Or your back? Oh my fucking God! What do I do? What do I do? Lawrence is going to fucking kill me! I was supposed to be watching you! You're going to die, holy fucking shit," _Adam shouted, panicking.

Diana stared at him in horror.

"I'm going to die?" she wailed, sobbing. Adam scooped her up into his arms, tears shining in his own eyes.

"Yes! You're going to die! And it's going to be all my fault. Oh my God, oh shit," he said, struggling to stand. Pain flared in his ass, and that did not help.

"My goddamn ass hurts like fucking hell, you're going to die, and Lawrence is going to kill me," Adam yelled, stumbling around in circles. He looked around wildly, remembering that he had a car and that she needed to go to the hospital. He hobbled sorely to his car, thankful that they were at the entrance of Central Park, and slid her carefully into the backseat. He then got into the car very slowly.

There was a reason behind his silly panicking, in all seriousness. Adam was a traumatized, broken young man. He was also exhausted, cranky, and in pain. Therefore, he could not act very logically. All he knew right now was that a very special little girl was injured. And this little girl was the daughter of someone who meant everything to him. He was supposed to watch and protect this girl, and take care of her while his lover was at work. But Adam had failed. Diana had fallen out of the tree and hurt her ankle. He completely lost it, and began to panic.

What if Lawrence hated him once he found out that Diana was injured due to Adam's lack of attention? What if Lawrence forced Adam out of his life and left him all alone? Not used to being loved and cared about at all, Adam was panicking. He didn't want to lose Lawrence. But this…this was horrible…Diana was hurt! All because Adam was selfishly complaining to himself, because Adam wasn't watching Diana.

They arrived at the hospital Lawrence worked at, and Adam burst inside carrying Diana, who was sobbing. His body was so sore that he basically ran – waddled – like a penguin, almost.

"Someone help me, please! She's hurt, and I think she may die!" Adam screamed, tears filling his eyes. Nurses ran over, as well as Lawrence, who had been handing paperwork to a girl behind the counter in the front entrance.

Adam trailed after the crowd of nurses, crying and wrapping his arms tightly around himself. Once inside the examining room, he stood beside Lawrence.

"I'm sorry, Lawrence, I'm so, so sorry, please, I'm sorry," he sobbed, tears streaming down his cheeks. Lawrence shooed away the nurses and examined his daughter's leg. Adam fainted and fell over. Lawrence, surprised, knelt down and tried to wake him.

"Daddy, I'm dying, I'm going to die, and Adam said so! Don't let me die, daddy!" she wailed.

"I saw a movie about horses one time, daddy! The horse fell and broke its leg! Adam didn't break his leg, daddy! Please don't shoot him! Because the people shot the horse in the movie," Diana begged.

Lawrence laughed, a grin spreading across his face. Adam came to, and Lawrence helped him up.

"Honey, I'm not going to shoot Adam, don't worry. And Adam, calm down, it's alright. She only sprained her ankle; it's nothing serious at all. What happened?" he said. Adam looked up at Lawrence, his breath hitching.

"I wasn't watching her, Lawrence. She fell out of a tree. I'm really sorry. Is she going to be okay?" Adam said, sounding terribly guilty. Lawrence brushed the younger man's tears away and kissed his forehead.

"Don't be sorry. I'm not upset or angry with you. Diana is going to be perfectly alright," Lawrence assured. He took care of Diana's ankle by applying Ace wrap and a splint. He filled a Ziploc bag with ice and gave it to Diana, rubbing her back soothingly.

"Here, darling, just hold the ice to your ankle. I don't want you walking around today, alright? I'm going to come home early to help take care of you. You're alright, everything's perfectly fine," Lawrence said softly, planting a kiss on her cheek. Diana nodded, calming down. She held the bag of ice to her ankle, wiping her face with her arm.

Adam was humiliated, of course. He realized now how ridiculous he had acted. He couldn't help it, though. The thought of losing Lawrence was absolutely terrifying. And what if Diana had broken her neck and died from falling out of the tree? Lawrence would've hated Adam. Lawrence turned and hugged Adam.

"Please don't worry about this any further. It's all alright. You did the right thing by bringing her here. Let's go home, okay?" he said. Adam nodded silently. Lawrence picked up Diana and carried her outside, to Adam's car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Once again, Adam was lying in Lawrence's large, comfortable bed. He was exhausted and sore. Lawrence walked into the room after tucking Diana into bed and giving her a bowl of ice cream. He looked over at Adam, a soft smile on his face, and joined him on the bed after kicking his shoes off. He tugged Adam into a warm embrace.

"I love you," Lawrence murmured. Adam felt like a large weight had been lifted from his shoulders, and he smiled with relief.

"Really?" Adam asked, as if for clarification. Lawrence held him tighter.

"Adam, I love you. Nothing is going to change that. Even if you had been watching Diana, you wouldn't have been able to prevent her from falling out of the tree. I know you care about Diana. And I understand that your body must be extremely sore, which was why you weren't watching her as attentively as you normally would have. She only sprained her ankle, Adam," Lawrence said.

"I love you, too, Lawrence," Adam said simply, turning around and pressing a kiss to his lips before burying his face against the other man's warm chest. Lawrence smiled, rubbing Adam's back. He teasingly smacked Adam's ass.

"And how do you feel?" Lawrence asked, smirking as Adam winced in pain and glowered up at him.

"I think you broke my ass, you bastard! Why'd you hit me? It feels very sensitive and tender down there, thank you very much," Adam snapped, though he didn't sound angry at all. Lawrence laughed, kissing Adam's jaw.

"But you enjoyed last night, didn't you?" Lawrence asked. Adam couldn't help but grin.

"Of course; it was the best I ever had," Adam admitted happily, sinking back against Lawrence, who embraced him more securely. One of Adam's legs slung over Lawrence's hips.

"Glad to hear it," Lawrence said. But Adam had already drifted off to sleep.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lawrence woke up to the smell of thick, foul smoke. The first thought that entered his mind was that his apartment was on fire. Coughing, he leaped out of bed and ran out of the bedroom. Curls of black smoke drifted from the kitchen, so that was where he went.

Adam stood there in front of the stove, frantically sliding a pan of eggs and bacon around the stove. They were on fire.

"Jesus Christ!" Lawrence exclaimed, grabbing the pan from Adam. He shoved it under the faucet of the sink, which he turned on, and watched the water put the fire out. He scraped the mess into the trashcan and washed the pan.

"Adam, what in the world are you doing?" Lawrence asked, drying off the pan, coughing. Adam opened a window to air out the kitchen. He was blushing and looked embarrassed.

"I…I wanted to make you guys some food…But you only had eggs and bacon in the fridge, so that was what I decided to make. Except I don't know how to cook," Adam mumbled, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt. Lawrence was touched by the fact that Adam had wanted to cook for him. He smiled affectionately at Adam and gave him a loving kiss.

"I appreciate the thought, Adam. I'll teach you how to cook some day. I guess we're out of groceries. How does Chinese take-out sound?" Lawrence said. Adam grinned.

"Sounds fu – delicious," Adam replied. He really was trying to cut back on cussing, but it was a habit that was hard to drop. Lawrence suddenly brightened. He opened a cabinet and pulled something out.

"That reminds me! I have a little something for you," Lawrence said. He handed Adam a milk chocolate Godiva bar, free of nuts. Adam whooped, taking the chocolate bar.

"Hell yeah! A perfect, delicious chocolate bar without any fucking disgusting nuts in it! Thanks," Adam said happily, giving Lawrence a quick kiss before he hurried over to the couch and ripped the paper off. He took a huge bite and uttered a moan that was nearly pornographic. Lawrence smirked, leaving him to his chocolate, and entered his daughter's room.

Diana was lying in her bed, her injured ankle propped up by two pillows. A stuffed animal panda was held in the crook of her arm, and her head was tilted to one side. She was sleeping soundly, so he left the room, shutting the door behind him.

By the time the Chinese food arrived, Adam had wolfed down the chocolate bar and was full. So Lawrence merely ate a few dumplings and put everything else in the refrigerator for later.

He joined Adam on the couch. The younger man was watching some sort of horror film. He was curled up into a tight ball against the arm of the couch, fidgeting with the string of his gray cotton hoodie. His eyes were wide and focused on the screen. When the killer leaped from behind a wall, stabbing a woman violently, he flinched, startled.

"Why are we watching this?" Lawrence asked, finding the movie rather stupid.

"Hey, nobody invited you over," Adam replied absent-mindedly.

"It's my apartment," Lawrence pointed out. A small smile quirked at Adam's lips.

"It's mine, too…I moved in while you were sleeping. I woke up around four this morning," Adam said. Lawrence raised his brows and got off the couch. He walked into their bedroom and looked into the closet. Sure enough, all of Adam's clothes were inside. He couldn't believe he'd slept through Adam's moving process.

Lawrence went into the spare room, next. It had been turned into Adam's darkroom. Dozens of photos were clipped to twine, which was strung across the room from wall to wall. There was a desk and chair, plenty of basins and plastic bottles of chemicals, and many cartons full of who-knows-what. How the hell had he slept through all of this?

Not wanting to know, he simply sat back down on the couch and put his arm around Adam. Adam immediately snuggled up against him, his eyes never leaving the screen.

"How did I not wake up?" Lawrence finally asked. Adam grinned.

"I was very, very quiet. Diana woke up once, thinking someone was breaking in, but I told her that I was moving in, and she went back to sleep. I guess you're just a heavy sleeper," Adam replied. Lawrence doubted that that was the whole truth; he suspected that Adam may have slipped some Valium into his evening tea. Which would've been a typical Adam move.

"You're really something, Adam," Lawrence said, chuckling. Adam smirked.

"I'm aware. Now shut the hell up, I'm trying to watch a woman get slaughtered by her ex-husband, and I don't need you blabbing through her murder…That's disrespectful to her death, sir," Adam said. Lawrence rolled his eyes. He kissed Adam's jaw…his neck…his lips…Adam finally clambered onto Lawrence's lap, his knees around Lawrence's hips, crushing his lips against Lawrence's.

"I thought you wanted to watch the woman get butchered?" Lawrence teased. He could feel Adam's erection pressing against his abdomen, and he stroked it. Adam's back arched beautifully.

"Fuck you," Adam replied, capturing Lawrence's lips with his own.

"That was rather the point," Lawrence said, grinning wickedly.

**Gotta love the ending. xD My favorite part. Hopefully you guys found this chapter as amusing as I did. Thank you for reading this far, and please review. :)**


	14. Chapter 14: The Nightmare & The Cure

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: I was introduced to a song that fits Adam quite well. It's called Iridescent by Linkin Park. You should really listen to it. Not only is it an awesome song, but it reminds me of our little darling. :D If you know of any other songs that fit Adam, feel free to let me know! :) I just decided to let you guys know about this one. It's cool. **

**After this chapter, Adam's life picks up. He doesn't have as many nightmares, stuff like that. I can't wait to write the next chapter, which, I believe, will be the one where Adam finally brings Lawrence to the nightclub that Lawrence had promised to go to if Adam went out to dinner with him. Haaha, that'll be fun. So, I hope you guys are liking my fanfic so far. Enjoy this chapter, and thanks for reading. :)**

Adam's panicked screams echoed in the dimly lit bedroom. Lawrence had agreed to keeping lights on while they slept, but not to the full maximum. Therefore, the lights had been on at a low setting, and Adam had several nightlights plugged into wall sockets by his side of the bed.

Lawrence lurched forward, his heart racing, startled badly by the way he had woken up. For a moment, he thought Adam was being brutally murdered; the screams were brimming with panic, horror, and desperation. Adam often screamed in his sleep. His dreams were always poisoned by nightmares. But tonight was different. These _screams _were different. Concentrating on slowing his heart, Lawrence looked over at his sleeping lover. Tears streamed down his flushed face, and he was gripping the blanket so tightly that his knuckles had turned white.

He wouldn't stop screaming. Normally, his screams were short outbursts in the middle of the night. But tonight, he went on and on, growing more and more intense and terrified as the seconds ticked by. He thrashed violently to the left, nearly falling off the bed, his chest heaving. He was using most of his breath to scream, and Lawrence could see, and hear, that Adam was having difficulty breathing – to the point of near hyperventilation.

"_No, no, not again, please, God, not again! No…No! I can't…I'm so sorry…Please…No!" _Adam suddenly shouted. Diana came racing into the room, frightened by Adam's screams. She stood in the doorway, staring at the shaking, sweating form beside Lawrence.

"Honey, go back to bed. He's having a nightmare. I'm going to wake him up, alright?" Lawrence said to Diana. The little girl hesitated, hugging a stuffed tiger plushie to her chest tightly.

"Daddy…I'm scared," she whispered, her eyes not leaving Adam. Lawrence smiled reassuringly at her.

"Diana, please. Go back to your room. He'll be alright. You can hug him tomorrow to make him feel better," he told her. She nodded, paused in the doorway, and then left the room. Lawrence looked back down at Adam, who was still screaming in mortal terror. Lawrence took the boy's sweaty bicep and shook it, hard. Adam almost always slept shirtless.

He didn't wake up. Lawrence grabbed Adam and yanked him up off the mattress. The kid's eyes flew open, glazed with horror and tears. His screams ended, and he now sobbed hysterically, shaking all over. His loud, heart-wrenching sobs and pant-like breathing made Lawrence desperate to comfort him. The older man put his arms around Adam and hugged him as tight as he could, giving Adam the sense of security he craved.

"Shhh….Adam….It's okay….It was just a dream, all a dream, you're alright," Lawrence murmured into Adam's ear. Adam clung to him, unable to calm down. He was shaking like a leaf in a hurricane, his tears soaking Lawrence's shirt. His fingers dug painfully deep into Lawrence's back, but Lawrence didn't complain.

They were like this for an hour. When Adam finally calmed down enough – crying silently and breathing raggedly – Lawrence glanced over at the digital clock by their bed. It was four in the morning. He had to leave for work in an hour.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Lawrence asked gently, beginning to stroke Adam's back. Adam shook his head with a sharp intake of breath, and Lawrence didn't push it. For the next half hour, Lawrence silently held Adam and stroked his back, occasionally murmuring soft, loving things, and Adam clung to him, crying and trembling.

But Lawrence had to get ready for work now. He slowly eased away from Adam, watching him carefully. The panic was renewed.

"Don't…Don't…" Adam gasped, his hand curling tightly into the sheets, fresh tears pouring from his eyes. Lawrence leaned forward and kissed Adam passionately, his hands cupping the frightened boy's face. A whimper of despair sounded at the back of Adam's throat when Lawrence finally broke the kiss and got out of bed.

"I'm sorry. I have to, Adam. I already used up all of my sick leaves. I need to go to work. I can't lose my job. I promise I'll come home as soon as I can," Lawrence said, his heart breaking. He turned the lights on to the strongest setting and began tugging on his work clothes; a pair of black dress pants, a pale green silk shirt, which he tucked in, as usual, and his white doctor's coat. Adam watched him, his breath hitching, all the color draining from his face.

Lawrence finished putting on his black socks and formal shoes, and stood up.

"I'll have Diana sleep in here with you, okay? You won't be alone," Lawrence told him. He left the room and went to his daughter's bedroom. She was sitting up in bed, her eyes wide. She hadn't been able to fall back asleep; she was worried about Adam. Lawrence scooped her up into his arms.

"I need you to stay with Adam all day today, alright? Don't you leave his presence for a single moment. Be very nice to him, don't act loud, and don't make any sudden movements or noises. He's very afraid," Lawrence whispered into her ear. The little girl nodded and kissed her father's cheek.

Lawrence placed Diana onto the comfortable king sized bed, and she curled up beside Adam. But Adam didn't even give the child a glance. His widened eyes with their now-giant pupils focused on Lawrence, silently pleading him to stay. It was the worst nightmare Adam had ever had in the time he'd been with Lawrence, and it really was hard for Lawrence to leave him like this. But it was necessary. So the doctor left.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Hi, daddy!" Diana chirped into the wall phone, playing with the curly cord. A cheerful grin lit up her young face. She loved receiving phone calls from her father while he was at work. It made her feel important. Everything about her father made her feel special. He treated her very kindly and respectfully. Though she would never admit it, Diana secretly preferred living with her father over living with her mother. Her mother was very good to her, but she was often a little cold and unsocial. She hadn't even called Diana once in the time she'd been away. It hurt Diana's feelings a little, but there was nothing she could do about it.

Her father's warm, deep voice drifted over from the other side of the phone.

"Hey, baby. How's Adam doing?"

Adam was another story. Diana loved him as though he were her older brother. In fact, he was like the brother she unfortunately never had. She knew that Lawrence loved Adam in a way that a prince loves his princess, but she never said anything about it, because she had a vague idea that she wasn't supposed to know. But it was so obvious. Lawrence always looked at Adam with such deep love and compassion that it made her want to smile. And Adam was always giving Lawrence hugs. Diana approved greatly of this relationship. She was glad that they were together. She was too young to understand any of it, but despite her naïve, childish innocence, she was happy with their relationship. All she knew was that they made each other happy. Adam was her daddy's princess.

Diana looked across the living room. The boy of subject was huddled in a corner, his eyes puffy, red-rimmed, and had dark half-moons beneath them. His chocolate colored hair stood up on end in three different directions, and he was fidgeting with his sleeves. Dressed in a large, cotton gray hoodie and a pair of jeans, he looked very thin and vulnerable. She didn't like seeing him like this. He was supposed to be tough, funny, intimidating Adam. Adam, who was like her guardian angel; Adam, who would protect her with his life; Now, he was just a very frightened young man who looked like he was about to cry.

He hadn't eaten anything all day, nor had he gone back to sleep. His heavy headphones covered his ears, and she could hear heavy metal blasting from them. His face was pale and he looked…haunted. His eyes never focused on one thing; they constantly roamed the apartment, as if he were searching for something, or suspicious. Earlier, she had dropped her cereal bowl. It had crashed to the floor and broke into five pieces. Adam had jumped nearly a foot into the air and cried out in terror. Then he had huddled up into the corner, where he remained to this moment. She had dropped the bowl nearly six hours ago. He hadn't left that spot.

Diana described all of this to her father, only to be answered with a sad sigh.

"So he hasn't slept or eaten?" Lawrence asked. Diana shook her head, forgetting she was on the phone and he couldn't see her.

"…Diana?" her father asked. A huge grin split across her face and she swallowed a giggle.

"No, he hasn't. What do you want me to do, daddy?" she replied.

"Well, I'll be home in five minutes for my one hour lunch break. So, in the meantime, simply sit with Adam, okay? It might cheer him up," Lawrence said. They exchanged their goodbyes, and Diana hung up. She walked over to Adam and sat down in front of him. His eyes immediately landed on her, and he tugged off the headphones, letting it hang around his neck.

"Are you okay, Diana?" Adam asked, concerned. She stared gravely up at him.

"Are you?" she countered. Adam didn't smile, but his voice sounded amused and proud.

"Nice one; very clever and sharp…I'm raising you well. Though, I guess your daddy wouldn't really like that," Adam said. Diana moved forward and cuddled against his chest. After a hesitated moment, he wrapped his arms around her, holding her close, and rested his head on hers, closing his eyes.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

For the next three days, Adam didn't sleep. He barely ate; when he was given a meal, he picked at it, took a few small bites, and then pushed his plate away from him. Before the nightmare, Adam had been looking healthy again. But now he had took hold of that haunted, scared, sick look that he had lost through hard work. Each night, Lawrence would coax Adam into lying on the bed. He hoped that Adam would sleep. But he didn't. He'd curl up into a tight, tight ball and stare at the nightlight. The lights had to be stronger to make Adam feel safer, and it was harder for Lawrence to sleep. Every time the doctor woke up and looked over at his lover, he'd see him sitting up in the same position that he had been in when Lawrence fell asleep.

On the fourth night of no sleep, Adam sat huddled against the headboard, a look of anxiety printed on his frightened face. He looked terrible due to lack of sleep – his eyes looked like those of a junkie's, his hands had a constant tremor, and he was as jumpy as a cat. Lawrence had had enough. It was two in the morning. The young man should've been fast asleep.

Lawrence rolled out of bed, thanking the Lord that he had no work tomorrow. He was worried-sick about Adam. The boy just wouldn't sleep. No matter what Lawrence said or did, those sad eyes would not close while lying down. He came up with an idea. If he could relax Adam, the boy would sleep. Just get him very comfortable, warm, and relaxed. He would never drug Adam. That would make Adam lose all trust and respect for him.

"Adam, I'm going to give you a bath," Lawrence announced. Adam stared at him as if he had just suggested that Adam try doing a back-flip.

"What the hell? I'm not four," Adam protested. But the doctor wouldn't hear of it. He scooped him up in his arms. Adam had gained healthy weight through plenty of exercise and a regular diet, and wasn't as light as he used to be, but Lawrence still managed to easily carry him.

He carried him into the bathroom, ignoring Adam's sarcastic comments. Like him insisting that he could walk on his own. Lawrence set him down on the counter and then leaned over, plugging up the bathtub. At the corner of his eye, he could see Adam recoil; after all, the kid had woken up drugged in a bathtub. But Adam didn't say anything, so Lawrence twisted the 'hot water' faucet. The water automatically began pouring into the tub, and Lawrence poured in a capful of soap for some light bubbles. Adam sat on the counter, watching with tired amusement.

While he waited for the tub to fill, Lawrence turned around and placed his hands on either side of Adam's hips, resting his forehead against Adam's. They looked into each other's eyes, seeing different things. Adam saw deep, genuine love, concern, affection, and care. Lawrence saw sadness, fear, amusement, and, of course, love.

"I love you," Lawrence murmured, stroking Adam's cheek. Adam's eyes filled with tears, and his breath hitched.

"Yeah?" Adam said, smiling. Lawrence nodded.

"Yeah," he replied, returning the smile.

"'Cause I love you, too," Adam whispered. He leaned forward and kissed Lawrence deeply, his hands taking Lawrence's shoulders. Lawrence ran his fingers through Adam's dark, soft hair, his tongue tracing Adam's lower lip before entering his mouth, tasting sweet beer and minty toothpaste. He didn't want Adam to get horny. That wasn't the purpose of this plan. So before they could go any further, he broke the kiss and caressed Adam's pale face.

"Are you ready for your bath?" Lawrence asked, once the bath was full. Adam nodded, his eyes half closed. Lawrence undressed him and scooped him up into his strong arms, placing him gently into the hot, sudsy water. Steam rose steadily from the water, floating up into the air as lazy as a cloud drifting across the sky. At first, Adam tensed up, allowing his body to get used to the uncomfortably hot water. Eventually he relaxed against the curve of the tub, resting his head against one of those foamy pillows. His expression was one of complete bliss, and Lawrence felt triumphant.

His plan was working so far.

For awhile, Lawrence silently washed Adam's body with a cloth; massaging his neck and shoulders, scrubbing his back and torso, rubbing his legs and hips. The hot water sloshed against Adam, washing away the soap. Lawrence shampooed Adam's messy, soft hair, careful as to not hurt his scalp. By now, Adam's eyes were closed, and all tension had left his body. He lay in the steaming water completely at peace, all worry smoothed from his face. His breathing had evened out and grew more calm and deep.

Lawrence dumped a small pail of the hot water over Adam's head several times to wash the shampoo out of his hair, and Adam blinked sleepily up at him. Lawrence found it overwhelmingly adorable for some reason; his heart swelled, and he bit back a grin, watching his lover with extreme affection. Adam stared impassively at him, and then sunk further into the water, still keeping eye-contact with Lawrence. A shaky sigh escaped those sinful lips, and he began to talk.

"We were in the bathroom…again. And J-Jigsaw came in with a gun and a horsewhip. He grabbed you off of the floor. You had already hacked your…your…your foot…off. And you were…dying. Jigsaw began to whip you really hard, right in front of me. He…He gave me the gun and told me to kill you. He continued whipping, and you were crying and looking up at me, begging me for help. Begging me to stop Jigsaw. But…But I…I didn't. I only stood there and watched. And…And then you…you…" Adam's voice broke off and he leaned forward, burying his head into his knees, his hands grasping at the sides of his head. He sobbed.

"I could've shot Jigsaw with that gun. But I didn't. I only stood there and cried, completely useless…As always. You were about to die. He suddenly stopped, rolled you over onto your back, and knelt beside you. With the little breath you had, you cried out in pain. He ripped his mask off. It was my father. I fell to my knees and began to hyperventilate, staring at him in…in…in fucking _shame._"

Adam took a few deep, steadying breaths.

"He said…He said that I had to kill you now. Or he'd beat me again. And he promptly began whipping you again. You died. And I shot him in the head. I lunged forward and tried to grab onto your hand. I thought you had died. But you really didn't. You stared at me with bleeding eyes, angry and hateful. And…And you…you said, 'You did this to me. You could've saved me. It's your fault I died. You disgust me.' And then you died. I couldn't reach you. It was all my fault. If I had just shot Jigsaw…" his voice broke again and he wailed.

Lawrence leaned forward and pulled him into his arms, not caring that Adam was soaking wet. Adam buried his head against Lawrence's shirt and sobbed loudly, his cries echoing in the bathroom. His fingers curled into the material of his shirt.

"It was just a dream, Adam. You couldn't control your dream; nobody can. It never actually happened," Lawrence murmured into Adam's ear. Adam nodded.

"I know," he insisted, frustrated. "I know. I know how fucking pathetic this is, alright? It just…It was…I don't…Shit, Lawrence…Losing you…Even in a dream…Is terrifying," Adam said. He shook his head.

"And it wasn't just losing you like that…My father was there. He killed you. You, the one person I ever truly loved, killed by the one person I've always hated. Except I didn't hate him; I loved him…And I don't know why. All he did was make me miserable. He nearly killed me, he hated me, he was psychotic. But…But I still loved him," Adam went on, as if he had to get this all off his chest.

"He's your father. You love him because of that. It's very difficult for a child not to love their parent, no matter how badly the parent treats them. He's a sick man, Adam. It's not your fault. I want you to forget about the dream," Lawrence explained.

"Was," Adam said bitterly. His voice was growing thick.

"What?" Lawrence asked.

"He _was. _The bastard died years ago," Adam replied. He was now slurring. Lawrence lowered Adam back into the water, which was still hot, but not steaming any more.

Adam let out a sigh, curling up comfortably in the hot water. His exhaustion was taking toll. Lawrence could see that.

"Adam?" Lawrence asked. Adam didn't open his eyes. He made a small noise of acknowledgement at the back of his throat.

"I love you," Lawrence said softly. Adam smiled. He would've responded, Lawrence knew, but the kid drifted off to sleep before he could. Lawrence pulled the plug of the bathtub and left the room, entering the bedroom, and grabbed a pair of clean, dry boxers of Adam's, and entered the bathroom again. He lifted his boyfriend out of the bathtub, dried him off with a towel. Adam woke up to that, but was completely out of it, and wasn't able to help him. When you miss sleep for four days, your movements grow slow and unsteady.

Lawrence carried him into bed and tucked him beneath a heap of warm comforters. He climbed into bed and hugged him against his firm torso. Adam slept deeply and peacefully.

**Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it. Review, please? :)**


	15. Chapter 15: Just the Way You Are

**Disclaimers: I do not own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: With eyes drooping, sticky, and heavy with exhaustion, my fingers a little numb, I present to you the fifteenth chapter. I decided to write a chapter that was mostly about Diana. In fact, it was supposed to be all about her. But then...Well, I mean, she's seven. There's nothing very interesting going on in her life. And when you have characters like Adam and Lawrence, it's hard to write about someone other than them. The ending is meant to be sweet and loving and heart-warming. But I'm so exhausted it's not even a joke, so I lost all of my motivation half-way through, dropped Diana's POV, tossed together Adam and Lawrence's lovefest, and then uploaded the chapter. This isn't my most interesting piece. But I promise the next chapter is going to be VERY excellent, especially if you enjoy nervous, awkward, horny Adams, somewhat public sex, horny and embarassed Lawrences, public masturbation, Lawrence's grandparents, and shrieky, cheerful old ladies. I'm very excited to start writing it, because I've planned a lot for it, and it's pretty funny if you ask me. Thank you for reading this far. I know I don't have a lot of hooked readers, maybe two at best, and I appreciate those who do read consistantly. :) Love you guys. The next chapter, which might be the best (chapter 14 is my ultimate favorite as of right now, I think) will be dedicated to those who have reviewed or read. :)**

**This chapter is dedicated to my love, who's excited to read this, and I'm sad to say that I feel she will be disappointed by its lack of excitement. I honestly didn't like this chapter very much at all. Hey, every author has a boring scene. The excitement begins again next chapter. Love you, darling. :) you're the lawrence to my adam. :D**

**...I'm going to go crawl into bed now and sleep. **

**THANKS FOR READING! ^^**

One evening, Diana sat on her bed and looked at the telephone. It sat silently charging in its base; silent, like the rest of the apartment. Last week, Adam had started sleeping and eating again. She didn't know how her father had convinced him to do so, but she was glad he had managed.

A sudden sense of loneliness washed over the little girl. Never had she felt lonely with her father. But here she was, her pink lips curving into a frown. And she knew why; her mother still hadn't called. Her mother had been gone for nearly two months and hadn't called once. Diana didn't know her mother's cell phone number or her grandfather's phone number. Maybe her father knew. She just missed her mom, was all. Not that she wanted to leave her dad, no, not at all; she just wanted to talk to her mom. It was a normal thing that any kid would've wanted to do.

Diana stood up, smoothing her white lacy nightgown, and padded out of her room, clutching her baby doll tightly to her chest. She was a little nervous about asking her father for her mother's number. What if it hurt his feelings? What if he thought she wanted to live with her mother again? The child paused, staring at the carpet fretfully. She took a minute to summon her courage, and then walked across the living room. Her father's bedroom door was open a crack. As she approached, she heard soft, quiet voices. Diana moved towards the door and peeked in.

Adam was laying across the bed, wearing sweatpants and a gray, cotton, V-neck, long-sleeved shirt. Lawrence was lying on top of him, dressed in his work outfit; he'd gotten home an hour ago and hadn't changed his clothes. He had himself propped up on his forearms, not putting all his weight on the thinner, smaller man below him. He was looking down at Adam, who had his arms around Lawrence's waist. Lawrence brushed his fingers along Adam's jaw affectionately.

"It's so weird. Like, I actually miss being a freelance photographer. It was exciting and interesting. Sort of like living a mystery novel, you know? Getting to see what's _really _going down is awesome. Well, until the shit hits the fan and all hell breaks loose when I'm caught," Adam murmured. Lawrence shook his head.

"It's too dangerous, Adam. I mean, look where it ended up putting you," he said. Adam flinched slightly at the reference to Jigsaw's bathroom. A hint of anger flashed in his eyes.

"Yeah, well I got to meet you because of that," Adam snapped defensively. Lawrence silenced Adam with a kiss.

"I don't want you doing it," Lawrence said, a little sternly. Adam glared at him.

"I can do whatever the fuck I want," Adam grumbled, his hands dropping from Lawrence's waist. He went to sit up, but Lawrence pushed Adam's hips down and held them that way. Adam glanced up at his boyfriend.

"Yeah, you can. I'm just saying my opinion. Don't get all defensive. I just don't want you to get killed," Lawrence said, his voice gentle and calm. Be rough with Adam, and he'll fucking kill you. Adam stared up at him suspiciously, as if searching for any rude remarks or snide comments…or rejection. Not seeing anything, he relaxed against the soft mattress, all anger disappearing, leaving only minor guilt.

"That was rude of me. I'm sorry, Lawrence," he mumbled genuinely after a moment of silence. Lawrence smiled and kissed him again. Apparently it was a sign of forgiveness. Adam reached up and tugged off Lawrence's tie before undoing each and every button, the kiss never breaking. When he was finished, Lawrence removed Adam's shirt, allowing his own to slip off onto the floor, moving his lips to Adam's throat. Adam sighed happily and tilted his head back, exposing more of the delicious, pale flesh.

Diana had a feeling she shouldn't watch. It was rude. She knew what sex was; only because she'd accidentally walked in on her mother and father at the age of six when they were still together. Now, nearly two years later, she was walking in on her father and Adam. Her parents had explained what sex was after they'd gotten dressed and calmed down. It was extremely awkward and embarrassing.

Not wanting to humiliate Adam – for she knew he would most likely freak out, just because that was who he was – Diana very quietly shut the door. She waited a full minute, and then knocked loudly on the door calling,

"Daddy? Daddy, are you in there?"

She listened to Adam cursing on the other side of the door. She heard a huge crash, and Adam cursed again, mumbling something. She assumed he'd fallen off the bed. She'd assumed correctly.

"Yes, sweet heart, come in," her father replied. When she opened the door and walked inside, Adam was gone, and so was his shirt. She heard the toilet flush in the master bathroom. Her father was lying shirtless on the bed, a medical journal in his hands. They were good. She honestly didn't care.

"Um, Dad?" she asked tentatively, swaying by the foot of the bed. Adam came out from the bathroom, his shirt on. There was a red bite mark on his pale throat, though, and his hair was mussed up. He sat down on the small loveseat by the dresser, watching Diana with mild concern and curiosity.

"Yes?" Lawrence said. He raised his brows in question. She licked her lips nervously.

"I…I want to…Do you….Mom….Um….She hasn't called…And I miss her…" she stammered, blushing. There was a silence. Adam spoke up.

"Do you not like living with us, Diana?" Adam asked, frowning. Tears filled Diana's eyes, and she ran to Adam, jumping into his lap. Startled, Adam flinched. But he was growing used to hugs from the child, so he was quick to wrap his arms around her tightly.

"I do! I love living with you and Daddy! It's just that…I miss my mom. She hasn't called me, and I love her, too. She's my mommy," she explained, sniffling. Adam stroked her small back comfortingly.

"Diana, I have her cell phone number. Would you like to call her?" Lawrence offered. His voice sounded strained. Adam looked up at his lover. He looked irritated and tense. Adam knew it was because he was angry at his ex-wife for neglecting their daughter. Diana nodded and got up, walking over to the bed.

Lawrence pulled out his cell phone and called Alison. When he heard it ring, he handed the phone to Diana, putting it on speaker so that he and Adam could listen.

"Lawrence, what the hell do you want?" Alison demanded coldly. Lawrence's eyes narrowed, and Adam's brows rose in surprise. Diana's eyes widened.

"M-Mommy?" she whispered.

"Oh, Diana! I'm sorry. What is it, sweetie?" her mother said, sounding relieved.

_What is it? _The three words angered Lawrence to the point where he grew red in the face. This was their daughter, who missed her mother, who hadn't called in the two months she'd been away. And she gets a 'what is it'? Even Diana seemed at a loss for words.

"Hi, Mommy…" Diana said falteringly. There was silence on the other line.

"Um, hi. What do you need?" Alison finally said, sounding annoyed. Tears began to trickle down the little girl's face. She opened her mouth as if to talk, closed it, and opened it again, emitting a faint croaking noise. She threw the phone at Lawrence and ran from the room, dropping her baby doll on the floor. Lawrence gripped the phone so tight that his knuckles turned white.

"Listen, you _bitch. _Diana missed you, and she wanted to call you. God knows why, knowing what a cold-hearted monster you are. You didn't call her a single time in the two months you've been away. When your one and only young daughter calls you, you speak as though you love and care for her, not as if she's an acquaintance. She's your fucking daughter. And it wouldn't have killed you to call her. Way to break a little girl's heart," Lawrence snarled viciously. He promptly hung up, not wanting to hear his ex-wife's excuses, and threw the phone across the room. Adam watched this with awe and shock.

"You…You cussed?" Adam said, blinking. Lawrence glared over at him and picked up his daughter's baby doll.

"Only when I'm speaking to someone who deserves it along with a bullet to the head," he said coldly, leaving the room. Adam followed, of course, grinning.

They found Diana curled under her sheets sobbing. Adam sat down at the foot of her bed, gazing at the lump beneath the blankets with a look of knowing. Of course he would understand. He'd been abused all his life. He knew exactly how it felt to be neglected. Lawrence, as much as it killed him to do so, left the room, closing the door behind him. Adam would know how to handle this far better than he would. Besides, Diana didn't need Lawrence spewing hateful things about her mother. Adam could perfectly comfort her, and it would strengthen their bond.

"Diana," Adam said tentatively, reaching over and pulling the sheets off of the small child. She really didn't look seven – more like five. Diana didn't respond or look at him. Adam dragged her onto his lap and brushed her tears away. Her flesh was very warm and flushed, and her chest heaved with sobs.

"It's okay, babe. I understand," Adam murmured. She shook her head viciously.

"No! No, you don't! People say that all the time on TV. But they don't mean it, and the people that those other people are talking to know it. You don't understand at all. My momma doesn't love me. And do you want to know something mean? I love my daddy more than my mommy. Even worse…I love you more than I love my mommy. Isn't that a bad thing? Why doesn't God punish me? God punishes sinners. Isn't loving my daddy more than my mommy a sin?" she wailed. She was upset and confused, and didn't sound at all like she knew what she was talking about. Adam didn't get it, either.

"I do understand. I understand more than anyone, more than you even. Your momma does love you, Diana. She loves you so fu – much," he told her, catching himself at the last second.

"Your granddaddy's ill, though, so your momma's worried and stressed, and taking it out on you. Which isn't fair. If anyone's been the sinner, it's been her, not you. You aren't a sinner. And God would never punish beautiful, smart little girls like you. It's not wrong of you to love your dad more than your mom. You want to know my secret, baby? I love your daddy more than I could ever love my parents," Adam said softly, stroking her small back. Diana finally peeked up at him with tear-filled puffy eyes.

"Why do you love my daddy more than your momma and dad?" she asked, sniffling. She noticed her daddy's boyfriend's eyes grow cold and darker. His smile disappeared, and a look of hate passed across his pale, young face.

"My parents aren't like yours at all, Diana. When I was a kid and living with my parents, my parents hated me; they had never wanted me. I was an accident. Basically, God gave me to a mother who didn't want children. She was a very bad mommy. Dirty, hateful, cheating, lying…cruel; that was my mom. She reminded me every week how much she hated me, how I was stupid and ugly and disgraceful. She'd hit me, scream at me, make fun of me," he described, his voice stone-cold.

"But she was nothing like my father. Because my mother was never home. She was always out doing naughty things. My dad, on the other hand, was always home and drinking beer. He was a drunkard. And he hated me even more than my mother did. Every single day, he'd beat me very badly, until I couldn't move or protect myself. He'd beat me until I had to go to the hospital. And he'd tell the doctor lies so that he wouldn't get into trouble. There was never any food at home, so I was always sick and starving. I have scars to prove it," Adam continued.

"When I was older and more capable of defending myself, I ran away from home, and lived on the streets. I took my camera, clothes, and my toothbrush. After a while, I moved into the apartment I had been living in when you and your daddy came and took me to your home. I lived there for a while. Then there was the kidnapping, and then here we are. Oh, and my dad eventually died. The one good thing he ever did do was to die," he finished spitefully. Diana burst into tears, throwing her arms around Adam's hips and burying her head against his flat, toned stomach.

"Oh, Adam, you do understand! I'm so sorry. I love you so much, Adam! Your parents were monsters. I'm so happy you're here with me and daddy!" she cried. Adam, startled by her enthusiastic outburst, looked down at her and grinned.

"Hey, whoa there, girly; I didn't mean to throw you into hysterics or nothin'. Don't be sorry. Anyone would be upset by the neglect of their parent. Now, what I'm trying to say is that your mother loves you, and you have very wonderful parents. Sure, your mom's not the most cheery person in the world, but, you gotta give her credit; she's a much stressed lady, and I know she loves you very much. Who wouldn't?" Adam said, smiling. Diana returned the smile, swiping at her wet face with her arm.

"Adam, you're the best!" she exclaimed, giving his cheek a kiss. Adam felt touched. He'd never felt so loved in his entire life. This little girl loved him so much, and it made him truly happy.

"Not as awesome as you are, chica. You're so gorgeous, Diana. And not just appearance wise. Everything about you is beautiful. Your personality, the way you laugh, the way you feel and think, the way you smile…It's beautiful. And the tragic part is that some day, when you're in high school, girls will be very jealous of you. They'll call you ugly, or fat, when you're really not. They'll make fun of what you wear and who you hang out with. But you can't listen to them. They're just hatin' on you because they have no self-confidence of their own. But you keep that pretty head of yours held up high and proud, and you walk on by as if they're nothing. They're just a couple of bitches who look like shit," he said.

He thought, and then added,

"Or, you could punch their ugly-ass faces and beat them into the ground. Then, once they're lying on the ground, bleeding, and begging for mercy, tell them 'With love from Adam. Suck my dick, bitch!' And after that, they'll never bother you again. I swear."

He thought about what he said.

"Well, your father wouldn't approve. So if you ever do that, don't tell him. And if the principal calls him, deny everything. Actually, disregard that. Don't be a liar. Be proud and honest. Be all like 'fuck yeah, I did that'. I'll make sure you don't get in trouble. I'll go down to that school if I have to," he said. He nodded, satisfied. It was definitely inappropriate for him to be speaking like this to a seven year old, and really random, but Adam was caught up in the moment of being praised and looked upon. Diana beamed up at him.

"I'll hold my head up high and proud, just for you Adam!" she said enthusiastically, grinning so happily and wide that he was afraid her face would split. He hugged her tightly.

"I don't think Daddy likes when you say those words near me," Diana said after a moment.

"I think you're right," Adam replied.

"Let's not mention this to him, then," she said.

"Good idea, cutie."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lawrence had changed into a pair of red plaid cotton pajama pants and a black cotton shirt. He lay on the couch, the phone pressed to his ear.

"Hello?" a warm, friendly, elderly voice said curiously. Lawrence grinned, feeling like a child.

"Hi, mom, how're you?" he greeted happily. His mom let out a cheerful whoop at the sound of her one and only son's voice.

"Larry! My dear boy! I am simply marvelous, absolutely wonderful, thank you! Oh, RICHARD, RICHARD, LARRY'S ON THE PHONE! RICHARD! COME HERE! YES, LARRY! HE ASKED ME HOW I WAS, RICHARD! OH, OUR BOY'S ALL GROWN UP! IT MAKES ME WANT TO CRY. HUG ME, RICHARD, HUG ME!"

Lawrence held the phone away from his ear as his mother shrieked for his father. She sounded ecstatic. Finally, after a moment of loving squeals, his mother spoke again.

"How's Diana, sweetie? How're things between you and Alison?" she asked. She knew about the divorce.

"Diana is very wonderful. She's such a sweetie. She hasn't grown much since you saw her last year. A small girl; she takes it from her mother. Her hair grew longer and curlier, and she's as cheerful and bubbly as usual. As for Alison, we don't speak much. She's so cold and irritable. I don't see how I loved her to begin with. She was rude to Diana earlier, and I lost my temper with her. You see, her father is ill, and Alison is taking care of him, so I have Diana until she comes back. She hasn't called Diana in two months. Diana called her today, and Alison was cold as usual. Broke the darling's heart," Lawrence replied. His mother cooed over Diana, and made 'tsk' noises over Alison.

"Have you found a new special someone yet?" his mother asked slyly, sounding hopeful at the same time. Lawrence grinned widely.

"Maybe," Lawrence teased. His mother let out a deafening screech of excitement. Lawrence winced and held the phone away from his ear. He had to hold it out as far as his arm would allow; she was that loud. He could faintly hear his father begging his mother to quiet down. Finally, when she obliged, she squealed,

"Tell me, Larry, tell me! Give me all the details! Come on, come on, don't keep an old lady waiting!"

Lawrence hesitated. Would his mother disapprove? Knowing his mother, she'd be happy either way. And so would his father. If Lawrence was happy, they were happy. But he still felt nervous.

"His name is Adam. He's really adorable, you'd love him to pieces, and he's very caring and protective, and Diana loves him, and he loves her and me, and I love him so much, and he's very keen, he enjoys photography, and I really love him," he said quickly, rushing to get as many details as he could. His heart hammered in his chest. But all that fear drained away when his mother let out another deafening shriek of excitement. Sure, she wouldn't have any more grandchildren to spoil, but her son seemed very happy and in love. And that was definitely enough for Lucille Gordon.

"Lawrence James Gordon, you'd better tell me all about this man before I die of heart attack," she cried. Lawrence grinned, again.

"Yes, momma, quiet down before dad goes crazy. His name is Adam Faulkner. He's younger than me; about twenty seven years old, give or take a year. When I was kidnapped nearly two years ago, he was the other man who was locked in the bathroom with me. The man I had shot, the man who saved my life. Well, not entirely, because the police found us, but he killed a man who was trying to kill me, even though I'd shot him, he still cared enough to save me. He's a shorter than me by a good few inches, and weighs a lot less. He's skinny, but he has muscles. He has soft brown hair and dark eyes," Lawrence began.

"He's a freelance photographer, and he moved in a while ago. He and Diana get along really well. I think you'd love him, mom. He's a troubled young man…very troubled. His parents abused him terribly, and he never got over the bathroom scene. He's lived a horrible life, and his job's dangerous. But he cares so much about me, and loves me more than anything. I've got to be very gentle with him. I'm helping him live. He's been hurt and broken many times. But he pushes on through. A tough kid, he is," Lawrence said. His mother crooned softly, as if hearing about a newborn kitten.

His mother had a very soft spot for 'broken' and abused people. Already she was feeling love for her son's boyfriend.

"He sounds precious, Lawrence. You better take great care of him and don't let him go. I want to meet him," she said. Lawrence nodded, as if she were sitting in the living room with him.

"That's why I was calling. I wanted to invite you and dad over for a visit. You could meet Adam and spend time with Diana and I. Adam's living with me, but I've got another spare bedroom for you and dad," Lawrence told her. His mother went squealing to his father, who quieted her down and agreed to a visit.

"Wonderful! We'll be there next week," his mother sobbed happily. They continued talking for the next half hour. Being old, Lucille Gordon needed her sleep, so she told Lawrence she loved him, to tell Adam and Diana she said hello, and Lawrence said he loved her, and to tell his father the same. They hung up, both smiling, warm, and happy.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lawrence walked into his daughter's room. Adam was asleep sitting up against the wall, his legs dangling over the side of the child's bed, Diana curled on his lap sleeping. Adam's arms were wrapped around her waist loosely. The lights were on, of course. Lawrence smiled and went over, gently lifting Diana out of Adam's lap. The little girl jerked, startled, accidentally kicking Adam in the face. Adam jumped, his eyes flashing open with a look of momentary panic. But he immediately relaxed when he saw Lawrence and the light.

"Sorry, Adam," she mumbled sleepily. Adam clambered off the bed, and Lawrence tucked the child in.

"'S okay," Adam replied, rubbing his nose gingerly. Lawrence kissed his daughter's cheek.

"Goodnight, sweetie," he said lovingly. Diana kissed his cheek back and mumbled a 'sweet dreams', and fell back asleep. The two men turned off the lights and left the bedroom, keeping the door open, and went to their own bedroom. Adam stripped off his clothes clumsily, still half-out of it. As he reached for a clean pair of boxers, Lawrence pulled his naked, warm body into his arms and hugged him tightly.

Adam blinked, surprised, but quickly put his arms around the doctor's waist, resting his head against Lawrence's chest. He silently listened to the calming rhythm of Lawrence's heart. Standing here in Lawrence's arms made him feel safe, secure, and, of course, loved. Adam sighed in content and bliss as Lawrence ran his fingers through Adam's hair, then down his spine.

"I love you," Lawrence murmured, picking him up. He placed Adam onto the bed, and then lay atop of him, bracing himself on his forearms so he wouldn't crush Adam with his weight. Adam's arms went around Lawrence's neck, a brilliant smile lighting up his face.

"I love you, too," Adam said, bringing Lawrence's face down and kissing him. Lawrence's hands brushed across Adam's bare chest and stomach, feeling the boy shiver. There was a very comfortable silence, in which the two of them kissed and caressed each other.

"Lawrence?" Adam asked, his lips brushing down the side of Lawrence's neck.

"Yes?" Lawrence replied absently, enjoying the feel of Adam's lips against the soft flesh of his neck.

"I need your opinion on something," the younger man said. He bit at Lawrence's neck hard enough to leave a mark, and then sucked the pain away.

"Mhm?" Lawrence mumbled, his breathing growing a little quicker, eyes closing. He lowered himself onto Adam a bit more.

"Be serious, okay?" Adam said, capturing Lawrence's lips again, sweeping his tongue over Lawrence's lower lip before entering his mouth. They kissed passionately for a moment before Adam pulled back for air, his hands sliding under Lawrence's shirt and rubbing his back.

"Get on with it, Adam," Lawrence said gently, the pads of his fingers dusting across Adam's abdomen. Adam shuddered, again.

"Pandas…Are they bears or raccoon? 'Cause I think they're bears," Adam said. Lawrence's fingers stopped moving, resting a few inches away from Adam's jaw. He stared at Adam, who looked back up seriously. He then burst into laughter. He laughed so hard that tears streamed down his reddening face, and he collapsed onto his side, away from Adam, who was scowling. Lawrence took one glance at Adam's irritated face and roared with laughter. This fit lasted about two minutes straight, and when he was done, he was wheezing and chuckling.

"Are you finished?" Adam asked with an irritated undertone. Lawrence laughed for a few more seconds, and then nodded, wiping his face.

"Dude, it wasn't even funny. I was being serious," Adam grumbled, hugging himself self-consciously and drawing his knees to his chest. He looked cute, pouting like that as he sat completely naked only a foot away from Lawrence's reach.

"The fact that you asked that question so seriously while we expressed our love for one another was what made it funny," Lawrence replied apologetically. He dragged Adam's thin body over to him, and covered them both with the warm, thick blanket. He left the lamp by Adam on, but turned the other lights off, and then snuggled Adam.

"Well, what do you think?" Adam asked, looking up at Lawrence with large, curious eyes. Unable to resist, Lawrence kissed Adam again, for a very long time. In that kiss, he gave Adam all his love and emotion – happiness, humor, joy, warmth – and played with Adam's very soft hair. Finally, breaking away, Adam gasping, he smiled.

"I think you're extremely adorable, lovable, huggable, and irresistible," Lawrence replied. Adam, his face flushed, flashed Lawrence with one of his rare, full-out, cheerful, loving grins. It was slightly lopsided. It made Lawrence's heart swell.

"And I think you're amazing, intelligent, caring, loving, and fucking sexy," Adam replied, rolling over and straddling Lawrence.

"Do you?" Lawrence said, grinning. Adam gave him a look that made Lawrence's cock harden painfully.

"Hell yeah," Adam said. Lawrence looked up, yanked the boy down, and hugged him tightly. Randomly, he remembered the conversation with his mother. And he suddenly didn't feel lusty. Instead, he held him in his arms and stroked his bare back. Adam melted into Lawrence's embrace, the mood easily and quickly shifting from horny to quiet and loving.

"Adam," Lawrence said softly. Adam raised his head, peering up at him through his bangs.

"You mean the world to me. I don't know what I'd do without you, or how I've managed so long without you in my life. You are truly perfect. I know that you have a lot to work on with yourself, but I also know you can do it. You can do anything you set your mind to; because you're Adam Faulkner, and you are one tough, adorable young man. I always come home from work looking forward to seeing your face and holding you in my arms just like this. I just love you so much," Lawrence said. Adam buried his face against Lawrence's chest, blushing deeply.

"Life's greatest happiness is to be convinced that we are loved. Love is the one word that frees us of all the weight and pain of life," Adam said poetically. Lawrence was surprised.

"Why, Adam, that was lovely," Lawrence said, smiling. Adam smiled sweetly back at him.

"Thank you. I read it on the box of Godiva chocolate drops," Adam said. He and Lawrence laughed. Once they calmed down, Lawrence said,

"I was being serious, though." Adam nodded, relaxing again.

"I know. I just…I'm not good at expressing myself. I love you, though," he said. Lawrence smiled.

"You don't need to be. All you have to do is talk from your heart," he told Adam, who remained silent. Lawrence was just beginning to think that Adam had fallen asleep when the younger man suddenly spoke.

"I couldn't choose one thing that I love about you. It's _everything. _I love everything about you. You smell like clean, soft, crisp laundry dry and fluttering in a warm spring breeze. You're always warm, and your body is firm and muscular. Your arms are strong, perfect for hugging, and you are so kind and patient. When you hug me, I feel safe and secure and loved, and I never want to let go, because I feel that when you hold me, nothing could ever hurt me or steal me away. Not even God or the devil himself," Adam said, his voice rumbling against Lawrence's chest.

"You care about everyone. That's why you're a doctor. You save people. You saved _me_, Lawrence. From myself. You showed me what it was like to be loved and cared about. You showed me that not everyone is cruel and malicious, that even someone like me can be loved and cherished. You cleaned up my life and brought me to your home. Made me a part of your life, protected me from the monsters of the dark, took care of me, accepted my many issues, loved me…I could never thank you enough. I'd trust you with my life."

"Face it, my life was a worthless piece of shit until you came along. And when you did, the light of your love drove away the darkness. It warmed me. I can appreciate the small things, now. My parents were never there for me. They hated me so much. I grew up only knowing how to hate. And then you came along. And I learned to love. And I love you. I can't even bear to think of losing you. Just the thought terrifies me. I would die if I lost you. I'm so happy here, living with you and Diana. I never thought I could…or deserved…to be so happy. And I owe it all to you. I love you with all my heart, soul, body, and brain. You are my everything…in a non-creepy-stalker-ish way."

"I could lie in bed in your arms for the rest of my life and do nothing else and be completely satisfied. The words 'I love you' are way too small and over-used to describe how I feel for you. But because I am struggling to express myself, and my vocabulary isn't as broad as yours, I'll just say that I could never in a million years be capable of expressing the immense depth of my love for you. I will never grow tired of kissing, touching, or hugging you. Just looking into your beautiful blue eyes makes me want to smile. I just feel so lucky being with you, being loved by you…It's so…perfect," Adam finished. By now, there were tears in both of their eyes.

Lawrence kissed Adam tenderly, stroking his face, his shoulders, his back, and his head. A few tears trickled down Adam's flushed cheeks, and Lawrence kissed them away, making the next kiss a salty one.

"Adam, that was so…beautiful," Lawrence whispered, hugging him tightly. Adam nestled his head against Lawrence's chest, his eyes closing.

"And it wasn't even written by Godiva, this time," Adam murmured sleepily. He drifted off very soon, and Lawrence hugged his sleeping boyfriend tightly, a smile on his face, and his heart swollen with intense love for the boy. Adam had never spoken so much at one time in his whole life. Lawrence was absolutely touched.

"Oh, Adam, I love you," he whispered, closing his eyes, warm, sleepy, and as happy as could be.

**Well, it had to happen eventually. Adam had to be mushy-gushy-loveydovey at least once in this fanfic. And this was his huge moment. Hope you liked it! I honestly can't wait to write the next chapter. Hahah, oh, Adam...He's going to be a very naughty boy. ;D **

**Anyway, thank you for reading this far, and...PLEASE REVIEW! :D **


	16. Chapter 16: The Restaurant

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Here it is! Full of semi-somewhat-public sex. :P I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for reading this far! Things are going to go happy and smooth for the next four chapters...and then things take a turn for the worse. muahah. xD **

"Oh dear Lord, look at this adorable young man! How precious! Oh, come here; let Mamma Gordon give you a hug! Oh, what a cutie!" Mrs. Gordon cried, hurrying towards Adam with her arms outstretched.

The four of them – Lawrence, his parents, and Adam – were at the most expensive and fancy restaurant in the state of New York. It was called Lexington's, and it made the restaurant Lawrence had taken Adam to look like a shabby family diner. All three men wore their best tuxedoes (Lawrence had had to buy Adam a new tux), and Mrs. Gordon wore a cherry red velvet dress with matching heels, a pearl necklace, and two pearl earrings. She wore a little bit of mascara, and bright red lipstick. Her shoulder length snow-white hair had been twisted into a neat, sophisticated bun.

A look of panic crossed Adam's face as Lawrence's mother rushed at him, and he flinched. Lawrence opened his mouth to try to stop his mother, but before he could, the old lady had thrown her arms around Adam and hugged him tightly. Adam stood awkwardly, his hands resting lightly on the elderly woman's shoulders.

He and Lawrence had arrived at the restaurant ten minutes before Lawrence's parents had come. Their table wasn't ready yet.

"How are you doing, Lawrence?" Richard Gordon asked, shaking his son's hand. Lawrence smiled at him, half-listening to his mother talk excitedly to Adam, who was fidgeting nervously beside Lawrence.

"Wonderful, dad, thank you. And yourself?" he replied.

Adam had been silent the entire forty five minute drive to the restaurant. He'd curled up in his seat, hugging his legs tightly, and had stared out the window with wide, worried eyes, his face pale. Nothing Lawrence said or did would calm the boy. He was traumatized from his childhood, and the idea of being with parents frightened him. He didn't talk to Lawrence at all, nor did he smile at his touch like he usually did.

Glancing over at him, Lawrence saw beads of sweat trickling down Adam's pale face. Those dark eyes were darting about the room, and he fidgeted with the hem of his shirt with shaking hands.

"Eh, pretty good. Living up the golden years, you know. My knees aren't what they used to be. Too much hard labor back in the day, the doctor said," Richard replied, gesturing at his slightly bent knees with his cane. Lawrence nodded pityingly.

"So where's the princess?" Richard asked. Lawrence smiled at the pet name his father used for Diana.

"My neighbor Sue has her for the night. I figured we'd be out a little late at dinner catching up, and a growing girl needs her sleep," Lawrence said. Adam's chest hitched, and he began to hyperventilate. Lawrence and Richard turned to him, concerned.

"Adam, dear! Whatever is the matter?" Lucille asked, her eyes widening. Adam backed away towards the door.

"Asthma," he lied in a gasp. "I…I'm going…to..to get some air."

Having said that, Adam rushed from the restaurant, leaving Lawrence and his parents behind, and collapsed onto a marble bench outside the restaurant, where he yanked a cigarette and a lighter out of his pocket.

"Is he alright? And why is he lighting a cigarette while having an asthma attack?" Lucille asked Lawrence. Lawrence opened his mouth to explain, but the waitress walked over.

"Follow me to your table, please," she said to them politely. Richard linked arms with his wife and hobbled along behind the waitress with the aid of his cane and wife. Lawrence, meanwhile, went outside to Adam. The young, scared man sat smoking a cigarette, trembling.

"Adam, our table's ready," Lawrence said softly. Adam looked up at his lover with shame written all over his face. He crushed the cigarette into the pavement with his shoe.

"I'm sorry for rushing out like that. I…I just…-"

Lawrence took his boyfriend's arm and lifted him off the bench.

"It's alright; you don't need to explain anything to me. Now get inside," Lawrence said with an affectionate smile.

"That's what she said," Adam chortled, grinning. Lawrence chuckled, smacked Adam's arm playfully, and led him into the restaurant.

They sat at the booth-style table, with Adam and Lawrence on one side, and Lawrence's parents on the other. A heavy cream colored tablecloth covered the polished wood table, and a candle sat in the middle. His parents were both holding the menus and studying it with interest. Lawrence passed Adam a menu.

"So, Adam, what do you do for a living?" Richard asked, setting down the menu once he'd decided what he wanted to order. Lucille, interested in the answer, set down hers as well. Lawrence didn't set his down, but he did watch Adam.

Adam blushed, fidgeting with the menu.

"I, uh, I'm a freelance photographer. But I haven't taken up any jobs in a while," he replied nervously. Lawrence's parents both nodded, continuing to stare at him, as if expecting him to speak more. Lawrence watched as renewed panic flashed across Adam's pale face. Lawrence decided to save his lover. He purposely knocked his menu into his mother's glass of water. It fell to the floor, shattering, and spilling water all over the carpet.

It was an excellent distraction, and Adam relaxed slightly as Lawrence's parents put their attention on the broken glass on the carpet.

"I'm so sorry, mom," Lawrence said, faking guilt and concern. His mother waved a dismissive hand.

"Oh, don't be silly, accidents happen! Besides, it's just water," she replied cheerfully. A waitress came hurrying over and began mopping up the water and picking up the shards of glass while a waiter re-filled Mrs. Gordon's water.

"Do you gentlemen and lady know what you'd like?" the waiter asked pleasantly.

"I'd love everything on the menu with extra dessert, but I don't have the money for that, unfortunately," Mrs. Gordon joked. The waiter grinned.

"So, instead, I will take the lasagna deluxe without the meat, please, and a Caesar salad on the side," she said. The water nodded and wrote down the order. He then looked over at Richard.

"Salisbury steak, with boiled potatoes and spinach," Lawrence's father said. The waiter copied that down, and smiled at Lawrence.

"I'll have the grilled chicken platter, please," Lawrence said. Adam glanced up at the waiter, who was looking at him.

"What would you like to eat tonight, sir?" the waiter asked when Adam said nothing.

"Lawrence, the guy next to me," Adam said. The waiter blinked, surprised, and then flushed a bright red. Lawrence, too, was blushing deeply. Mrs. Gordon, however, laughed, as if Adam had told a splendid joke.

"I like this young man! He has a great sense of humor!" she crowed. Richard stared at his wife, realizing she didn't understand what Adam had said or meant. Adam, looking completely serious and impassive, read his menu for another moment, and then said,

"I'll have spaghetti and meat balls with garlic bread."

The embarrassed waiter jotted down the order and hurried away. Lawrence gave a stern look to Adam. But he should've taken Adam's comment as a forewarning. He should've realized how Adam was coping with his fear, nerves, confusion, stress, and other emotions.

Once the food came, the dinner went fairly well. The conversations were comfortable and entertaining. But Adam would not calm down. He fidgeted the entire time and sat rigid and tense. Midway through the meal, Adam threw all of his emotions into one and took action. It was something Lawrence would never forget, and would still blush about every time he thought about it.

He felt Adam's hand clamp down on his crotch. He jumped at the sudden spark of arousal, his knee slamming against the bottom of the table, clattering knives and forks. His parents looked up at him.

"S-Sorry, I had a muscle spasm. What were you saying about the stock market, dad?" he said, his voice a little shaky. He glared over at Adam. But the glare faded quickly when he noticed the look of intense lust in Adam's eyes, which had darkened a shade, the pupils looking blown up in size. Lawrence's cheeks flushed, and he knocked Adam's hand away, continuing to eat his dinner.

Not even five seconds later, Adam's hand was back, and rubbing Lawrence's crotch. He swallowed a gasp. Adam, who was watching Lawrence, kneaded his knuckles harder against the growing bulge. Lawrence struggled to keep from acting suspicious, and merely stared at his dinner plate as his father went on and on about the stock market. Just when his pants seemed much too tight, his balls aching painfully, Adam's fingers undid the button and zipper, slid down into Lawrence's briefs, and gripped his cock tightly.

Lawrence was breathing quickly, his hands trembling, and he was biting his lower lip hard enough to draw blood, fighting to not make a sound. His parents didn't notice; they were too busy digging into their meals. Adam began masturbating for Lawrence, his own erection visible through his pants. One look at Adam's face, those dark eyes closed with concentration, pale cheeks flushed slightly, his dark hair mussed from running his fingers through it out of stress throughout the dinner…All of it threw Lawrence over the edge.

Adam's rough hand became slightly slick by Lawrence's pre-cum. It was becoming harder to remain silent. The rubbing and pulling at his cock was driving him out of his mind. He quickly shoved Adam out of the booth, zipping up his pants, and stood up. Adam was on his elbows on the carpet, his lust-filled eyes gazing up at Lawrence as he stood. Lawrence's parents looked up, confused and startled.

"I just remembered that there's something I need to tell Adam about, in private. Excuse us for a few minutes," Lawrence said breathlessly, yanking Adam up off the floor and practically dragging him to the men's restroom.

The bathroom was huge and as fancy as the restaurant itself. Each stall was large, but Lawrence shoved Adam into the handicap stall. The floor was carpeted, and there was a large, comfortable couch in the stall. By the sink was a bottle of soap, hand lotion, and a rack of fluffy towels. Adam pulled Lawrence into the stall, pushed him onto the couch, and locked the stall's door. He then kicked off his shoes, pulled off his belt and jacket, and unbuttoned his shirt. He stepped out of his boxers, adding them to the pile of his clothes. When he turned around, Lawrence had undressed as well, and was lying on the couch, waiting impatiently for Adam, stroking his huge, hardened cock.

Adam clambered on top of Lawrence, straddling him, and brushed his fingers down Lawrence's torso. Lawrence was scowling at him.

"I can't believe you did this," Lawrence said. He looked like he was about to continue scolding, so Adam ground his erection hard against Lawrence's. Lawrence moaned with pleasure, his hips jerking up.

"You know you like it," Adam purred, sliding backward and kissing Lawrence's inner thigh.

"N-No, I'm angry with you," Lawrence insisted, though a drop of sweat had rolled down his flushed face. Adam licked Lawrence's weeping cock. Lawrence gripped Adam's shoulders painfully tight.

"C'mon, admit it. Public sex is fucking hot," Adam said, trailing his tongue over one of Lawrence's balls. Lawrence was panting by now.

"Adam, please," he begged, writhing on the couch. Adam shook his head, nipping at Lawrence's thigh.

"Not until you say it," he replied, smirking. Lawrence suddenly grabbed Adam's own erection, causing Adam to cry out in shock and pleasure.

"It is, it's hot, I love it, and if you don't fuck me right now, I'm going to murder you," Lawrence finally said. Adam rocked in Lawrence's fist for a moment, and then ducked his head between Lawrence's legs, taking the doctor's large prick into his mouth and taking it as far as he could. Lawrence arched his back, gasping and digging his fingers into Adam's back, nearly choking Adam, who sucked for maybe a minute before Lawrence pulled Adam up and kissed him fiercely. Adam was grinning wildly. It was obvious that he was enjoying this very much.

Lawrence kissed Adam for as long as both could stand it, and then released him. While Adam was gasping for air, his chest heaving against Lawrence's, Lawrence bit down on the flesh connecting Adam's neck and shoulder, leaving his mark of love. Adam whimpered in pain, though Lawrence could feel Adam's pre-cum trickling down his thigh. He kissed the mark to ease the pain, and then kissed Adam again.

Adam got up and walked clumsily over to the sink, grabbing a bottle of lotion. He plopped down onto the couch again. While Adam slathered his cock with the lotion, not really knowing if it was healthy to do so, Lawrence sat up and kissed Adam's lips, nipping at the lower lip. Sitting in his lap, chests touching, Adam kissed back, opening his mouth to allow Lawrence's tongue to enter. He lowered Lawrence back down, never breaking the kiss, and slid his index finger, slick with lotion, inside of Lawrence's entrance to ease the tension. Lawrence had put his hot mouth against Adam's throat, though he didn't bite him this time. The feeling sent a shiver down Adam's spine, and he slid another finger inside. Lawrence groaned against Adam's throat and put his strong arms around Adam's back. Once he had three fingers worked in, he pulled them out, and then pushed himself inside of Lawrence, once he'd turned him onto his stomach. For a moment, both men froze as they got used to the feeling. Then Adam slowly began to move.

"Lawrence, are you in here?"

Adam froze, his eyes widening, and Lawrence could feel the other man's cock growing soft inside of him.

"Yeah, dad…I'm sorry, I'll be out in a few minutes," Lawrence replied, then bit Adam's nipple. Adam grew hard again and clamped a hand over his mouth to keep from uttering a noise, instead rising up. Lawrence saw the mischievous look in Adam's eyes. He mouthed the word 'no' pleadingly.

"Are you alright? You sound…strange," Lawrence's father said. Adam lowered his hand, exposing his huge smirk. Lawrence shook his head wildly.

"Dad, I'm – "

Adam slammed back inside of Lawrence, who immediately cried out loudly, his voice echoing off the walls of the bathroom. He shuddered beneath Adam as waves of pleasure shot through his body. He almost came, but resisted. Adam was looking down at him naughtily, still smirking.

"Lawrence! What's going on?" his father asked, sounding alarmed.

"Nothing! The food – Must've been something I ate. Stomach cramps….Just…Just go back to the table, I'll join you guys when I'm done," he managed to say breathlessly. Adam leaned down and pressed a hard kiss against the side of Lawrence's neck.

"Where's Adam?" his father asked. As if on cue, Adam pulled out, and then shoved back in, just as hard as the last. Lawrence flew up and bit down hard on Adam's shoulder to keep from crying out again. He was shaking all over and breathing hard. Adam flinched at the pain, but then hugged his lover tightly, rubbing his back, rocking along inside of him.

"Lawrence?" his father asked again, sounding more concerned. Lawrence finally raised his head, and Adam lowered him back down onto the soft couch.

"I talked to him, and then he went outside for fresh air for his asthma. He'll probably be back before I am," Lawrence replied, his body sliding up and down a little on the couch as Adam continued thrusting deeper, hitting that glorious pocket of nerves over and over. Lawrence saw stars.

"Oh, alright. Well, I'll meet you at the table. Mom carries around Tums, so when you get back, just ask her for some," his father said. Lawrence gasped,

"Okay," and his father left.

"You…jerk…" Lawrence breathed, his back arching, moaning as Adam pulled out and then shoved back in again. Adam smiled sweetly, sweat trickling down his flushed face and biceps. Lawrence could see the muscles twitching. Adam grew faster and harder in what he was doing. Lawrence knew he was going to make Adam pay for this embarrassing feat. He would fuck Adam so hard that the boy wouldn't be able to get out of bed for a whole day. He came close to coming often, but he resisted, enjoying this. Finally, he glanced up, saw Adam's young face worked up in concentration, his eyes closed, his bangs matted to his forehead, and Lawrence came. His body shook as he rode out his orgasm, and he felt Adam come inside of him. They enjoyed their orgasm together, and Lawrence caught Adam when the boy fell forward, completely exhausted and aching from moving so fast and hard. Lawrence stroked his sweaty, trembling back.

"I'm going to make you pay for that, you know," Lawrence said, giving Adam's hot lips a kiss. Adam smiled.

"Is that a threat or a promise?" he replied, sliding out of Lawrence as the doctor pushed him up.

"Both," Lawrence said, grinning.

The two men washed up and got dressed. Adam went to the table first. Five minutes later, Lawrence went back. Adam had the Gordon parents engaged in a cheerful, humorous conversation. His father was bellowing laughter, and his mother was laughing so hard that tears streamed down her wrinkly face. Lawrence joined his boyfriend at the table, sliding an arm around his waist, and pecking his cheek affectionately.

"Oh, Lucille, give Lawrence some Tums. He was ill in the bathroom," Richard Gordon said suddenly. Lawrence shook his head.

"No need, I feel all better, I promise," Lawrence said, smiling. Adam grinned at him.

After that, the dinner went beautifully without an ounce of trouble.

**Thank you for reading! Please REVIEW! :)**


	17. Chapter 17: Happy Birthday, Diana!

**Disclaimers: I do not own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Others: I'm sorry that it took me so incredibly long to update this chapter. I've had a horrible case of writer's block. But I'm back, hahah. I'd like to dedicate this chapter to the anonymous person who left three very nice reviews. I usually thank each reviewer through messages, but because it's anonymous, I am unable to do so. Thank you very much, I really appreciated them. :) Thank you all for reading this far, and I hope you're enjoying it. Feel free to leave suggestions/advise/opinions, etc. I think this is going pretty well, so far. :) **

The day that Lawrence, his parents, Diana, and Adam went to the American Museum of Natural History was a chilly one. And for that, Lawrence was glad. Because he got to see Adam wearing a black leather jacket; Adam _made _that jacket look sexy, in Lawrence's opinion. He would've been the star model for that brand of jacket. It hugged his torso perfectly, tight in the right way. Beneath the jacket, Adam wore a white undershirt, of course. He wore his usual white Nike's, and a pair of low-cut dark-washed jeans. Lawrence was glancing over his shoulder every twenty seconds to check him out. Of course, Adam was too oblivious to realize. He was too busy chatting to Diana, who was looking up at him with great interest and love.

It was also Diana's birthday, which was why they were visiting the museum. She was turning eight, and wanted to go to the museum that her grandparents said was packed with amazing information. She loved Indians the best.

Walking in front of Lawrence was his parents, who walked hand in hand, talking happily. They loved history, as did Lawrence, though he preferred science. Diana, too, enjoyed history, because her grandparents told her wonderful stories about Native American Indians, evil kings who slaughtered their wives, beautiful princesses, brave soldiers, and more. As usual, Adam was a mystery; they had no idea whether or not he liked history. All Lawrence knew was that Adam had never been to a museum.

"Diana, look both ways, we're crossing the cross-walk. Adam, walk behind her to make sure she gets across," Lawrence called over his shoulder.

"So I walked around the side of the house, because I couldn't see in, and all of a sudden – Holy shit! " Adam was saying, his sentence breaking off into a shocked curse.

There was a squeal of tires, a loud bump, and Diana screamed. Lawrence's heart stopped. Time seemed to slow down horribly as he and his parents whirled around in unison to find a taxi with a smashed headlight stopped in the middle of the cross-walk, and Adam sprawled across the road. Diana stood inches from the car, her eyes wide, her mouth dropped open in a scream. Lawrence's eyes widened in horror; Adam had gotten hit by a car.

The taxi driver leaped out of the car and rushed towards Adam just as Lawrence raced over, kneeling down beside Adam. However, Adam pushed himself up into a sitting position and stood up shakily.

"It's cool, I'm alright, I'm fine," he declared, patting himself down. There was a bad scrape on his cheek, and blood streamed from it and his split lower lip. Lawrence glared at the cabbie.

"You could've killed him!" he snapped. The cabbie glared right back.

"Well, it's obvious that he's fine, so calm down and shut up," he snapped back. Adam turned to him and shoved his shoulder, causing him to stumble back.

"Hey, fuck you. Get back in your fucking taxi before I decide to fake a neck injury, asshole," Adam said, licking blood from his lip. The threat made the cabbie nervous. He grumbled to himself in Spanish and went back into his taxi while they finished crossing the road. Diana took Adam's hand.

"Adam, are you alright?" Lawrence asked concerned. His parents came over, and Lucille tutted over the scrape on Adam's cheek. She rummaged around in her purse and handed him a wad of tissues, which he held to his bleeding cheek.

"Yeah, peachy. Calm down, Lawrence, I've been in way worse situations. He only bumped me. I'm just glad that I was able to push Diana out of the way in time. She's smaller than me, she would've been a whole lot worse off," Adam replied. Diana beamed up at Adam.

"He saved my life, daddy!" she exclaimed happily. Adam grinned down at her.

"I'm glad you're alright, Adam. And thank you for protecting my daughter. I owe you," Lawrence said. Adam smirked at him.

"You can pay me back tonight," he said. Lucille took Diana's hand.

"Are we all ready to go?" Richard asked. Lawrence and Adam nodded, so they continued their way to the museum.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They decided to go to the somewhat new planetarium before they actually began their fascinating history experience through the museum. A show called 'Journey to the Stars' was about to play, so they quickly entered the large globe-like room, and took their seats. Richard sat towards the end with Lucille on his right. Diana sat beside her, Lawrence sat beside Diana, and Adam sat beside Lawrence. Everyone in the room chatted amongst each other while they waited for the show to begin.

"Where's the screen?" Adam asked, leaning to the side to try to see if there was a screen towards the front of the room.

"It's the white globe," Lawrence replied, gesturing towards the ceiling and walls. Adam looked curious as he peered about. Lawrence didn't think Adam would like the show. He wasn't surprised when Adam gripped his hand when the lights went out. Diana giggled excitedly.

Whoopi Goldberg narrated the show as the room became pitch-black. Stars popped out everywhere, brilliant, bright white stars. The show was half an hour long. Everyone was deeply engrossed; even Adam. His eyes glinted with thought and interest as he tilted his head back and stared as stars glittered and planets appeared. He had a strange look on his face, one that Lawrence had never seen before, but wanted to figure out.

When the marvelous show was over, everyone stood up and began talking about how much they enjoyed the show. Diana talked loudly and excitedly to her grandparents about how she loved the planet Saturn the best, and that she thought the planet Pluto was adorable, tiny, and colored a pretty blue. Lawrence smiled at Adam.

"Did you like the show?" he asked. Adam nodded, and for some reason Lawrence had a strong urge to kiss him. He just looked very attractive today, and he was serious for once. It was…different. But Lawrence resisted, and merely squeezed his hand instead. Adam smiled at him, and they left the globe.

"Where to next?" Richard asked cheerfully. Diana was sitting on Adam's shoulders. She cried,

"I want to go see the Native Americans that grandma told me about!"

So that was where they went next. When they entered that 'hall', Adam set Diana down so that she could look at all the artifacts and pictures.

"Diana, stay with grandpa! Do not leave his side! There are a lot of people here, and I don't want you to get lost," he called. Diana gave him a thumbs up and ran to a wax display of Indians.

"Look, grandpa, this Indian girl has a baby tied to her back!" she exclaimed. Her grandmother was in the gift shop, looking at a row of Indian dolls. She bought the prettiest one that came with a small sack of tiny supplies and a removable papoose. It cost fifty five dollars. An informative booklet on Indians and Indian mothers was taped to the back of the box.

"Happy birthday, babycakes," Lucille said, handing the package to her granddaughter. Diana peered through the plastic front, saw the Native American doll, and squealed with joy. A few passersby smiled at her as she threw her arms around her grandmother and hugged her tightly.

"Thank you so much! She's beautiful!" she cried. When she released Lucille, she studied the box again, a happy smile on her face.

"I'm going to name her Tiger Lily, like in Peter Pan," Diana declared. Richard, Diana, and Lucille had a group hug.

Lawrence looked at Adam, who was watching Diana with a look of love and…Lawrence couldn't read it.

"Adam?" he said. Adam blinked and looked over at Lawrence. He smiled sheepishly.

"Sorry. I guess I was just lost in thought," he said, his eyes drifting back to the group hug. "She's a lucky kid."

Lawrence knew he was talking about how greatly she was loved. Diana got everything she could ever want or need, and was loved unconditionally. Adam grew up with nothing and was hated and abused. Lawrence wasn't surprised that Adam might feel a little...sad by witnessing the family love. He yanked Adam into a hug and pressed a kiss against the side of his neck. He could smell the leather of the jacket mingled with the Axe cologne that Adam wore, and it was highly intoxicating.

Adam was tense at first, but he quickly relaxed into the hug.

"Have I told you how incredibly sexy you look in that jacket?" Lawrence murmured. Adam grinned.

"No," he said. Lawrence kissed his jaw line.

"I want you to have a good time and only focus on us – your true family. Because we love you so much. Don't let anything ruin your time. Today will be fun," Lawrence said to him.

Adam nodded, stepping back, breaking the embrace. A few people had started to glance over.

"Alright," he said.

XXXXXXXXXXXX

It turned out that Adam liked the animal sections the best. He was an artistic person, of course, and was fascinated by the paintings. Sure, he was a photographer, but Lawrence learned that he also loved paintings, and was a highly skilled artist himself. He spent forty five minutes sketching out his favorite painting in the African Mammals section while Lawrence went into the history of the body, and Diana checked out the sea animal fossils with her grandparents. Tourists had checked out Adam's sketch, talked to him, and even got pictures with him.

Lawrence and Diana learned another skill of Adam's – he liked balloons. They found this out when Lawrence bought a bag of balloon for Diana when she saw another girl with a balloon. Adam asked for a pink balloon, so she gave him one. Lawrence and his family watched with surprise and amusement as Adam created a balloon-crown for Diana. With a crow of delight, she placed it onto her head and thanked him profusely. He then went on to make her a royal scepter, a balloon dog, and a balloon butterfly.

Soon, a large crowd of kids had gathered around Adam, and he made whatever they requested. Diana proudly stood beside him and talked about how he was the best, and that she even lived with him. Adam looked very happy as he passed out his balloon creations.

After they finished their visit at the museum, they stopped by the apartment to have cake and presents. Lucille had baked a glorious chocolate cake with vanilla frosting. 'Happy birthday, Diana' was written on the cake in beautiful script in bright, pink, glittery icing. Eight candles had been stuck into the cake.

"Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you! Happy birthday dear Diana, happy birthday to you!" they sang while Diana beamed down at her cake, her cheeks a happy rosy red, her huge, lovely eyes glittering with joy. Adam took pictures, of course, as he sang, and then got a group photo of the family in front of the cake before she blew out the candles.

They ate cake until they were stuffed, and then sat down in the living room. Presents were piled high on the coffee table. Adam had his camera at the ready.

From Lucille, Diana had received eight gorgeous outfits, two cute purses, a bag of Reece's Cups, a brand new and expensive tea party set, and of course the Native American doll from earlier.

From Richard, Diana had received an old fashioned Victorian mansion Dollhouse, fully decorated with real electricity hooked up, and a working doorbell. There were five bedrooms, an attic with a trapdoor, a kitchen, three bathrooms, a living room, a nursery, a playroom, a library, an office, a parlor, and a dining room. There was also a garden in the back yard. It came with a large brown box full of hundreds of furniture to place in the house. The price of the dollhouse and furniture combined had been seven hundred and ninety nine dollars. The dollhouse was almost as big as Diana, and weighed almost more. It took all three men to carry it into Diana's room while Diana had a little shrieking attack because she was so insanely excited about the expensive present.

Her grandparents were very wealthy, and loved spoiling their one and only grandchild.

From Lawrence, Diana had received more clothes for her dress up trunk, a plane ticket to go to Florida with him and Adam so that they could visit Disney and other fun parks, and a fluffy, orange, kitten. The kitten was a male mainecoon named King Marmalade. Or Marmie, for short. Diana burst into tears of happiness and adoration as she hugged the kitten to her chest. King Marmalade purred and looked up at her with huge, amber-colored eyes.

And last, but not least, Diana opened Adam's presents. She always talked about how she wanted to go with Adam when he took pictures so that she could learn. So Adam had bought her (with all his money that he had earned when he sold everything in his old apartment before giving the key back to his landlady) a nice camera with excellent quality and options, a gorgeous photo album, a journal, and a packet of fifty sparkly gel pens.

Diana was very emotional when she was done opening his gifts. She hugged him tightly, tears trickling down her cheeks, and thanked him in between sobs. Adam's eyes glistened with unshed tears, and he smiled.

When she was done hugging him, she stood in front of everyone and cleared her throat.

"I want to thank you all very, very much. I…I love you all, and the gifts I received from everyone were all so lovely. I couldn't have asked for anything more or better. You are all too kind to me, and I can't thank you enough," she said, wiping tears from her face.

Adam, Lawrence, Lucille, and Richard moved in for a huge hug. Diana laughed when she saw Adam crying as well.

"Oh, look, now we're both crying," she said tearfully, letting out a burst of giggles. Adam laughed, wiping his face.

"Sorry, Diana, it's just that this is very…" his voice trailed off as he struggled to explain his situation. But Diana merely kissed his wet cheek.

"I love you, Adam!" she said, and he held her tightly against him. Lawrence took Adam into his arms so that he was hugging the two people he loved most, and his parents hugged both Adam and Lawrence.

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

After the emotional group hug, the apartment was cleaned, and the gifts were put away nicely, Lucille and Richard took Diana out for an evening stroll through Central Park. They knew that their son and his lover needed some alone time, now that they knew a lot about Adam, and also because they knew that Diana loved Central Park. The sky was littered with dazzling stars that night.

All in all, it was an excellent birthday full of love in ways more than one. Which was beautiful, and much needed; because they would need the lovely memories of this day to help get them through the heart break of what would happen tomorrow. Because tomorrow consisted of a phone call that started with,

"Hello, Lawrence, it's Alison, obviously. I'm back in New York, and I'll be stopping by today to pick up our daughter, who will be living with me again."

**Well...The fun lasted with Diana. Now her mother is coming to whisk her away. But...Could she be stopped? I guess you'll have to find out! Thank you for reading! Please review. :)**


	18. Chapter 18: Goodbye, Diana

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saw or any of the characters. **

**Other: Okay, so not the most interesting or best chapter I've published. But it was neccessary for a couple of reasons. 1.) Someone brought it to my attention that Lawrence needed to be the one receiving comfort for once. And the only way to truly upset Lawrence is to take Diana away. Besides, Diana needed to be out of the picture for a while, especially because of what I have in store. But, for those of you who like Diana, don't worry, she'll be back in a few chapters. 2.) I felt that Adam and Alison needed to fight a little. XD I admit that his first remark about his name was not from me. I saw it on yahoo and immediately thought of Adam. So I don't take credit for that comment. 3.) I'm preparing for a huge event. So I need to throw in as much happiness and moments of sadness as possible to get it out of my system and pleasure you guys at the same time. Not everyone will like the event, but from the people I've told, most people support the idea. **

**I wish this chapter was good enough to dedicate, because I'd really like to thank creepybride! You're the best reviewer, and your reviews always make my day. I am so happy that you're following this story and enjoying it as you are. It really does make me happy. :) They're always honest, as well, which I appreciate. I would've thanked you as soon as I got the review through message, but you're pm is blocked. In the last chapter, when I included the sex scene, I was debating whether or not to put it in. And even when I published it, I didn't like it, but I left it in there anyway. So when I got your opinion on it, I made up my mind and took it out. **

**Anyway, try to enjoy this chapter, hahah, I'll try to update a better one as soon as possible.**

The sudden shrill ring of the phone shattered the silence of the apartment. Lawrence jerked awake, bolting up, and immediately looking over at Adam out of instinct. He was used to being woken by Adam's screams. But Adam was sleeping soundly on his stomach, his head tilted to the side, facing the wall. Lawrence half-smiled, leaning over and pressing a kiss against Adam's warm back. The young man stirred slightly, but was apparently still asleep.

It was six in the morning, and everyone was sleeping, so Lawrence reached over Adam and grabbed the phone.

"Dr. Gordon speaking," he greeted, his voice still a little scratchy from sleep. He flopped back against his pillows and rubbed his eyes with his free hand.

"Hello, Lawrence, this is obviously Alison. I'm back in New York. And I'll be coming over today to take our daughter, who will be living with me," said a curt, clipped voice.

Lawrence's heart dropped, and he froze with one hand resting on his closed eyes.

"No…No, you can't do that," he said, licking his lips. His heart was pounding, and his stomach filled with butterflies.

"Excuse me?" she said, as if shocked that Lawrence would say something like that.

"Why would you want her back? You never called her, you never wrote a letter or emailed me for her to read, you were rude when she called you, you didn't even call her on her birthday yesterday…Why would you want to take her back?" Lawrence said, slowly sitting up.

Diana had been living with them for quite a while, now. He didn't want to give her up again. It had hurt so bad when he had watched Alison leave with Diana the first time, when they had moved into their own apartment after Alison divorced Lawrence. He didn't think he could handle losing her again. Sure, he'd see her on the weekends, but that wasn't good enough.

"Lawrence, she's my daughter. I love her. And, if you haven't forgotten, I cared for her more than you did. You were too obsessed with work to care about her. It was all because of you that we were stuck in that hostage situation last year. So don't question _my _parenting skills," Alison snapped. Lawrence's fingers curled inward, digging his nails into his palm.

"She loves me, Alison, and I love her. What if she doesn't want to live with you?" he said.

"I'll be over in an hour. Have her ready," his ex-wife simply said. She hung up before he could say another word. Lawrence hunched over, feeling like he might cry. He squeezed his eyes shut, and took three deep breaths. He had to calm down and stay strong. He didn't want to upset Diana.

The father of Diana miserably left the room and entered her bedroom. Diana was asleep, of course, but he gently shook her awake.

"Diana, get dressed, honey," he said, his heart aching terribly as she sat up and yawned.

"What's going on, Daddy? Why are we getting up so early?" she asked. Lawrence took another deep breath.

"I'll tell you once you're dressed. I'll wait for you in here. Just grab some clothes, go shower and brush your teeth, and get dressed. Then come back to me," he said. Diana nodded; looking a little confused, and did as she was told. Once he heard the bathroom door close, he grabbed her large suitcase out of her closet and quickly began packing up everything in her closet.

When Diana came back in forty five minutes later, having prepared herself breakfast and eaten it before doing what her father told her to do, she found all of her clothes packed up, her favorite toys in bags, and everything else she needed stuffed in boxes. Her room looked exactly how it did before she moved in with Adam and Lawrence when her mother left to help take care of Diana's other grandpa.

Lawrence knew Diana would be spending a whole lot more time at her mother's house, so he had packed up everything she had brought along with everything she had been given in the time she spent here. Diana stared at her luggage in confusion.

"Daddy…What's happening?" she asked him. But it was obvious that she had an idea, because tears began filling her eyes, and her chest began to hitch. It took all his strength and will-power to not cry.

"Your mother is back at home, and she's coming in fifteen minutes to take you back, princess," Lawrence replied, forcing himself to sound normal. The tears spilled down her cheeks, and she shook her head.

"No, daddy, please, I want to live with you and Adam," she said, beginning to sob. Lawrence held out his arms, and she ran into them, burying her face against his shoulder.

"Diana, you have to. You'll see me on weekends. Like it used to be. Don't cry, princess, you have to be good or your mother might not let you come over again," he said desperately, his voice starting to crack. Diana simply sobbed and didn't answer.

"Look, honey, you have a little more than ten minutes to say goodbye to everyone, okay? Go on and say goodbye to grandma, grandpa, and Adam," Lawrence said, focusing on staying calm. Diana stood up and wiped her face, nodding.

"That's my girl, go on," he encouraged. So Diana left the room to say goodbye to everyone.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The eight year old woke up her grandparents and hugged them goodbye, promising to write them letters, thanked them again for the beautiful presents, agreed to visit during the summer, and said she loved them both. Her grandparents kissed her cheek and sent her off to say goodbye to Adam. They didn't know how upsetting the situation was.

When Diana went to Adam, she burst into fresh tears and clambered onto the bed. She grabbed his bicep and shook him until he scrambled into a sitting position. Adam brushed her tears away with the back of his hand, glancing around the room.

"Diana, what's wrong? Where's your daddy? Is everyone alright?" he asked. She crawled into his lap and pressed her face against his warm, firm chest, sobbing. Adam was starting to become afraid. He wrapped his arms around her tightly, and stroked her long, curly brown hair.

"Adam, I don't want to leave," she cried. Adam blinked.

"What're you talking about? You don't have to go anywhere. You can chill here with me all day, if you want to. I mean, just tell your grandparents you aren't feeling well and just want to stay home all day. They won't mind. Me and you can watch a bunch of movies and stuff. I'll even bribe Lawrence to order Chinese food. Plus, don't tell your daddy, but I have a secret stash of chocolate. We can snack on that while we watch movies," he said cheerfully.

Diana cried even harder.

"My mommy is coming to take me away," she wailed. Adam took her arms, holding her out in front of him so he could see her flushed, tear-stained face and red-rimmed, puffy eyes.

"Diana, don't you love your mommy?" he asked. Her eyes widened, and she nodded.

"Of course I do. But I want to live with you and Daddy. Mommy…Mommy isn't as fun as you and Daddy. She isn't as nice…and I don't think she loves me as much as Daddy does," she said. Adam sighed and tilted his head back, glaring at the ceiling, trying to come up with something to say or do.

"Okay, Diana, take three really deep breaths. You have to calm down. We'll work something out, I promise. But in the meantime, you have to go with your mommy. Everything will be fine. We'll call you every single night, and before you know it you'll be back here with us. So be a good girl, okay? You don't want to make your daddy sad, do you?" he said. Diana shook her head in answer to his last question.

Just then, the doorbell rang. Adam carried Diana to the door. Her luggage was already there. He set her down and opened the door.

Alison stood there wearing a pair of jeans and a sky blue sweater. Her blonde hair was thrown up in a ponytail, and she glared at Adam.

"Hey bitch, how you doin'?," he said. Diana walked over and hugged her mother.

"Hi, baby," Alison said sweetly, kissing the top of Diana's head.

"Hi, mommy," she replied. Lawrence stepped up beside Adam as Alison picked up Diana.

"Her stuff is all packed up, she's had breakfast, and I'll expect to see her on Friday," Lawrence said. Alison simply stared at him as if he were dog shit she'd just stepped on.

"The wheel is turning, but the hamster's dead," Adam said, watching Alison with a faint smirk. Alison gave Adam a death glare.

"Lawrence, why is this dick-head here?" she asked.

"Alison, leave," Lawrence said.

"Hey, Adam, how's your nightlight holding up? I hear you can't go a night without it. What, do you still drag a blanket around and have your mommy check the closet for you, too?" Alison sneered. Lawrence buried his face in his hands. He knew Adam. He knew how Adam was going to react. Sure enough, Adam laughed.

"Keep my motherfucking name out of your cock-sucking mouth, you horse banging piece of shit. If you weren't a diseased whore, I'd have you pay me to Flaming Pele the fuck out of you and then give your corpse a Boston Steamer," Adam said.

Alison's mouth dropped open.

"Wh-What did you just say to me? You're the cock-sucker!" she spluttered, at a loss for words.

"And you don't suck cock? What, so you're a lesbian? Keep talking, maybe someday you'll say something intelligent," Adam said, as if he were bored.

"Listen, fag. From my point of view – "

"Oh, I'd love to see things from your point of view, but unfortunately I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass," Adam interrupted. Alison opened her mouth to finish what she was saying, and Adam leaned forward to insult her further, but Lawrence stepped in between them.

"That's enough!" he shouted. "Are you forgetting that there's an eight year old right here? Alison, just get in your car and buckle Diana up. I'll put her luggage in the trunk."

Alison turned and left with Diana without another word, and Lawrence looked over at Adam.

"Was that necessary?" he asked him. Adam gave Lawrence a brilliant smile.

"Absolutely. It felt good, too," he replied. Lawrence rolled his eyes and grabbed as much luggage as he could. Adam took the rest. Together, they loaded Alison's trunk with it, and then closed the lid. Lawrence walked to the passenger's window, and Diana rolled it down, sniffling.

"Bye, princess," he said softly, leaning in and giving her a kiss. A few more tears trickled down Diana's red cheeks. He brushed them away, and said,

"Be a good girl. I'll see you Friday," he said. Diana nodded.

"I love you, daddy," she told him thickly. Lawrence's eyes filled with tears.

"I love you too, baby," he answered. He had barely stepped away from the car when Alison drove off. He watched the car disappear from sight, his heart breaking.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam was sitting on the couch leafing through the phone book when he heard the front door close.

"Hey, Lawrence, can we please order Chinese food? I know you're a health nut and all, but I'm craving some of that noodle stuff and that red, sticky chicken. I always forge the names of everything, but you know what I like," he called. He didn't get a reply.

"Lawrence, did you hear what I said?" he called louder. When he still didn't get an answer, he got off the couch and turned around. Lawrence was leaning against the door, his face buried in his hands.

Adam hurried over and took Lawrence's hands, removing them from the doctor's face. Tears streamed down Lawrence's face, and Adam was startled into silence. The last time he'd seen Lawrence cry was when they were in the bathroom and Lawrence was listening to Alison and Diana screaming on the phone that Jigsaw had left them. Seeing Lawrence cry was heart breaking, and it made him nervous. But he reached up and brushed away his lover's tears.

"Lawrence," he said softly, at a loss of words. Lawrence forced a laugh and walked away, sitting down on the couch, shaking his head.

"Sorry, sorry, don't mind me, I'm just –"

Adam sat down on Lawrence's lap, his knees on either side of Lawrence's hips, and kissed him.

"Hey, man, don't apologize. You're always here for me when I'm scared or upset. Which is all the time; you know me. You've got a lot of patience to deal with a dude like me. I want to be here for you for a change. Don't feel like you've got to be my rock or something. Talk to me," he said, running his fingers through Lawrence's soft blonde hair.

Lawrence looked at Adam and saw the care and affection clear in his eyes. It was sweet, and Lawrence put his arms around him, pulling him into an embrace. Adam accepted the hug, nuzzling his face against the side of Lawrence's neck.

"I love Diana so much. And Alison…Alison doesn't deserve to have her! I mean, she was a wonderful mother before we divorced. She was the perfect mother. We used to get in fights all the time, because I'd be at work a lot, or doing paperwork at home, and she insisted I didn't care enough about her and Diana. But I did. I would die for Diana. You saw me cut my foot off in the bathroom…That was to save Diana," Lawrence said, his voice breathy as he swallowed sobs.

"And then Alison divorced me, and it was like a switch had been flicked. She went from perfect mother to uncaring bitch. Diana isn't going to be very happy there. When she's here, we treat her like she's a precious darling. But when she's with her mother, she's treated like an annoying kid who needs to be shuffled aside. Some people might think Diana's spoiled because of us, but I know she doesn't act it. It doesn't go to her head. Diana's a sweet heart, and I am proud to be her father. I want her back," he continued.

He sobbed for a few minutes, Adam rubbing his back soothingly, and then finished up,

"Alison never called once. She never wrote a letter or an email, she never sent a present for her birthday; nothing. So why does she want to take Diana back, if Diana's only a nuisance to her? Just a mouth to feed and a body to wash? I don't understand it. I'd bet my life she's doing it just to spite me," he said, taking a few deep breaths.

Adam kissed the side of Lawrence's neck and then continued rubbing his back.

"Exactly; she knows how much you care about Diana. She knows that by taking Diana, she's hitting you where it hurts the most. It's like mentally bitch-slapping you for her. And the only way to defend yourself against those mental blows that are scored in her mind is to act like you don't care when she takes Diana. Act nonchalant, as if you're thinking 'fuck this shit, I'll see her Friday, it's all cool, feel free to take her for the week, bitch.' She's looking for a reaction," Adam explained.

"Women like her are all about the attention and reactions. They enjoy watching people get upset. They kick them while they're down. So fight back. Don't give her a reaction. But to deal with the hurt in the inside, once she's gone, remember that you'll be seeing her again over the weekend. And, Lawrence, I don't think this is permanent. I have a strong feeling that little Diana will be back here to live with us again, throwing glitter at me and forcing me to wear big purple fairy wings while she crams cookies down my throat and pushes cups of tea at me. Everything will be alright, Lawrence, I promise," he went on.

Lawrence held Adam tightly, breathing in the young man's scent – a mix of faint smoke and Axe cologne. He felt immense love for him. He was trying so hard to help Lawrence feel better…It was touching. Adam was successful in calming Lawrence. Lawrence suddenly felt the same feeling – he believed that Diana would be back.

For a long time, they sat in that position embracing, occasionally giving each other kisses. Lawrence grinned and spoke up.

"I have to admit, it was so great watching you totally destroy her at the door. She was stunned! I've never seen her at a loss of words before. She has a sharp tongue," Lawrence said, chuckling. Adam smirked.

"Yeah, it felt awesome. I could've kept going if you hadn't interrupted, Dr. Killjoy," he replied. Lawrence shook his head and kissed Adam's lips.

"No, no, no, Diana was right there, and I didn't want her any more exposed to your colorful vocabulary and remarks than she already was," he said, stroking Adam's face, his fingers moving into Adam's soft, dark hair.

"I love you, even though you don't appreciate my colorfulness," Adam said with a playful grin. Lawrence laughed, taking Adam's hand and entwining their fingers.

"And I love you, even though you don't appreciate my rules," he replied. Adam rose an eyebrow.

"Touche," Adam said. Both men laughed, and Adam leaned forward and kissed Lawrence deeply.

"Don't worry. She'll be back. And in the meantime, I'm here for you. I always will be," Adam murmured against Lawrence's lips when the kiss was broken. Lawrence blinked back tears, the love in Adam's voice so strong, and closed his eyes. Adam's arms went around Lawrence's neck, and he tugged him closer, continuing the broken kiss.

Diana would be back. And both men had a sneaking feeling that she would be living with them again soon. All they had to do was wait patiently.

**Hope you enjoyed it, and thank you so much for reading it! As I always say, please review. :) **


	19. Chapter 19: Stress and Love

**Disclaimers: I do not own Saw or any of the characters in it.**

**Other: Hi! I just got back from a four day vacation at Savannah, Georgia. It was really great and very fun, even when it was a hundred and two degrees outside. Here's a quick chapter that was mostly meant to get rid of the grandparents. Their absence would make my next few chapters a lot easier. I threw in the fight for a bit of spice, since they've never had a 'serious' fight before, mostly childish bickering. Besides, they won't be arguing much for a while, anyway. I guess it shows how strong his paternal love is for Diana, not to mention the bad memories of the divorce and custody he must've received. **

**Anyway, before I let you guys read this chapter, I'd like to inform you about the next one. It's going to be a celebration chapter to celebrate the fact that we've reached 20. xD So it's random, silly, and cute. I'll upload it at the same time as chapter 21 in case you don't want to read the celebration chapter. **

**Enjoy!**

The week after Alison took Diana back was slow and miserable. Lawrence wasn't as cheerful and talkative as he usually was. He'd come home from work, drop his brief case, shoes, and coat by the door, grab a bite to eat, and then disappear into the bedroom, leaving Adam to pick everything up and put them away neatly. Adam would watch this every day, leaning against the wall, noting how Lawrence's shoulders sagged and his blonde hair almost as messy as Adam's. He didn't speak much – a mumbled greeting when he came home and a quiet goodbye when he went to work.

When he was in the bedroom, he'd peel off his clothes and climb into bed wearing only his briefs. And after Adam finished cleaning up after Lawrence, he'd slip quietly into the bedroom and join his lover on the bed, lying beside him and speaking softly about his day, stroking Lawrence's warm, muscular arm, brushing his fingertips across his chest. During these times, Lawrence wouldn't say much. He'd simply gaze at Adam and listen.

The apartment was a lot quieter without Diana. The sound of clattering plates, random peals of little-girl laughter, pleads to play dress-up, and small feet hitting the wood floor were all missing. It was strange to not glance over your shoulder and see Diana grinning beautifully, dressed in a fairy princess costume and clutching a stuffed animal of some sort. It was harder on Lawrence. He'd gotten used to living with her all over again, only to have her torn away from him for a second time.

Lawrence's parents weren't always there – they liked touring New York and visiting old friends. So Adam was often alone at the apartment while Lawrence was at work, unless he went out to go drink with his buddies or take photos for his album. During these somewhat lonely times, Adam was tempted to return to being a voyeur. But he resisted, remembering his promise to Lawrence.

On the fifth day of Lawrence's sadness, Adam decided to talk to him about snapping back to reality. Diana was gone, and she would be back, so Adam didn't want to see Lawrence moping and silent anymore. It made him feel bad, like he was incapable of keeping Lawrence happy enough to survive the week. Diana would be coming over tomorrow morning, and Lawrence's parents were leaving today.

When Lawrence came home, he followed his routine of dropping his stuff at the door, grabbing a bite to eat, and then disappearing off to the bedroom. Adam followed him in, ignoring Lawrence's things.

"Look, Lawrence, you gotta stop. I understand you're upset, I truly do. Diana's your daughter; of course you're upset that your ex-wife took her. But you can't mope around and sulk until she comes back. What, are you going to do that for the rest of your life? Man, you gotta cheer up and snap out of it. She'll be back tomorrow morning for the weekend. Why do you gotta be like this?" he said, leaning against the bedroom wall and crossing his arms over his bare chest. Lawrence sighed, getting into bed.

"Adam, I'm in no mood to fight with you right now," the doctor stated indifferently. Adam glared at him.

"You're not in the mood to do anything. Except sulk," he said.

"That's not true," Lawrence said. Adam walked over to the bed, leaning over Lawrence.

"Yes, it is true. When's the last time you laughed at one of my jokes, let alone smiled? When's the last time you cooked us a meal, cleaned up after yourself, started a conversation with me, asked me to go somewhere, sat down and watched a movie with me, or even touched me?" Adam challenged. Lawrence got out of bed, causing Adam to back up.

"You want me to touch you? Yeah? Here, I'll touch you," Lawrence said, pushing Adam backward. Anger flared up in Adam's eyes as he was pushed up against the wall.

"As my boyfriend, you should be understanding. You should understand the grief and stress I'm going through, and just leave me alone to cope with it," Lawrence snarled, his hands digging into Adam's shoulders as he pushed him even harder against the wall.

"It's because I am your boyfriend that I'm trying to help you wake up out of your misery. For four and a half days, I've watched you act dead and…gone. I look into your eyes, and I see nothing. I helped you the best I could, and you know that, Lawrence, you know that I care and understand. How can I leave you alone when I know the pain you're going through of having that bitch take your daughter? But you know what? I can't feel much sympathy when I see you still sulking and moping even though you know she'll be here tomorrow morning. It's not like she died. You'll see her every weekend, and plus more if Alison decides to go travel without her again," Adam replied, struggling to remain calm.

"You're so selfish, Adam! You're spoiled and selfish. You don't care about how I feel. You just want some attention. And that's screwed up; after all I've done for you. Almost every night, you wake me up because of nightmares. You scream and cry, and before you go to bed you make me check the closet and under the bed. But did I ever complain? Did I ever say 'Hey, Adam, cheer up and snap out of it, why do you gotta be like this? After all, it's been a year since the bathroom event, you need to wake up and realize that Jigsaw won't be coming back for you'? No! I did my best to keep you happy and comforted. I stayed up at night and held you as you sobbed," Lawrence yelled, his grip on Adam's shoulders bruising.

"And now it's your turn to be the supportive one. But this is the thanks I get for all those times," he snarled, pushing him again. Adam's cheeks were flushed red, and his eyes looked glazed.

"That's not fucking fair, Lawrence. I'm just trying to help you. I don't like seeing you so upset. It upsets me. I love you, and I want you to be happy," Adam insisted, his voice ragged.

"Of course I'm upset! I can't live with my daughter! Alison doesn't deserve her. I only get to see my daughter on weekends. How am I supposed to be happy, Adam?" Lawrence shouted. Adam knocked Lawrence away, a few tears trickling down his flushed cheeks.

"Don't fucking yell at me, Lawrence," Adam screamed, rubbing his throbbing, aching arms. "Maybe you should be happy because you live with your boyfriend, who fucking loves you, and would die for you, and is just trying to help."

Lawrence's eyes narrowed in anger.

"Okay, so now you're going to pull the tears-act and try to make me feel guilty? You're the one who's wrong, Adam! You're the wrong one here, not me! You're selfish and uncaring," he yelled, pointing at him accusingly. Adam forced a laugh.

"Oh, so I'm the wrong one? You need to wake up, Lawrence," he said. In the blink of an eye, Lawrence had Adam against the wall again. Adam could have easily gotten away. He was smaller than Lawrence, but he was quicker, and could fight better. But he didn't. He stared at Lawrence silently, blinking away tears of frustration and hurt,

"Yes, you are the wrong one. And I'm done fighting with you. Get out of the bedroom. Right now. You're sleeping in the living room. And you're not coming with me to drop off my parents. I don't want to look at you. You're making me feel sick with your selfishness and lack of care," Lawrence snarled. Adam's chest hitched, and he began to hyperventilate. Lawrence rolled his eyes and pushed Adam away.

"I can't breathe," Adam gasped, leaning against the wall with one hand, the other hand on his chest.

"Shut the hell up, Adam. Get out and go sit down in the living room. You'll be fine. It's all in your fucking mind," Lawrence said, getting into bed. Adam staggered out of room, slamming the door behind him. He left the apartment and slumped outside the door, dragging his knees up to his chest, and hyperventilated.

He'd only wanted to help Lawrence…But instead he'd angered him. His arms hurt badly, and he knew they'd be pretty bruised tomorrow. Footsteps were suddenly heard, and he looked up to see Lucille and Richard hurrying over to him.

"Adam! Dear, what's wrong? Richard, go get Lawrence, quick!" Lucille cried, kneeling down beside Adam and stroking his sweaty, tear-streaked face.

"N-No, don't," Adam said to Richard, who froze in his tracks on the way to the door.

"Why not? He's a surgeon, he'll know what to do," Lucille said, sounding shocked. Adam shook his head, waited until he had enough air to speak, and then sobbed out,

"Just don't, please."

Lucille pulled Adam into a hug, and rubbed his back comfortingly, speaking soothing words to him. Richard, meanwhile, went inside the apartment. He went into his son's bedroom. Lawrence was getting dressed, and looked over at his father.

"What happened?" Richard asked. Lawrence looked away, sliding on his belt.

"I don't know what you're talking about," he mumbled.

"Adam's outside… I think he's having an attack of some kind," his father said. Lawrence stared at his reflection, making sure he looked alright.

"He'll be fine. Are you and mom ready to go?" he said. Richard looked at his son strangely.

"Yes, we're ready to go," Lawrence's father finally said. The two went to the guest bedroom and carried the luggage out of the apartment. Adam was standing, leaning against the rail with his back to Lawrence and Richard. Lucille was speaking quietly to him.

"Mom, we're leaving, are you ready?" Lawrence asked. Lucille turned, but Adam didn't.

"Yes, I am," she replied. She looked back at Adam.

"It was a splendid time being with you, Adam. I really enjoyed my visit. I expect you, Lawrence, and Diana to visit Richard and I over the summer. You're a sweet young man, and I look forward to seeing you again," she said, giving Adam's cheek a kiss. He hugged her.

"Thank you, Mrs. Gordon. It was nice meeting you, too," he replied quietly, his voice husky. Lucille joined her son and husband, and the three left for the airport. Adam turned and went back inside the apartment.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"You are blessed with a wonderful young man, Lawrence. Take excellent care of him. Thank you so much for the lovely visit, it was great seeing you three," Lucille said, hugging her son tightly at the airport. Richard nodded in agreement.

"I love you, mom and dad. I'll make sure to call, and we'll arrange our next reunion soon, I promise. Diana wants to write to you every week, so look forward to her letters," Lawrence said, hugging his father next. They spoke for a little longer, and then his parents left to board their plane. Lawrence watched them go, and he felt as if someone had splashed a bucket of cold water at him after a long sleep.

He was blessed with a young man like Adam, who loved him dearly. And he had hurt Adam. Adam was only trying to help. He was trying to snap Lawrence back to reality. Lawrence realized how lonely and sad Adam must have felt when Lawrence would simply sleep all day and not speak to Adam, despite Adam's efforts to touch him and speak to him. He realized the love and affection in the caresses that Adam would give Lawrence as Adam spoke softly, his voice brimming with hope that maybe Lawrence would break from his depressed state and respond. But Lawrence never did.

He realized that Adam had been right. Diana would be visiting on weekends. She wasn't gone forever. And most importantly, she would be coming over tomorrow morning. He had had no right to act so terribly to the point where Adam had been driven to tears and a panic attack. Lawrence rubbed at his face, guilt and shame overwhelming him.

"What have I done?" he mumbled. He ran out of the airport, ignoring the strange looks he was given, and leaped into his car.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Adam had taken a clean sheet and tucked it into the cushions of the couch, propped up several pillows against the arm, and then spread a blanket across the couch. When Lawrence walked into the apartment, the lights were off except for the table lamps, and Adam was lying on the couch beneath the blanket. He could hear Adam's uneven breathing. Lawrence went over to Adam and knelt down beside the couch. He was sleeping. Lawrence looked at Adam's arm and felt the sharp prick of tears at the back of his eyes. Nasty bruises were forming in the shape of fingers on both arms.

Lawrence reached out and stroked Adam's face. Adam jerked backward, his eyes opening.

"Adam…I'm sorry. I was completely and horribly wrong. There was no excuse for me to act like that. I can't believe myself. I…I hurt you. I was cruel and wrong. You aren't anything like I said. You aren't selfish or spoiled or uncaring. You tried so hard to comfort me and cheer me up…And I didn't appreciate your efforts. I'm so sorry, Adam. I can't even describe how awful I feel. Could you forgive me?" Lawrence said. Adam blinked, looking at him.

"I shouldn't have neglected you. I was upset that Diana was taken…Not that is a righteous excuse for the way I acted. You…You're a blessing to me. I love you so much…And I treated you like shit earlier. That was so incredibly wrong of me. And…And I…I'm so sorry," Lawrence continued. Adam's eyes were shining as well. There was a silence, and then Adam reached up. He curled his arm, warm from sleep, around Lawrence's neck, tugged him down, and kissed him. He then rested his forehead against Lawrence's and gazed at him through half-closed lids.

"Lawrence…You know what I really want right now?" he murmured, brushing his lips across Lawrence's jaw, nipping at his earlobe.

"Hot make-up sex?" Lawrence guessed, grinning. Adam paused, and grinned widely.

"Yes, that too…But I'd really like some Chinese food," he said. Lawrence laughed, pulling his boyfriend into his arms and hugged him tightly, pressing a kiss against the side of Adam's neck.

"I'm sorry, too, Lawrence. I should've been more…gentle," Adam said, clinging to Lawrence, inhaling his scent. He had been so afraid that he'd lost Lawrence, that Lawrence would kick him out. But here he was, offering sex and agreeing to Chinese food. It made Adam want to cry and laugh at the same time.

"No, don't be sorry. You did nothing wrong. I hurt you," Lawrence said, running his fingers through Adam's soft hair. Adam didn't reply. An hour later, they were sitting in a Chinese restaurant with heaping plates of food, Adam chatting away cheerfully, looking up at Lawrence with a huge grin. He was wearing a long-sleeved black V-neck to hide the bruises, and a pair of jeans. Lawrence held his hand across the table, smiling back.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Daddy, Adam!" Diana shrieked, bursting into the apartment with her Strawberry Shortcake backpack and matching suitcase. Both men rushed out and scooped her into a hug.

"Baby, oh princess," Lawrence said, kissing her cheek. Adam grinned at Diana.

"Hey girl," he greeted warmly, stepping back to let Lawrence have his time with her. She grinned back at him.

"Guess what I brought for you, Adam?" she said. Adam pretended to look suspicious.

"What?" he replied. Diana whipped out a pair of large purple, sparkly wings and a bottle of glitter from behind her back.

**Thanks for reading! I hope you've liked it...I was very hesitant to upload this chapter, and twice I came close to deleting it all. I'm VERY nervous about posting ch. 21 and the few after that, because I don't know if everyone will accept/enjoy/etc it. So, I thank everyone who's read this far, and everyone who has left reviews. :) **


	20. Chapter 20: The Patient

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: I'm sorry for taking so long to update! I lost all motivation for a really long time. I almost didn't continue - I was going to let this rot in a corner and collect dust. But...Well, somehow I regained interest. I couldn't write the 'celebration' chapter I promised. I tried. But I couldn't. I didn't have the feel for it; so we're just going to continue on. I can't promise happy chapters from here. Because if I did, I'd be lying. So enjoy tragedy and horror for the next couple of chapters. XD **

**Thank you to those who are still reading along and reviewing. It makes me happy to know that people like my work. :)**

**Also, to those who are fans of the movie Inception, or know people who do: I'm in the process of writing an Arthur x Eames for Inception. I can't say how long I'll take before publishing, but it's just a heads-up. ^^ Enjoy the chapter!**

Rain poured from the swollen gray clouds in thick sheets, splashing against the road and sidewalks heavily, sliding off of umbrellas and cars as smooth as butter across a hot pan. Sitting in his office, a pen in his stilled hand, Lawrence could hear the rain drops pelting against his glass window like tiny, liquid bullets. His sharp blue eyes lifted from the paper work he was filling out and focused on the window with a look of content. Storms were always relaxing for him. The ferocity that whirled outside was simply fascinating to him. It was enjoyable to sit in his office, warm and dry, and listen to the sky weep and sob. Diana was at the apartment with Adam; he couldn't wait to hurry home to see them again in an hour. He'd left the house before they had woken up. Diana was afraid of storms, and it made him feel a twinge of guilt knowing that he couldn't be there to comfort her, and assure her that it was just God playing bowling up in Heaven. But the guilt was somewhat eased knowing that Adam was there to cuddle her and distract her from the crashing thunder and flashing lightning by playing dress up with her. The memory of seeing Adam covered in glitter and wearing a pair of purple fairy wings made him smile.

A knock on the closed wooden door startled Lawrence out of his thoughts. He looked up in time to see a young nurse walk in. She was holding a clip-board carrying a thick amount of paper crammed with information.

"You've got a patient in room 214. Her name is Pamela Reynolds. She's a forty nine year old woman with stage four, terminal of course, brain cancer," the nurse said without preamble, handing him the clipboard. Lawrence read through the papers as the nurse left the room. There was a lot to read – she'd gone through many treatments. Most of them were the type that was given to the sick who had no money. The charity-paid ones. Apparently, every effort to slow or shrink the cancer had been in vain; she had days to live, if even. Judging by her health, Lawrence predicted three days.

The oncologist got up and left his office, closing the door behind him. It was time to confront the new patient. It was a sad and dirty job, having to tell someone that there was no hope, no chance of survival or beating the system, that they were going to die. She was the furthest gone one he'd received yet. It would be difficult to talk to the poor woman. Lawrence entered the elevator and pushed the button that would bring him to the fourth floor of the hospital at which he worked. The metal doors slid closed with a cheerful ding, and the elevator began to lift.

Once he reached the fourth floor, Lawrence walked briskly down the spotless white tile floor, his calm gaze flicking from door to door until he found the one marked '214'. He opened the door, stepped in, and closed it behind him before turning to see the patient.

Pamela Reynolds was a middle-aged woman with narrow greenish-grey eyes and black hair. Well, for the most part; she only had several patches of hair left, everything having fallen out already because of chemo. Her flesh was pale – paler than Adam's, even, though Lawrence assumed it would've been the same shade had she not been so ill – and there were dark bags beneath her eyes. Her cheeks were sunken, her lips chapped, and she was very thin. A weak smile spread across her face at the sight of Lawrence.

"Hello, doctor," she greeted warmly, raising a surprisingly steady hand. Lawrence returned the smile, walking over to the side of her bed and sitting down in the chair, taking her hand and shaking it.

"Hello, Mrs. Reynolds – ," he began. The dying woman interrupted him with a light laugh.

"Please, call me Pamela – Or, Pam, if you will – My husband died years ago," she said. Lawrence nodded.

"I'm sorry to hear about your husband, Pam. My name is Dr. Gordon. How are you feeling today?" he said, holding a red-ink pen in his right hand, which hovered over the clipboard in his lap, ready to write down anything of importance. The woman smiled at him – a kind, gentle, 'it's okay' smile.

"Dr. Gordon, I know I'm dying. There's no use beating around the bush. I've lived a long enough life. And though I've done many things I wish I could take back, many things I wish I'd never done or said, it's time to move on. Death is just another step in life. I've accepted my fate. How long do I have, Dr. Gordon?" she spoke softly, resting her right hand on the wrist of his left hand. Lawrence blinked, a bit surprised by her words. His expression lost the blank professional look that he always held when working, taking on an apologetic, unhappy, honest expression.

"My estimation is three days. You've been battling for a very long time, Pam. And from what I see on your file, you were just transferred here this morning. There's nothing left to do…I'm sorry," Lawrence said quietly. There was a long silence in which he sat there feeling bad for this kind lady and her lying there with a gentle look of acceptance. Finally, she drew in a deep breath, exhaled through her nose, and looked over at him with a smile that was meant to cheer him up.

"Well, that's quite unfortunate. I just feel terrible for making an attractive young man like you feel guilty for being the bearer of bad news. Don't you worry about me, honey. I've lived my life. I have nobody, really. I'm quite…interested in seeing what happens next. My husband's dead; he's probably waiting for me in that beautiful golden light," she said, making her voice as bright and careless as she could. Lawrence was appalled by her calmness. If someone told him that he had three days to live – if he was lucky – he would be devastated and terrified. He couldn't help but feel slightly amused by this woman who kind of reminded him of Adam – not just appearance wise with her greenish-gray eyes, black hair, and pale skin, but also in the way she just brushed things off. Despite what she said, he still found it necessary to find ways to help her make her passing easier.

"Do you have anyone you'd like to contact? No children, nieces, nephews, siblings?" Lawrence asked. The woman was silent for a moment, a thoughtful expression on her sickly face.

"I grew up as an only child, Dr. Gordon. I married my late husband when I was twenty, and had a son two years after that. He was an accident, but God must have given him to us for a reason. I…I wasn't the best parent. He didn't grow up as happy as most children should have. We were very poor, and couldn't afford to treat him with nice clothes and toys. He'd often go days without eating a proper meal. And we believed in strict punishments. Though, now that I looked back on it, we were horribly cruel, and I feel…"

She broke off, her throat constricting as she choked down a sob, tears trickling down her pale cheeks. Lawrence frowned, waiting patiently for her to continue, pitying this woman who had such terrible regrets. Not everyone was a perfect saint. It was obvious that the past pained her, and that she wanted to take it all back, to somehow redeem herself.

"I feel so guilty for causing such a lovely little boy such great pain and unhappiness. He hated us. I know he did. He ran away, eventually, and I never heard from him again. A few years after that, my husband died, and I was alone. Oh, Dr. Gordon, I was such a terrible woman in my younger, healthier days. I wish with all my life that I could take it all back. I wish so badly that I could erase it and go back in time and raise my beloved son properly. But it's too late, isn't it? Life's short. You must appreciate every second that ticks by, every person who you care for. You never know when you'll be diagnosed with terminal, stage four cancer," she said, wiping at her face and looking out the window.

Lawrence nodded slowly, taking in what she was saying. She hadn't made many good decisions or moves in her life. It was sad, witnessing a human being in such physical, emotional, and mental pain like this. It was heart-breaking. It truly made him thankful for what he had.

"Pam, would you like me to contact your son? Maybe I can find him and see if he'll come visit you. Surely he can find it in his heart to forgive you, if you talk to him as you did to me," he said softly. Pam hesitated, biting her lower lip worriedly, considering the option. Finally, she took another deep breath, and nodded.

"That would be lovely. It's worth a try. And if he doesn't forgive me, at least he'll know that I care and am sorry," she said. Lawrence leaned forward, waiting for her to give him a name and address, maybe even a phone number.

"I don't know where he lives, or what his phone number is, because, like I said, he ran away. And after my husband died, I went back to using my maiden name, so I'm sure he still carries his father's last name. Maybe you can check for him through your records? He's always had a knack for thrill and danger; I don't doubt he's gotten hurt at least once," she told him.

"Alright, well, what's his name?" Lawrence asked. Pam smiled fondly.

"Adam Faulkner."

**Dun-dun-duuuunnnn! Time for a whirlwind of horror. :(**

**Hopefully this chapter wasn't _too _awful; I threw it together in half an hour on a whim of motivation. xD Thanks for reading. Review, please? ^^**


	21. Chapter 21: Adam's Decision

**Disclaimer: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Well, here's the next chapter. :) I hope you enjoy it. Thank you for reading this far.**

Horror and disgust mingled into a quivering ball within Lawrence's stomach as he sat in the uncomfortable plastic chair, staring at Adam's dying mother with wide, shocked eyes. His body tensed, suddenly feeling hot all over, and licked his lips, feeling light-headed. This was Adam's _mother_? The monster who had abused him – mostly mentally – and made him feel like shit? The monster who was the reason why Adam was uncomfortable with people looking at him, the reason why he fidgeted and was hesitant to say 'I love you', the reason why he often cried whenever Lawrence held him late into the night, whispering sweet, affectionate words into his ear, stroking the boy's smooth flesh? Lawrence couldn't believe he was sitting with her at this very moment. Apparently, she seemed to realize something was wrong, for she shifted nervously in her bed, watching Lawrence's stunned reaction.

"Are you alright, Dr. Gordon?" she asked in that gentle voice. He could hardly believe she would ever scream and cuss at anyone, let alone an adorable young man like Adam. This was…unbelievable.

"I know him," Lawrence admitted, trying to regain composure. It was her turn to look shocked. Interest sparked in her eyes.

"How is he?" she asked. Her doctor smiled warmly at the thought of his boyfriend. The way he smiled at him every time he came home, the way he spoke excitedly, the look of concentration and thought that crossed his face as he prepared to take a picture of something, the way he laughed…

"He's doing alright. I don't know if you've heard, but last year he'd been kidnapped by a serial killer named Jigsaw. I was chained in the bathroom that Jigsaw put me in with him. He's been living with me," he replied. She nodded.

"Yes, I saw it on the news. I'm so relieved he escaped. Will you…Will you get him to come visit me? I…I would really like to see him," she said. Lawrence hesitated. He knew how much Adam hated his mother and father. But Pam was going to die. She didn't have much time, and she really seemed like she wanted to fix things before moving on. Maybe he could get Adam to drop by for just five minutes to let his mother say what she wanted to say. Adam didn't have to speak if he didn't want to. The boy was very stubborn, though, so Lawrence wasn't sure if he would.

"I'll try," he promised, standing up. Pam smiled happily, thanking him profusely.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lawrence entered his apartment, still feeling buzzed by the unbelievable encounter. He could barely believe he'd met Adam's mother. They looked so much alike, and both spoke fast when excited. He closed and locked the door behind him and removed his coat and shoes, listening for his loved ones. A roar of thunder shook the apartment, and he heard Diana cry out in fear in her bedroom. Adam murmured something comforting to her. The doctor walked quietly down the hallway and curled his hand around the cold metal of the door knob, twisting it and opening the door. Adam was sitting on the floor with Diana in his lap, her head against his chest. He had his arms wrapped around her tightly. When Lawrence walked into the room, Adam looked up and grinned at him before lowering his head and whispering something into Diana's ear. The little girl jumped up and ran to her father, throwing her arms around him and hugging him tightly.

"Daddy!" she yelled happily. Lawrence tugged her into the air, holding her in the crook of his arm. She wrapped one arm around his neck and planted a kiss against his cheek.

"Hey, baby," he replied. Adam leaned backward, sprawling out across the floor, grinning lazily.

Lawrence carried Diana into the living room, setting her down onto the couch and turning the TV on. Spongebob was playing; her favorite. Immediately the little girl was mesmerized, her large brown eyes following the hyper yellow sponge's every movement.

"I need to talk to Adam. Stay here and watch the television, alright, honey?" he said. Diana nodded, lying down and resting her head against one of the throw pillows.

Once his daughter was situated, Lawrence went back into her bedroom, where Adam was still lying on the floor.

"Adam…Can I talk to you?" he asked. His lover pushed himself up off the floor, nodded, a curious glint in his greenish-gray eyes – so much like his mother's – and followed Lawrence into their bedroom. Lawrence closed the door behind them and sat down at the end of the bed. He watched as Adam stood in the middle of the room, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt.

"There's something I need to tell you, but you can't interrupt me, okay?" he said. Adam stared at him suspiciously, a hint of worry in his eyes. After a quiet moment of consideration, he hesitantly nodded.

"Today, at work, a patient was put under my care. She has terminal stage four brain cancer. I read her charts and files; she's not doing well. Every attempt to shrink or slow the cancer has failed. I've given her three days to live, though she could die at any given moment at this point. I don't know why they waited so long to give her to me. She was filled with deep regret about her life. She cried as she explained her sins, and how she wanted to go back in time and change things. Her husband died years ago; she's been living all alone, battling this painful turmoil of cancer and regret and loneliness for a long time. Her name was Pamela Reynolds, though she asked me to call her Pam," Lawrence explained. He watched as all the color drained from Adam's face, how horror clouded those eyes, how those pale hands began to tremble.

Adam, through his fear and shock, looked a bit confused.

"How…How did you know she was…she…," he stammered.

"I asked her if there was anyone she wanted me to contact. She told me she had a son named Adam Faulkner. She told me this son of hers was treated terribly as a child, and that he ran away young. She's so sorry, Adam. She wants to talk to you, to see you, and – "

Adam interrupted him, looking disgusted.

"I'm not going to visit her sorry ass. Are you out of your fucking mind? Did you honestly think that you could persuade me to go see her? I refuse. I don't want to go to her. I want her to die alone. Completely and utterly alone, feeling liked a hated piece of shit that nobody gives two craps about. I want her to see how it feels when there's nobody there for you. I want her to experience how I grew up," he spat, furious. Lawrence was appalled by the ferocity of Adam's words; he knew that Adam would be angry, but he didn't know he'd be this spiteful.

"Adam, I understand why you'd be angry, I do. But she really regrets it. She would take it all back if she could. She's a different woman now, Adam. She's kind and gentle, and doesn't have much time. I think you should go to her, let her apologize for all she's done. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. But let her. She's dying. She's your _mother_," Lawrence said, frowning. Adam glared at him, pacing the room angrily.

"No, she wouldn't. She's a lying, deceitful bitch. She's the same abusive schmuck she's always been. She's using you. She may be dying, but I'm glad. I hope she hurts. I hope everything hurts," he sneered, tears filling his eyes. Lawrence stood up, going over to him, but was pushed away.

"That's horrible, Adam. You shouldn't wish such things on people, or karma will come to bite you in the ass. She's really changed. I couldn't believe it was your mom. She was so sweet. I want you to visit her. You'll never have to see her again," he tried.

Adam sat down on the loveseat across from the bed, burying his face into his hands. He didn't move when Lawrence sat beside him, but he did tense.

"What if you're wrong?" he asked quietly. Lawrence put his arm around him, pulling him close.

"I don't think I am. But if you go, and I am, you can just get up and leave. I'll give you ten minutes alone with her. And if you leave, I'll go home with you, and we won't talk about it. But if I'm right, and you want to spend more time with her, you can. What's the harm in going? Let a dying woman obtain some peace. It might take some weight off your chest, too," he said. Adam felt a sob claw at his throat, but he pushed it down.

A whirlwind of disbelief, old pain, shock, and fear wrecked havoc in his mind. He'd been treated so cruelly by both his parents. His mother had been the better of the two, but that didn't mean she wasn't evil herself. His father caused physical pain, but his mother caused the emotional pain, mentally abusing him. It had been a horror story growing up the way he had. He didn't want to see her. But at the same time, a scrap of love and hope surfaced through the negative, painful emotions. She was his mother, and he did love her; all children loved their parents, no matter what happened, no matter how deep this love might have buried itself. He couldn't help it. She was his mother. He'd grown up struggling to earn her affection. And now he had the opportunity. What if Lawrence was right? What if she really had changed? What if she wanted to make things better?

He was afraid. He was afraid of what he might find. But he supposed Lawrence was right on a few things. He could always get up and leave whenever he wanted to. And it was only ten minutes. What could possibly go wrong in ten minutes?

"Leave me alone to think about it," Adam mumbled. Lawrence nodded, silently getting up and leaving.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

That night, after Diana had been fed, washed, and tucked into bed, Lawrence showered, shaved, and brushed his teeth after Adam. He got into bed, thinking Adam was asleep. But he was wrong; the young man shifted so that he was lying on top of Lawrence. He pressed a minty kiss against Lawrence's lips.

"I thought about it," Adam whispered, his voice sounding slightly shaky in the very dimly lit bedroom. He sighed at the feel of Lawrence's hands against his back. Lawrence brought his lips to the side of Adam's neck. He pressed a hot, open-mouthed kiss against the soft flesh, and then bit down carefully, coaxing a moan from the younger man.

"Did you?" Lawrence asked, brushing his lips along Adam's throat. He moved his hands down Adam's body, his thumbs hooking around the waistband of Adam's boxers before tugging them down as low as he could manage. Adam released a shaky breath at the loss of clothing.

"Y-Yes," he murmured, shifting to grind his erection against Lawrence's, tipping his head back at the delicious sensation, a breathy sound falling from his lips.

"And what conclusion did you come to?" his lover asked, taking Adam's hardened, throbbing cock and giving it an abrupt, tight squeeze. He shivered with arousal at the gasp Adam made. He sat up, causing Adam to fall backward, and nudged the boy's legs apart, spreading them. He brought a trail of kisses up the inside of Adam's thigh.

"I'm…I'm going to visit her," Adam finally said, his back arching as Lawrence kissed the tip of his weeping cock. His fingers curled into the sheets, his eyes closing, head tilting back as Lawrence wrapped his lips around it, sucking slowly.

"Lawrence…" Adam groaned, a tremor running through his body, heat flaring in his groin.

"And how does that decision make you feel?" Lawrence asked, removing his lips, licking bitter pre-cum from Adam's slit. The younger man shuddered, gasping, hips jerking up.

"Terrified," Adam whispered. A couple of tears trickled down his flushed cheeks.

That night, they had sex, they spoke, they kissed, and had sex again. And when Adam finally fell asleep in Lawrence's arms, his breath evening out, Lawrence hoped that he'd made the right decision about informing Adam of his mother's illness.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Outside the room of his mother, Adam stood with Lawrence, dressed in a pair of dark jeans and a gray cotton T-shirt. He looked nervous.

"I'll be in my office. In ten minutes, I'll come get you. If you're not there, I'll know that you've gone home, and I'll meet you there," Lawrence said, giving Adam a chaste kiss. Adam nodded and watched him walk away. He took a deep breath, taking hold of the door knob, and closed his eyes. He swung the door open and walked inside, opening his eyes and closing the door behind him.

The room was cold and quiet, aside from the hum of the machines, and the beeping of the heart monitor. He sat down at the chair by the side of his mother's bed, looking at her frail, dying body with a mixture of hate and sorrow. She opened her eyes and stared back at him. Finally, a smile spread across her face. Adam blinked, surprised. Her hand moved, resting on his.

"Adam," she said softly. Adam licked his lips.

"Hi, mom," he mumbled. Her dry hand moved up, taking hold of his wrist. Her grip suddenly tightened painfully, her nails digging into the flesh. He jumped, startled, and his eyes widened. She sneered up at him.

"I've been waiting, you piece of shit," she hissed.

**Adam's mother, as she always had been and forever will be, is a horrifying bitch. :( And I'm sorry to say that the next few chapters will be heart breaking. Hopefully you guys liked this chapter as best as you could, despite Adam's terrible luck. Review, please. They motivate me to write more. ^^ **


	22. Chapter 22: Mommy's Mind

**Disclaimer: I don't own the Saw series or any of the characters.**

**Other: Here's the next chapter. It's horrible and heart-breaking. :( Thank you 'the airhead', who left me a lovely review. I couldn't message you my gratitute because you weren't logged in. I appreciate everyone who has reviewed! They make me so happy. :) **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter the best you can. Thank you for reading this far, and I apologize for the shortness. I was in a rush to publish it. ^^"'**

Horror and cold fear washed over Adam's body, freezing him, forcing him to remain motionless and tense in that chair, unable to flee. Even if he was able to stand up to leave, his mother had Adam's wrist in a death grip; he'd have to beat her to get her to let go. So he sat there, staring at the dying woman as the blood drained from his face, leaving him a sickly pale color, his eyes wide. Flashbacks from his childhood raced through his mind, and his breathing quickened.

"I've been looking for you for years, you miserable little bastard. You thought you could just _run away _and leave your father and I, who fucking raised your pathetic ass despite the fact that we never wanted you to begin with? If so, you're so fucking wrong. When I saw on the news that you'd been kidnapped by Jigsaw and had been rescued, I was furious. Someone finally had the balls to throw your fucking useless self into a dirty, cold, dark room, in which you deserved to rot away, and of course the law somehow finds the need to take you out. I had to find you, to continue Jigsaw's idea, to throw you into our basement and leave you there to fucking die. But by then, I was too sick, and your father had already died. It was impossible. That's the real tragedy of this fucking disease. I die, knowing your stupid ass is still living on this earth, unscathed," she snarled, her voice dripping with fury and hatred.

Adam's eyes, glistening with an unshed sheen of tears, opened his mouth, struggling to find something – anything – to say to the woman who had provoked fear and horror in him all his life. The woman whom he'd always despised yet couldn't help but feel the urge to win her appraisal and love. His body felt cold and numb all over, and he stammered incoherently, breath hitching, throat constricting. With her free hand, his mother slapped him hard across the face, silencing him. Trembling, Adam slowly turned his head back to face her once more, a red mark already forming her hand print on his pale cheek.

"Shut your fucking mouth. I don't want to hear any of your shit. You deserve to die, not me. You were an unwanted accident, a bundle of annoying, disgusting, infuriating, misery. All you were and always will be is a nuisance, a burden. And as if you weren't a complete waste of our lives enough, you couldn't redeem yourself by finding a worthy girl; no, you had to go and become a fucking faggot. How disgustingly pathetic, how shameful, how utterly expected of a stupid-ass bastard like yourself. Living with that rich doctor, ruining his life, throwing your unwanted, needy, whiny, pathetic self at him; I pity the poor man. He could do so, so much better than the piece of shit like you. I don't understand what he sees in you. Look at yourself; the world's scum. He probably keeps you around just to have someone suck his cock and fuck him until he can find someone better. _That _I can understand. That's about all you can do, isn't it? Suck cock and mooch off of people. I hear you're living with him. Can't even afford your own apartment, can you? That's because you're so fucking stupid that you can't get a job, plus the fact that you have absolutely no skill and talent when it comes to anything. Who would hire shit like you? You've got no education. You're nothing more than a piece of trash blowing across an abandoned highway; useless, unwanted, disgusting. The shame of humanity," Adam's mother sneered.

Her son could do nothing more than sit there and listen, absorbing every word, a couple of tears sliding down his hot cheeks. He swallowed hard, each cold word stabbing into him. He began to believe her.

"So why don't you do the world a favor? Something to make up for the fact that you've polluted it for so long with your pathetic-ass life? I've got just the solution, too," she said, using her free hand to reach below the covers slowly. She pulled out a gleaming scalpel, offering it to him.

"Kill yourself. Leave this planet. It's not like anyone will care. Nobody will even notice. Dr. Gordon will be disappointed that he doesn't have a piece of shit to suck him off any more, but he'll get over it; he'll find someone else. And I fucking hate you; I always have and always will. I never wanted you. Never. And neither did your father, though that much was obvious. When I finally pushed you out of my body, after having carried you for nine, long, wasted, miserable fucking months, they forced me to hold you. I was fucking disgusted as you were put into my arms. I wanted nothing more than to throw your weak, vulnerable, new body to the hard tile floor and hope that you died. I couldn't believe that karma was a bitch enough to give you to me. I only kept you and raised you in hopes that you'd be useful enough to get some money flowing into our wallets. But of course not. You were a useless piece of shit like I knew you would be. I gave you the name 'Adam' because it was one of the nurse's names; the same nurse that gave me a quick fuck after I had gained enough strength to enjoy it. I couldn't think of a name – and I certainly didn't want to waste time choosing one, knowing I wouldn't be using it much anyway – so I decided to give you his name once I'd finished cleaning myself off," she said.

Adam, frozen and feeling nauseas, tears wetting his face, looked at the scalpel, tempted to take it and end his life, to escape the pain and misery he felt.

"So, make it up to me. Let me watch you die. Let me enjoy the sight of your dead body lying on the tile floor in a puddle of blood. Do that for me, since you've done nothing else for me. You fucking bastard, take the scalpel and do it!" she snarled, whipping the hand holding the scalpel at his face. The sharp point sliced his cheek open, from his temple to his jaw. Warm blood began to trickle from the cut, and he flinched, a sob clawing at his throat.

"I…I can't," he whispered. She glared at him in hatred and disgust, watching her only son cry, tremble, and bleed.

"Of course not; I was expecting as much from a pathetic, sniveling asshole such as yourself. I hope my next act fucking haunts your dreams for the rest of your useless, burdensome, shitty, fucking life," she hissed. With wide, tear-filled eyes, Adam watched in horror, unable to look away as his mother raised the scalpel to her own throat, tugging Adam close, their faces inches apart. Without hesitation or further preamble, Pamela Reynolds (Faulkner) slashed violently at her throat. Her blood splashed over Adam's face, neck and shirt, staining his lips, the metallic, coppery taste making his taste buds shriek in disgust and horror. The wet, warm blood made his skin feel sticky and gross, his shirt absorbing it quickly, clinging slightly to his chest and making him shiver.

She died almost instantly, the heart monitor – or maybe a different machine, Adam wasn't sure – began to beep wildly. Her blood covered hand fell l to her side, still holding the blood stained scalpel. For a moment, Adam remained leaning over his mother, covered in her blood, his eyes wider than ever with shock. Finally, he slowly leaned back, sitting as straight as a board in that chair, unblinking, his mind blank, his body cold and numb and bloody.

Everything seemed to melt away. Every thought, every matter, _everything. _Nothing mattered. His unblinking, wide gaze remained focused on his dead mother, on the gaping, horrifying gash in her neck. He felt and thought absolutely nothing. He was husk of himself, a hollow shell, sitting straight and rigid in that chair, his mother's hand still wrapped around his wrist, but limp; he could pull away easily now. But he didn't. He remained motionless and silent.

She had killed herself right in front of him.

She was dead.

Gone.

Forever.

**I don't know about you, but I want to hug Adam and promise that everything will be fine, that Lawrence loves him, that nothing was his fault. :(**

**Poor darling. **

**Reviews are beautiful, please leave them. :) Thank you for reading. **


	23. Chapter 23: Broken

**Disclaimers: I do not own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: I'm sorry for taking so long to update. I was actually going to just stop writing this fanfic. XD Like, I was going to leave it to rot and collect dust. But I got some really nice reviews, and it motivated me to continue, so here we are. :'D Thanks guys, I really appreciated those reviews. They were so sweet, and each one made me smile. I know this isn't my best work, but it's nearly 2:30 in the morning, I'm sitting in my room in the dark, and I'm so tired that my contacts feel like they're glued to my eyes, haha! But I really wanted to update ASAP. **

**Anyway, thanks again for the reviews. :) If you guys have any suggestions, or what you think I should do next, what you want to happen, et cetera, feel free to tell me! ^^ I'd love that. Of course you'd get credit for giving me the idea. OH, before I leave you to enjoy this chapter, did you guys know that there's a Saw 0.5? They made it before releasing Saw 1 to see if people would be interested in the series. It features Adam, and he's so gorgeous. I strongly advise looking it up on you-tube. Just type in Saw 0.5, it's like 15 minutes long at best, but totally worth it. Let me know what you think if you watch it! :D**

**Enjoy!**

The beeping of the machinery alerted the nurses' station. Within moments, nurses had swarmed the room, yelling orders to one another. Adam wasn't listening. He didn't hear any of this. He sat there, gazing numbly down at his mother, her blood dripping from his face. Someone grabbed his shoulder and shook him, demanding to know what had happened. Their words sounded a million miles away, and his brain forgot how to form words. He remained silent and unmoving.

The police arrived, of course, and snapped pictures, questioned the nurses, and approached Adam. They were frustrated and angered by Adam's stunned silence. The boy wouldn't – or couldn't – talk, and nobody could get his attention away from the corpse.

Lawrence burst into the room, panic clear on his face, and went straight to Adam. He knelt down, smacking Pam's hand away from Adam's wrist, and grabbed Adam's hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Adam, tell us what happened," he said. He watched as Adam swallowed, a muscle jump in his jaw, but the younger man didn't reply. A police officer sighed heavily.

"He's in shock. We'll wait a few days before getting into contact with you. We need to speak to him. In the mean time, he's free to go home. Give us a call when he's recovered a bit," the officer said to Lawrence. Lawrence nodded. The body of Adam's mother was taken from the room in a body bag, and the nurses began to help remove the bloody sheets and recover the scalpel for 'evidence'. Adam's eyes remained focused on the bed.

"Adam, look at me, please," Lawrence begged. He gently took hold of Adam's chin and turned his head to face him. The empty _deadness _in Adam's eyes unsettled Lawrence. It twisted his stomach to see Adam so pale and bloody, so emotionless and unmoving, so silent. He didn't acknowledge Lawrence's presence, and it was like he was looking _through _Lawrence rather than at him.

Guilt flooded through Lawrence's body as his heart broke, his throat closing, his skin breaking out in goosebumps. He'd done this. He'd done this to his Adam. If he hadn't made Adam come here, this wouldn't have happened. Adam hadn't wanted to go. He'd been scared – _terrified and in tears _– and Lawrence had talked him into going anyway. Of course his mother hadn't changed. A psychopath is a psycho forever, they don't change. Why had he thought that Pam had changed? Even Adam had insisted that she hadn't, that she was probably lying. And Adam had been right, of course. But he'd gone anyway, because he'd wanted to please Lawrence and perhaps even finally gain the love he'd craved so _badly _from his mother. Obviously those plans had crashed and burned. The young man had absolutely no expression on his face, no emotion in those gorgeous eyes, and his lovely pale flesh was stained and dripping with the evil blood of his deceased mother.

It was obvious that Adam wasn't going to talk. He was traumatized. And he had every right to be. Lawrence swallowed hard and stood up, pulling Adam carefully up with him, unsure of whether or not the boy could support himself. He could; those dead eyes dropped to the floor though, as if he had to look at it to make sure it was still there for his feet to move across. Lawrence was holding Adam's hand, but it was limp, because Adam was giving zero effort in holding Lawrence's hand back. It was like holding the hand of a sleeping person.

He told the head nurse that he was going home early to help Adam, and that he'd try to have everything cleared up over the weekend. The nurse was too busy to argue; she simply nodded and went back to scrubbing blood off of the floor.

Once Lawrence had gotten Adam back to their apartment, he led him to the bathroom and made him sit down on the edge of the bath tub. He soaked a cloth in warm water and soap, and then began gently washing the blood from Adam's face and neck. It was silent in the bathroom. It was almost eerie; Adam hated silence. He would either fidget or ramble. But now he just sat there like an emotionless doll.

"Adam, I'm really sorry. This is all my fault. If I hadn't made you go, this would have never happened. I don't know what occurred in the room, but I saw the results, and I…I'm so sorry, Adam. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have talked you into going. I knew you didn't want to, but I stupidly thought that Pam had changed," Lawrence said, his voice quivering slightly. Adam remained silent, his gaze still on the floor. Lawrence's eyes filled with tears and he finished washing Adam, changing him into a clean pair of boxers and tucking him into their large comfy bed.

"Adam, I love you. Please talk to me. Please…I can't stand seeing you like this," Lawrence begged, tugging the seemingly lifeless body into his arms, holding him tight to his body, as if that would make him go back to normal, as if his immense love for the young photographer would cheer him up, bring life back into his eyes, force that lopsided grin onto that mischievous face. But it didn't. Adam did not move or speak.

A couple of tears trickled down Lawrence's cheeks.

"I promise everything will be alright. Everything will be fine. I swear it on my life. We'll work things out," Lawrence whispered, pressing a kiss salty with tears against the side of Adam's neck.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The next day, Lawrence spent most of the day in the home office on the phone, speaking to police officers, hospital staff, and news crew. Diana wasn't going to be with Lawrence for a while, because he'd decided he didn't have time to be taking care of both Diana and Adam right now while dealing with the suicide of Pamela Reynolds. It was too overwhelming, too much work, and he'd go crazy. Diana wasn't exactly pleased with this news; she wanted to be with Adam, unaware of his current state of mind. But Lawrence promised they'd go to an amusement park as soon as everything cleared up.

Adam never left the room. He'd go to the bathroom every couple of hours, but he refused to eat. He lied in bed all day, a weak, crumpled heap beneath the covers of the dimly lit bedroom, his eyes open and staring unseeingly at the wall.

Lawrence didn't know what to do. During his free time, he'd curl up on the bed with Adam, stroking his back and murmuring soft, affectionate words in his lover's ear, but he never received a response of any kind. Adam no longer leaned into his touch, looked at him, or made any sound. It was so strange, terrible, and heart breaking. How could you cure someone like this if you didn't even know what exactly had happened? It must've been really, really bad to throw Adam into such a deep depression.

Days went by, and Adam didn't change. He lost too much weight, the color disappeared from his face, and his empty eyes began to carry dark bags. Lawrence bathed him himself, and forced cold water into his mouth to keep him hydrated, but he couldn't force him to eat, it was impossible. It would be better if Adam was at least crying or looking at him. But he wasn't. He was just a shell of who he once was. He showed no signs of nightmares, because he wasn't even sleeping. And when he did sleep, it was in periods of twenty minutes every couple hours.

Adam had been broken.

This confident, sexy, adorable, funny, young man had finally been broken. The boy who seemed so strong, had finally crumbled. This wasn't Adam. It couldn't be. Where were those cheesy jokes? Lawrence remembered a particular time when he'd come home and noticed how cheerful Adam was.

"What's up?" he'd asked him.

"If I tell you, will you sit on it?" Adam had replied with a wide grin.

Where were those random, long, silent hugs, in which Lawrence would hold that lanky yet toned body to his own, feel his heart beat in sync with Adam's, and share body heat? Where were those loud, contagious laughs, those hungry kisses, those irresistible smirks? Where were the terrible nightmares? Where had the silly bickering gone, the crazy adventures of going to Chinese buffets at three in the morning, skinny dipping in the pool, Lawrence fearing the idea of being caught, while Adam actually hoped for it just for the memory?

Days turned into a week and a half.

That Adam was gone.

Who was this?

He didn't know, but it certainly wasn't Adam. His Adam had been broken.

Broken like a very used toy.

And though Lawrence tried desperately to patch him back up, to piece together the shattered pieces of Adam's heart and soul, he got nowhere. He was running to death on that treadmill, but as fast as he ran, he was getting nowhere.

Adam was broken.

And it seemed like he'd never be repaired.

**Now that I've depressed you all, I'm going to bed. :D I hope you liked this chapter...as best you could, despite Adam's misfortune. Please review! Thank you! :) I'll try to update again this weekend, but I make no promises that I can't keep...usually. ;D Goodnight - or morning! :)**


	24. Chapter 24: The Mirror Shows Nothing

**Disclaimers: I don't own Saw or any of the characters.**

**Other: Hey, guys, I hope everyone is doing well. :) Thank you so much for the reviews, I love and appreciate them. I'm sorry I've been taking so long to update. Life's kind of rough right now, and I'm trying to make things better. Anyway, hopefully my story is still pleasing you. Enjoy!**

The week and a half turned into three months. Adam had eventually begun eating, much to Lawrence's relief. It wasn't full meals that he'd eat, however. Lawrence would bring him a fruit, vegetable, chocolate bar, or any other kind of snack food, and Adam would spend an hour or so consuming it. He'd lost too much weight, too much color. He looked even more fragile and vulnerable than he had ever looked in Jigsaw's bathroom. His flesh was a sickly, pasty white from the lack of sunlight, and the bags under Adam's eyes were so deep and dark that he simply looked like an abuse victim. Each time Lawrence looked at him, his heart broke more and more. Nothing he did or said would have any effect on the boy. Nothing.

The beginning of his small snacking, and the fact that he'd begun to fidget with his sleeves or the hem of his shirt were tiny signs of hope that Adam might recover from his shock soon. The past three months had been long, torturous, and lonely. Many nights Lawrence had broken down in the bathroom, resting his forehead against the cold glass of the bathroom mirror, his body quaking with silent sobs, tears of frustration and guilt streaming down his face, knowing that his traumatized lover lay in the bedroom, slowly drifting away from him.

Diana called every night. And every night she asked to talk to Adam. But Lawrence had to always give an excuse as to why Adam couldn't talk. Diana obviously realized that something was wrong by the first three weeks. Adam had promised a long time ago that he'd always be there to talk to her. And now he was…gone? She was confused and worried. But Lawrence assured her that he'd have him call her the minute he could.

The fourth month was approaching, and Lawrence didn't know what to do. He could never give up on Adam. Close co-workers and the neighbor Sue suggested that maybe Lawrence should leave him, take a break, show that he couldn't be with Adam if he wasn't going to even try to help himself. Adam couldn't help himself. Not now, not when he was afflicted with so much pain and shock. That would just make things worse. Then he would be completely alone, rejected by his family and lover. No, Lawrence wasn't going to leave. He wouldn't even dream of threatening him with such a horrible thing. But what was he going to do? Adam wouldn't talk, wouldn't look at him…It was so complicated.

A week before the fourth month would begin, Lawrence came home and took off his coat, hanging it neatly on the coat rack. He kicked his shoes off, tossed his brief case onto the couch, and walked into the bedroom. The bed was empty, the sheets rumpled and the blanket half-hanging off of the bed, as though Adam had been lying there but then had tossed the blankets off and rolled out of bed.

"Adam, where are you?" he called out, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He went into the master bathroom. He'd already been out by the living room, and if Adam had been there or in the kitchen, he would've seen him. He had no reason to be in the office or Diana's room, or in the bathroom by Diana's room since there was a bathroom right here. So this was his first and correct choice.

Adam stood there, wearing only his boxers, his dead eyes gazing blankly into the mirror at his reflection. Light tremors ran through his arms, snaking across his shoulders, spilling down his back and chest. His chapped lips were parted, as he took in sharp, small intakes of breath. His left hand was curled into a tight fist. Lawrence stared at him, unsure of what to do or say. Adam's gaze shifted to Lawrence, not turning his face away from the mirror, but simply looking at the doctor's reflection. It was the first time Adam looked at Lawrence in four months, even indirectly in a way like this. Lawrence looked back at him, afraid to move or breathe, as if anything would break this moment and Adam would retreat again.

There was silence for a long time. Lawrence heard a quiet dripping noise. He didn't know where it was coming from, nor did he care at the moment. He held Adam's gaze in the reflection.

"What do you see when you look into the mirror?" Adam asked. His voice was no louder than a quiet whisper, and it sounded husky, from the lack of use. Lawrence almost didn't hear him. But the room was quiet enough – despite the dripping – to just barely hear him.

"Myself; a tall, blonde, blue eyed, Caucasian man, usually wearing some sort of formal attire," Lawrence replied, still looking at Adam. The younger man flinched slightly, gasping, eyes fluttering closed. Lawrence was greatly concerned.

"Adam, what – "

"How can you say that when you didn't even look at yourself?" Adam interrupted. Lawrence frowned. What was the point of this conversation? Why did these stupid questions even matter? After four months of absolutely nothing, Adam was going to talk about a reflection?

"Adam, I'm thirty three years old. I've been looking into mirrors since the age of three. I know what I look like, I don't have to look," he said.

_Drip, drip, drip_

"Did I ask what you look like?" Adam asked, his tone never changing.

"No, but you asked what I see when I look in the mirror, so – "

"Then tell me what you see when you look in the mirror," Adam spoke right over him before he could continue. Lawrence grit his teeth. As happy as he was to hear Adam talking, it was slightly annoying and frustrating to be talking about something like this. And he knew that Adam would not allow the topic to change. If Lawrence didn't go along with it, Adam would simply ignore him and shut down all over again. He didn't want to break their gaze, but he did, and looked at his own reflection. He looked worried, confused, and stressed.

"I see a doctor. He's just come home from work, and he's tired. His lover, who means the world to him, is confusing him with crazy talk. His lover hasn't been himself for four months, so the doctor is really worried and stressed out. He wants to talk to the lover, he misses him, a lot. He's so confused. He doesn't know what to do. I see Dr. Lawrence Gordon," he finally said.

Adam was silent for a long time, simply looking at Lawrence's reflection. It didn't seem like he was going to talk again, and Lawrence felt panic ballooning within him.

"What do _you _see when you look in the mirror?" Lawrence whispered, palms beginning to sweat. For a couple of minutes, Adam said nothing, and continued to look at Lawrence. However, he finally slid his gaze onto his own reflection. A muscle jumped in his jaw. He swallowed with an audible click.

"I see worthless shit. An unwanted accident, a nuisance, a burden, a piece of trash blowing across an abandoned highway; useless, unwanted, disgusting. The shame of humanity. Mom, I see a voyeur. And what does a voyeur see when they look in a mirror? They don't see anything, Jigsaw. They see what they want to see, and that would be nothing. When someone was not meant to be on this planet, when someone has been hated and loathed their entire life, what do they want to see? When they had nobody and nothing, what do they want to see? When life has nothing to offer to them, why should the mirror offer them anything greater? There is nothing. I see nothing. I am nothing," Adam spoke, his tone remaining flat, lifeless.

"Is that what you see? Or is that what Jigsaw and your mother see?" Lawrence asked.

_Drip drip drip_

"There's nothing to see! There's nothing to fucking see! When there's nothing standing before a mirror, there's nothing to see. I am nothing! I…I feel nothing," he screamed. Lawrence jumped, startled badly by the sudden aggression.

"There's nothing, nothing is everything, and therefore everything is nothing. And if nothing is everything, and everything is nothing, than what is life? What is the fucking point of life if we're all going to die? Everyone dies. Why not just end it quicker? Speed the process. Death is nothing, because nothing is everything, because everything is nothing, which means that life is nothing since death is nothing," Adam shouted. He suddenly uncurled his left fist. Blood splashed onto the tile floor. A blood stained scalpel gleamed cruelly at Lawrence. Before he could even blink, Adam had slashed it across other arm, attacking himself, as if trying to release an inner demon.

"Adam, give it to me! Stop!" Lawrence shouted, running over to him. Adam threw himself to the bloody tile, curling up and screaming, continuing to slice his arms. They fought over the scalpel, Adam rolling around, covered in his own blood, shouting at Lawrence to get off of him, to leave him alone.

"Why are you doing this?" Lawrence screamed, struggling to pull the scalpel away from Adam's shaking bleeding arm.

"Because I can't feel it! I can't feel anything, I…I feel…I feel nothing, oh, man, Lawrence, there's _nothing," _he wailed. Adam suddenly burst into tears. His entire body wracked with sobs, and the scalpel fell from his hands. He curled himself into a tight ball, rocking back and forth rhythmically. Lawrence grabbed the scalpel, pocketed it, and then promptly threw his arms around Adam, bringing him tight to his body, not caring if Adam bloodied his clothes. He cried, too. Adam was so weak that he could barely support himself in Lawrence's arms. He simply allowed himself to be a sobbing, bloody mess in the arms of someone who'd been waiting almost four months to hear his voice.

Together, they cried, clinging together as though they were the only two people alive, as though they were each other's life lines.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Lawrence finished cleaning and bandaging both of Adam's arms as well as Adam's left hand. The boy's flushed face was streaked with dried trails of tears, and his thin body shuddered uncontrollably from crying so hard. He buried his face into the crook of Lawrence's neck, and the man picked him up, carrying him into the bedroom and tucking him into bed. He then crawled in beside him, and Adam curled up against him.

"Adam," Lawrence said softly.

Adam said nothing, but his tears began to soak through Lawrence's shirt, dampening the flesh beneath. The shock had worn off. Now it was time to deal with the heart ache. Lawrence would be there for him – with him – every step along the way. To show him that everything was not everything, nothing was not everything, life was not nothing, and neither was death.

Lawrence hugged the shaking boy tightly, burying his face into soft, black hair, and silently promised him that everything would be alright. As if Adam had read his mind, he relaxed slightly, and drifted off to sleep.

**I couldn't keep Adam so broken for long. I think I should've waited another chapter before having him snap back to it, but...It was really boring at every attempt I made. So finally, I decided to just have him wake up a little. Not all the way, there's still a process of healing, but...-shrug- **

**Anyway, I hope you've enjoyed it. Please review! :)**


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